Whenever some negative statistic drops in the media or there are any negative representation of Blackness, the cult of Black misogyny’s default is to blame Black women. If a child came from a single home and struggles, the mother is to blame. If a child comes from a two parent household and struggles, the mother is to blame. No one ever asks where are the fathers? No one ever says to Black men that, “only a Black man can teach a Black man how to be a man so teach.” No one ever says, “only a father can teach a daughter how to be treated by a man.” If someone assaults a Black woman, all Black women and not the assailant are to blame. If a Black relationship fails, it will be because of her shortcomings. Why is it is easy to blame Black women instead of looking at the entire community? It’s because it means we have to take an honest look at Black males. Black males are a protected class within the Black community so we can’t.
As a result, I have decided to write a post asking what if Black women treated Black men the way they treated us. How would Black men feel if the roles were reversed? Would they be hurt or feel discouraged? Would they proclaim their unconditional loyalty as Black women do to their detriment? Would Black men accept the burden of being the backbone of the Black community even if they failed to benefit from it? Would they be rightfully angry and be punished for it? This post isn’t an indictment or attack on the individual Black man. Black men are not monolithic. It’s just my observation of the misogyny and hypocrisy within the Black community. WARNING!! This post is a long one. Black male misogynists, please check your privilege at the door and Black male identified Black women protectors try thinking of yourself, your sisters and daughters for once. Feel free to disagree or agree.
- Black women would only support Black women and nonBlack entertainment.
- For over 30 years, Black women rappers would degrade Black males and call it Black culture.
- Black women would support anti-Black male entertainers who stereotype Black males and minimize it by calling it a just a joke or a song.
- A Black woman rapper would promote colorism and intraracism when she says, “Beautiful Black man. I bet he’d look better red” as Lil Wayne did without any repercussions.
- A Black woman comedian would say #handsdown Light-skinned Black males usually have better credit than a dark-skinned male…Broke as dark nig**s…Lol. Dark skinned men take a punch @ da face better than light-skinned men…u soft as yellow boys…lol” as Kevin Hart did and Black women would still support her despite the protest of Black males.
- Black women would judge and support Black male entertainers based on how light their skin is and the straightness of their hair.
- Black women entertainers would purposely place nonblack, light skin Black males or biracial males in music videos and movies as their love interests and erase the images of dark skin Black males.
- Black and Biracial males like Drake, JCole, Boris Kodjoe, Jessie Williams, Dwayne Johnson and Wentworth Miller would be the standard of manhood and beauty in the Black community.
- Dark skin Black male actors and comedians like Denzel Washington, Idris Elba, Don Cheadle, Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, Wesley Snipes and others would be called a fetish for appealing to nonblack audiences as they said about Lupita Nyong’o . Light skin or brown skin male actors like Will Smith and lighter would be the norm and no one would question their success.
- Black women would call Black male characters that sleep with nonBlack women race traitors. Black women would remind Black male fans that White women are the daughters of the slave masters whose word killed Emmitt Till and voted to let Trayvon’s murder walk free.
- Black women actresses, comedians and entertainers would write books like “Think Like A Black Woman”, “the Beyoncé Principle: Why Black Men can’t find a good Black woman.” They’d have TV shows with an all-Black woman panel asking why Black males aren’t getting married because Black males do have the highest unmarried rate in the United States.
- Black women and Black actresses would justify their interracial dating choices by saying that television shows like The Wire or Oz, rap music, television news or reality shows which were created and controlled by the White media were an accurate universal depiction of Black male behavior.
- Black women directors would have told Elizabeth Keckely’s and Rekia Boyd’s story while ignoring Solomon Northrup’s and Oscar Grant’s.
- Black women would use the bible against Black males and say Black males have the highest unmarried because they do not know how to provide due to high unemployment and incarceration rates. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
- Black women who exclusively date and marry nonBlacks would call it having a preference while Black men who dated and or married to a nonBlack partner were self-hating hypersexual Mandingos.
- Black women would use studies by racist nonBlacks to prove the unattractiveness of Black males.
- Black women would say that White women are only married to Black men for the money. If Black men didn’t have access to money, we all know that they would have never have access to White women.
- Black women would tell Black men that nobody wants Black men except unattractive nonBlack people.
Society and Culture
- Black women would call Black men Black males and other names to dehumanize them.
- Black women would hypersexualize Black males by reducing them only to body parts.
- Black women would blame the ills of the Black community on Black men and Black fatherlessness.
