100 Days to a Brand New You: How to Deal with an Unsupportive Spouse/Partner (93/100)
Whether you are starting a new business, a switching to new career or just moving in a different direction some of us have had to deal with an unsupportive partner. What does the unsupportive partner do or say? Well they question your hopes, dreams and or goals. They make sarcastic comments to discourage you. Sometimes they can even sabotage you. Some of questions you may hear from an unsupportive partner are, are you sure you want to do this? What if you fail? And if you are starting a new business why don’t you get a real job?
I know you are thinking to yourself why don’t they support me? What happen to love and honor? Why are they criticizing your goal? The first thing I want you to know that this comes from a fear of change. It’s the fear of you being different. The fear of the unknown. The fear of failure and even the fear of your success. If you want to stay in the relationship the trick is for you to be diplomatic about it. You cannot let their fear and doubts become your own. Here is what you can do for yourself:
- Feel secure about yourself and your decision. Trust your gut.
- Stick with your decision. Don’t put others peoples happiness or misery in front of your own happiness.
- Use their skepticism as motivation to succeed.
- Recognize that you can’t change their opinion and the only opinion that matters is yours.
- Stop seeking approval from others. Give yourself permission to succeed.
- Consider the source. What motives do they have? Are they achieving their goals? If not, it could be they resent you for working on yours.
- If your partner cannot support you for whatever reason surround yourself with people who will support you. Find a like-minded community. You can even create your own on social media.
How to handle your spouse or partner:
- If they offer unsolicited advice be an active listener and thank them for their suggestion.
- Avoid talking about it. If your partner asks you how is (insert activity) going” and you know this will lead to a put down you should say great and move on. Don’t get into the details because you will end up having a conversation about your activity you may not want to have.
- Remind them that your success is attributed to the strength of your relationship. Say, “Hey honey, I wouldn’t be here without you.”
- Ask them how you can help them achieve their goals.
If none of this works counseling may also be an option. Some may say leave. That is really up to you. I would suggest if your relationship is worth salvaging consider seeking the help of a licensed professional to get down to the core of the situation. Like I said never let someone else’s fear or doubts become your own.
Remember the only limit you have is the one you place on yourself. So think and be limitless.
For the rest of our 100 Days to a Brand New You Challenge post click here.