Treat all relationships like you are buying a car
Treat all relationships like buying a car.
Why you may ask? We would be happier, healthier and wealthier. Unlike relationships, we don’t buy a car on impulse. We are extremely vigilant about buying a car because it will cost us money. We research, ask opinions, and research some more. Well the truth is that relationships cost us so much more. They cost us our time. Time is something we will never get back.
When shopping for a car we know what we need. It can be a luxury car. Luxury offers us comfort and durability. Often we spot that shiny new fast sporty two door for a hot minute but with little ones, the stable and safe family car is the best option. Or we can get away with a temporary whoopty to get us back and forth. Yes, it’s unreliable and will eventually break down but it’s cheap, easy and we know it’s limitations.
Once we settle on the kind of car we need at the dealership we check the tires, look under the hood for trouble and we take it for a test drive. We check its record to make sure if it’s safe and reliable. We ask for its history to see if it has broken down in times of need or if it had any accidents. And finally we ask how much will it really cost and decide if it is worth the investment.
Do the same thing with your relationships. Ask yourself is that relationship really worth it? Does that relationship make you better? Will the relationship protect you, keep you safe and take you where you need to go? If so, carry on. If not, you have to decide if your relationship is worth salvaging, can you trade it in or is it easier to junk it? It’s up to you.
Remember a revolution always starts between two ears. Start your revolution today.
BBG
Agree. I once wrote a report about the experience of moving one’s parent(s) into a rest home, and observed that the rest homes gave less assurance than did the appliance store when they sold us a new refrigerator.
One thing that stops us from being careful is a fear of being judged “too cautious.” So where car buying is marked by friends telling us, “take care!” and “be sure you get a mechanic friend to look it over!” when it comes to relationships we’re often surrounded by friends who tell us “follow your heart!”
In a research study on safe sex our research team posed a hypothetical situation to male respondents and a parallel situation to female respondents.
We said: “Imagine this: you meet somebody at a nightclub and he/she is immediately attractive. You hit it off and later you agree to go back to his/her place. The agenda is shared - you want sex.”
“But then this moment occurs: you ask him if he has a condom and he says no. Now you have one in your purse and the question is - would you stop and say ‘honey, it’s okay, I keep a few in my purse.” What would you do: and why?
The female respondents 18-24 mostly told us that they would do nothing, because they didn’t want the guy to think that she ‘sleeps around.’
Guys answered basically the same way. They wouldn’t tell their new friend, “it’s okay honey, I keep a few in my wallet” because that would imply that HE sleeps around too.
So there we found young men and women would rather share unprotected sex with a stranger than be thought-of as someone who sleeps around.
Most relationships don’t involve sex of course - but even as we form friendships I wonder, as you do, whether we’re guided not by common caution, but by the sometimes wild call of the heart and the worry of what of the other person will think.
At least at a car dealership the rules are clearer. We know the dealer doesn’t care about us, and we understand fully that he’s only in it for the sale. Good blog.