- Black women would say that Black males are loud, ghetto, hypersexual, insecure, bitter, violent, broke and jealous of successful of White males based on antebellum stereotypes. Some Black males would even agree.
- Black women would tell dark skin males that they look good for a dark skin male.
- Black women and nonBlack men would use social media to troll, denigrate and humiliate Black men.
- Black women would say Black men who alter their natural texture by shaving off their hair, wearing du-rags, wearing toupees and using texturizers, pomades and wave caps are self-hating negropeans.
- Black women would have debates and create memes in social media on what Black men should do to their bodies.
- Black women would say the deadliest place for a Black person to be is to be between two young Black males.
- Black issues would only be Black women’s issues. Any focus on Black male issues would be dismissed as divide and conquer or the influence of liberal White supremacist movement.
- Instead of saving our sons we would only focus on saving our daughters.
- Black political and social institutions like the NAACP, the Urban League and religious organizations would be Black woman focused.
- We would be marching for Renisha McBride, Tarkia Wilson, Rekia Boyd, Kathryn Johnston, Yvette Smith and other Black women and ignore Travyon Martin, Jonathan Ferrell, Sean Bell, Darius Simmons and others.
- Black LGBTQ issues would only focus on Black women.
- We’d dismiss Black males by saying Black males have it easier because they are males living in a patriarchal society
- Black women would only study Black women intellectuals without having to consider the scholarship of Black males.
- Only a few Black male civil rights activists would be recognized. Black women like Septima Clark, Dorothy Height, Ella Baker, Claudette Colvin and other Black women you never heard of would have become wealthy from their efforts like their male counterparts have done.
- Black women would have supported Barack Obama with the same level of support Black males supported Shirley Chisholm and Carol Moseley Braun, which was little to none.
Next time you blame Black women for the ills of the Black community remember the women STAYED to raise you. Remember the women that gave you life. Remember how unselfish they have been. Thanks for reading.
I think this is a great article that really doesn’t do justice to how backwards our community really is. Black men have the utmost disrespect for their women and then get on social media sites talking about how they need a “good” woman who don’t act like all the other “ratchets” (black women) he’s been dating. This often leads to him CATERING to a white girl at some point. I am so glad that I am not the only one to witness the double standards, the belittlement, and the utter distaste that these boys have for their beautiful black Queens.
I really feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface. I didn’t really address violence. Thank you for reading.
And then dude will end up with a White, Asian, Hispanic etc. who is all the things that he says he doesn’t like in BW or at least the types he keeps coming across instead of looking at himself. If he keeps finding that he keeps meeting so called hoodrats then there is a common denominator and it’s not BW nor any woman of any race. Guess who it is.
Great Article, because of the black men failure to take responsibilities for his own mishaps this is the reason why he will remain the most powerless man on earth. Many of these black men are such cowards that instead of facing the “white man” who they claim created their obstacles they would rather bully black women. These men are pathetic to me and they only way they can cope with their failures and the powerless social status as men is to abuse the Black woman by attacking our very Essence. These men are worthless.
As long as they blame others they will never have power over themselves.
Excellent writing of course. I am so tired of BM’s delusions and denial that I go the satirical route. I was there when hiphop was created and watched it go from a family friendly art form to the closeted gay, colorist and BW hating “music” in 2014. 30 years of hate music, created by BM who still bitch about the slave master ….while kiss the butt of the slave master’s daughter.
Most, not all BM seriously don’t give a damn about BW and the feeling is quite mutual. Too many BW are Capital Save A Bro when the favor is never returned.
Yes Black USA is backwards. And I look at it over my shoulder, thankful I got out decades ago. There is a big world out there billions of men why bother protecting and defending cold blooded coddled mamas boys who are only loyal to their Bros and the slave master’s daughter.
If Black women treated Black men the way they treated us sans the colorism I believe we would be better off. Skin color loyalty died long ago when Black men thought it was OK to call us out of our name in the name of entertainment.
Sound of crickets from JEROME. If this was a blog about how BW seriously need to stop giving skin folks passes in the dating arena, Bros would be up in here talking about bed wenches and sell outs (kanye? lil wayne? mike jordan, ice t??) but when the truth is presented that they VOLUNTARILY choose to SELL OUT BW …sound of crickets. One or two may limp over talking that same old dysfunctional claptrap about the WM as they are steadily trying to ride his jockstrap and steal his women.
“If Black women treated Black men the way they treated us sans the colorism I believe we would be better off.”
I’ve been saying this! Black women who do not have the unhealthy attachment to black men that so many black women have tend to have better life outcomes. Higher incomes, lower divorce rates, better self-esteem, more healthy relationships with people outside of “black communities.”
Check out this excellent analysis by a biracial man who is the son of a black woman/white man married couple:
He says it all!
The truth is that black men need black women more than the other way around whether most black people want to acknowledge it. Yet, black women continue to aid and abet anti-BW black men, and cry about BM “abandoning” BW. BM don’t have anything worth holding on to at all. BM are sub-par men period.
BW like me who realize this experience a mental freedom unknown to the masses of BW.
To my fellow BW: you hold the key to your own future. You can choose to feed the anti-BW black men, or cast them aside and let them starve to death if they can’t survive on your own. Think about the future of your children, and especially your daughters.
I say we give them exactly what they give us, colorism included. I think all BW that aren’t blind and stupid should do everything on your list - even taking pains to get into positions of power so we can change music, TV, film, literature and art. There’s so much more I could say! But I’ll leave it at this. Great article and site.
Oh, and here’s a website featuring BW who have taken the best route when it comes to dating and marriage: http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/
Now all we need (myself included since my fiance is a curly-haired Frenchman I met on vacation 2 years ago, bragitup!) is advice on how to combat all the flack we interracial BW get in the USA from angry black men who are enraged that we are now removed from their pool of women to have sex with (though they never would have approached us anyway), jealous non-black women who are enraged that a non-Black man dare be attracted to and in love with us, and crazy BW who aren’t the kind that support sites like this and http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/. It’s so extremely unfair and wrong that I am sometimes harassed and heckled because I’m a beautiful BW sharing mutual love with a handsome WM - sometimes even by BM who are with non-Black women or BM toting biracial kids! A BM with half-Chinese toddlers (the woman was nowhere in sight) once shouted at me “Stay in your place! You can’t do it like we do it!”
So an article on how to combat this with words and non-violent actions would be great. Final thought: WATCH SLEEPY HOLLOW! It’s a BW-WM show and even though they aren’t dating, they are the stars of the show and the producers might give in to the fan pressure I’ve been hearing about and have them get together romantically. But it’s a great show when they aren’t making uncomfortable, slightly insulting references so we definitely have to keep it on the air.
Two words: THANK YOU!
(FINALLY I’m not the only one saying this! )
From all of us…. THANK YOU!!!!
Thank you!! Finally.
Good points. I made some of them in my StarLeader Guide! when talking about how black fathers are glorified for doing what any father should do.
You really should read The Manipulated Man, by Esther Villar.
A lot of brothers are going to be in their feelings with this one but this is a great post
Really? This is extremely short sided and divisive. Since when is answering juvenile, sophomoric and sociological ethnic self hatred with the same a productive measure? Is there truth to this “treatise”? Of course there is but to offer this as a panacea or truthful representation of “BLACK Men” is disheartening to say the least. There are parts to this “article” that are beyond pale.
I am loath to point them out, for fear that there are those who will focus on that rather than my overall point. Interracial dating… so no Black Woman has ever made those same comments and engaged in the exact same behavior? The idea of Black Men Raising Black boys… I’ve heard that criticism raised as a diametric point to the one offered here as a negative.
So, my point? is that we need to stop engaging in this spurious conversation as a whole. BLACK WOMEN are not to blame and neither are BLACK MEN! Not ever Black woman is >>fill in the blank<< and should not be judged as such… neither should every black man!
Rob, did you purposely ignore the fact that this entire post was hypothetical? No one was advocating treating Black men the way the overwhelming number of you treat Black women (whether or not you choose to believe it).
Just to let you know: coming here to talk about how “short-sighted (not short sided) and divisive” this post is, how you’re not all like that, and how parts of this are “beyond the pale”, instead of going to Black men and telling them to wake up and do better, makes you part of the problem. Stop trying to pretend this is not what a large majority of Black women experience just because YOU might not engage in these behaviors.
First of all, please accept my apologies for any perceived lack of respect for the author or the content. Further, whatever motivated you to respond in such an ad hominem, please accept my apologies for that as well. I have no intention of placing myself at odds. That being said, I am fully aware of the notional nature of the article and stand by thesis.
The blanket condemnation of BLACK-men is counter-productive and little more than a shibboleth. I have heard Black Men level the same negative accusations about Black Women, as those outlined in this “notional article”. Hence my rejection of the basic premise as a whole. Are you telling me that no Black Woman has ever written a book, paper or thesis on “why black men are dating outsider the race?”
Your ad hominem response, respectfully, shows you as “part of the problem”. I am seeking to change the dialog through open and understanding conversation. Just because you find some part of my response to oppose your view, doesn’t require such a visceral and acidic response. I will not, under any circumstance return the favor, as such. I respect you as a person and a woman.
I would like to leave you with this… Does being BLACK make one more prone to any particular behavior as it relates to relationships and interaction with the opposite sex? If you hold that BLACK is an inherent ingredient, one should consider whether or not they are culturally racist/biased.bigoted.
The black women in BWE circles already do most of the things you’re talking about in how they treat Black men. In fact, black men have been slandered by black female authors, in film and now online publications for decades. Of course, black men are going to return the favor when they get the opportunity. Then, black women are going to return their favor when they get the chance. That’s why the relationship between black men and black women really is irreparable. I don’t want to date someone who is looking for me to slip up. Unfortunately, that’s what black men and black women are looking for when they interact these days.
Can we talk about this? And lets not even talk about how Black feminism is blamed for the entire destruction of the black community and the black family…..NO, forget about white supremacy, black patriarchy/misogyny, and the social-psychological side-effects of slavery….LETS Blame the incompetent Black women and especially those feminist who seek to empower her.
Homophobic sexist Black men who parade as “Conscious Brothers” and “Black Kings” constantly blame the Black woman for homosexuality, single-parent homes, and pregnancies out of wed-lock, but they take NOOOO ACCOUNTABILITY for their hatred of their own women, their lack of commitment to being a father and building a family, their subjugation and objectification of the Black woman’s body and sexuality for their own gain (i.e. pimp culture, and hip-hop), and their color struck ideals and their manifest-jungle fever destiny.
I am so done for being Blamed for the triflin actions of Black men. All we have done is given everything we have to these boys, even our own bodies, dignity, wombs, support, and respect….and not only are we not good enough, but we are to blame!
I’ll be damned if these misogynistic/sexist/color-struck/homophobic black men try to blame me for giving birth to them.
“All we have done is given everything we have to these boys, even our own bodies, dignity, wombs, support, and respect….and not only are we not good enough, but we are to blame!
I’ll be damned if these misogynistic/sexist/color-struck/homophobic black men try to blame me for giving birth to them.”
EXACTLY! There is nothing black women can do to change these sub-par men. That way of thinking is where black women first went wrong. The more you compromise yourself to suit them, the more they despise you. I believe that nature nudges us towards correctives for our self-destructive behaviors. If these black men think so low of black women, the only recourse is to leave them alone and stop producing their children. Then nature will resume balance over time. This is common sense and only black women lacking in self-respect will not heed this advice.
Which is sadly the MAJORITY of black women who seem to not want to move past BM.
Amen to all of this! Every single sentence.
I don’t even know what to say, this made things so much earies!
The greatest tragedy of Black America and the African diaspora is our long tradition of sacrificing and diluting (killing our own black mother off) to appease our various oppressors as we strive to ‘lighten up’ and become exact replicas of those oppressors.
I have lived in America off and on for over 35 years and the level of hatred and “non-caring” directed at Black women by Black men is nothing less than shocking, abnormal and evil. In this country, Black women are told in every way imaginable: “We don’t care about your feelings,” “We wish you didn’t exist,” “You are not good enough” and “We PREFER not to love you.”
I can’t be silent about it and I can’t, as an African mother, co-sign it just because I myself have a good husband and a happy family. Few black women are in my position. The NATIONWIDE condition and psychological and emotional suffering of Black American women and girls is like a virtual holocaust.
And without the Black American woman….Black America cannot survive. You’re going to end up as trifling and pathetic as the nearly extinct Native Americans. And I fully blame the Black American Man for this endemic erasure; this holocaust in Black America.
You know what? Less than 10% of white folk owned slaves. But the vast majority of the other 90 % enjoyed slavery JUST FINE because it allowed them to be higher status than somebody else ….being starved out by the white rich, but AT LEAST they were white and entitled to eat better dirt than the black slaves.
I feel like A LOT of black men and a large percentage of black women are the same way in that 90% ( or 60%) aren’t doing the things on the list but ARE Pseudo-PROFITING in some way that’s harder to see. Higher status by gender is harder to see but it’s a heck of a lot more divisive. The superiority executed ignored and enjoyed, just like today’s white supremacy, is worse because it is INTERNAL TO OUR RACE.
What is worse is that there is NOTHING LIKE a united front among black women to combat this nonsense. There is such a GOOD STRONG (feminist leaning/equality leaning) man shortage that a percentage of black women are quick to jump to some loser’s defense first in hopes of being seen as a “good sistah race woman” at her own expense. How are WE as women to confront,silently passive aggressive men who only PRETEND TO NOT SEE other men who act out this list WHO are only SLIGHTLY better than the poor whites in the days of slavery, if we can’t get black women to be on their own side?
I SERIOUSLY doubt I can get 20 percent of NON FEMINIST women to even read this entire list…much less recognize it for the truth it represents.
Black women have a love shortage as a group. That makes a large percentage of us act in desperate ways. Some women let themselves be used despicably then refuse to admit that they bent their minds and cut off sections of it from oxygen because they were lonely.
They agree with men who hate themselves via hating black women in order to be accepted. Internalized racism hasn’t got ONE THING on internalized sexism. That’s for sure.
[…] eaten whole, no questions asked, no critical thinking required. Black women are the devil, and the source of all ills in the community. One man said frankly, “Talking about black women gets you page views.” Is this going […]
It’s very interesting how Black Women cosign with any negativity aimed at Black Men. Black men has been on the receiving end of slandering, degradation, & emasculation for the past decades! Stop playing innocent!
Black men think we all want them when the truth is, why would we even want black men when we have WHITE MEN who can provide and protect us? Our men don’t get on youtube and make thousands of videos calling us ugly. Only black men do that so women in general don’t want black men.
This pure, up-and-down blaming the black women for everything that goes on among black people obviously started from way back then and the idiots them are still carrying on with that ‘blame her for everything’ foolishness even now! Men traditionally do the chasing and pursuing of women in every culture in the world so how is anyone going to say that it ‘it’s HER fault’ all the time? I’ll tell you why, it’s just because they see a black woman so it MUST be her fault only.
I know and read about the wickedness of white people back then who lynched black men and black women enough times already and when it comes to the situations when black women were lynched in some of those situations it was because the black man relative that she had the whites came around and were looking for had long escaped or in hiding or someone was hiding him and the white people got angry and took the black man’s black woman relative up instead and lynched her in his place to appease their pogrom-causing anger and probably because they thought she was lying and hiding the black man and who knows maybe some of these black women DID lie to protect and keep black male family members in hiding and alive and they knew that they would die for it. Maybe they went to their quick, unjustified and terrible deaths knowing they would die for their relatives and still did that anyway….And then black people since that time would DARE open their mouths to blame all the black women and even black girls for all of their ills after all of that?! Reprehensible beyond belief I’m telling you….
Sadly, the bigger picture isn’t still being spoke of. We know there is cognitive dissonance, and lots of it. The main un-addressed issue in my opinion is personal accountability. It seems that everyone is expecting loyalty, however loyalty was stripped from us and left in Africa. We have embraced a culture, that suppresses the Spiritual consciousness, and turns us into Sheepple. We as woman can’t expect anyone to change but ourselves. We have to stop reaching down to love our sons, but push our daughters up so they can excel. If we stop babying our MEN, and hold them accountable for the BS, we would be viewed by all, including ourselves in a different light. We have to change the vibrational level we radiate on. It is clear that what has been done; doesn’t work. We have to change the playing field, in order to gain self respect and dignity. Self love is the only way, we need solutions. Does any one have any????
Honest introspection, learning how to set boundaries and keep them set and respect others boundaries and therapy would be a good start as well as learning to say no to family and friends sometimes (and in some horrible cases, all the time!). So would creation of many streams of media by one’s self instead of waiting for or relying on everybody’s media to reflect your image so that black daughters of the future can grow up seeing images of black women and girls that reflect different skin tones, body types, socio-economic levels, cultures, personalities and complexities thereby showing the nuances instead of straight up monolithic ghetto-rrificness.
Silencing Tactic 101
See Bougie Black Girl, Musty Ox’s response is the type of literal ‘black hole in the universe sucking out even the light’ type of selfishness, self-absorption and self-centeredness that I was taking about where every hour of the day and within every context how people must only spend the time talking about the concerns, wants and needs of black men and black boys only but never spend even a lousy two minutes or even a few seconds in any day to talk about the concerns, wants and needs of black women and black girls.
I respectfully disagree with most of what was written. I don’t deny your experiences or the many of black women that have commented. I just have to say that I have experienced the opposite; however, in doing so, I also realize that our experiences are subjective to our day to day dealings. If this is what you experience then I feel horrible that it is. I am often aggravated by the constant bombardment of the fallible image of the black man that is constantly shown to us. I feel the same with the black woman too.
I do agree with points that touch on the basis of taking you serious. I feel a black woman deals with a less “pro-active” support from the male community when it is often expected in return. That I definitely agree on. When you point out the injustices that were publicized yet lacked the outcry of support that was shown in similar situations, it definitely hit home because I found myself pissed that this was happening ie. black women arrested for victimless crimes, killed while looking for help, when in racially reversed situations, white women get away with it… and yet the black man seemed not to be around to support (so I agree with you there… there is a level of recognition that needs to be present).
Where I do differ in opinion is my belief and maybe this is because of my experiences and what I see happen to most men I know, is that we unfortunately experience, through relationships, some of the ills that you speak of. We have the same issues and I think the true culprit (and you may laugh because it is one of your points) is the white man and the intentional division that has been placed in the black community. I feel it was done to separate the unity that we have and strength that develops from it, so what better way to do that than to turn us against ourselves…
I feel that the black women who feel this way, and the black males, need a sense of unity and vision of progression. I think we suffer on both ends and it is a perpetual cycle of the blame game with both sides being justified in in their arguments.
I can go on and on but I won’t. Thank you for this article, I enjoyed the read. I’d actually love to engage a conversation more often so I’m going to try to make it a point to be an avid listener, just know there are some of us out there… more than you think, that want nothing more than to listen to you and put a plan in motion…
Hello William- I must admit that I’m very weary of the odd black man coming to conversations like this to say:
1-there are black men who see the black woman’s trials , empathize & want to change things for the better.
-Stop observing & take action to change things, for the love of god! At this time this great herd of men are very noticeably quiet, therefore invisible & most importantly of no use to black women.
2-Yes, these issues are real, but it’s the white man’s fault. Colorism is the white man’s fault, fatherlessness is the white man’s fault, etc.
-If we know these things, and we ALL do, because we keep pointing it out, then the simple solution is to stop acting it out. STOP DOING IT, STOP REPEATING THE CYCLE, STOP PERPETUATING & MIMICKING behaviors we know come out of a racist system.
It’s all about taking action for positive reinforcement. It’s so simple.
When my nephew wets the bed & tells me it’s because the bathroom light was off, I say well you must turn the light on & don’t wait for those of us who dont need the light to turn it on for you.
Well i felt the same way i’m native but i feel like thigs jerks was annyoing to me cause i was like hey they use me as treasure just to hide me , is ridolius but point it’s i love black women
I thought that this was satire. In the (Entertainment) 2 & 4 I didn’t see but the rest was well represented in our culture. It depends on the age group of the woman with regards to whether she sees lighter skinned or darker skinned black men as attractive.
In Marriagability 4 & 5 were the only ones that I wouldn’t say is represented in our communities.
In Society and Culture 7, 13, 16, 17, 18 I don’t see happening but the rest are well established.
I see that as a people both sides still have a ton to cope with and deal with. There needs to be very real and hard discussions where we identify where these rooted issues truly come from. The enemy isn’t our black men or black women but the continuation of a system invented by the devil to subvert and strip a culture, while turning each on each other in perpetuation of that system.
Our women are angry because you’ve had to endure for so long. Our black men are angry because we’ve been denied our ability to be productive-positively and realize the place of respect that is deserving.
How about we use those inclusive skills we depend on in the workforce and elsewhere to merely develop a firm foundation built on mutual respect and common decency. If we can be civil and genuinely hospitable to any and every other culture, why not our own?
This wasn’t our reality of interaction 15 years ago and more.
Just saying… agreeing and disagreeing.
The truth is, it’s not my responsibility as a black woman to help repair or fix broken males. For this reason, I avoid males who display the characteristics and behaviors listed in the article.
Until we realize we as black men and black women are part of the whole and stop allowing ourselves to fall victim to the divisive propaganda being deployed into our consciousness to detract us from progession; by those who are well aware of our and the greatness that would ensue if we unanimously realize our value and the strength and potential in our unity and cohesiveness as black men and women. True black women are not the ememy but the saving grace of what is left out black communities and black pride. Black men are also victims in this race crippling manifestation of our own black on black race war that is no less debilitating than the attack and devaluing of our race by others. We both, men and women fail to realize that we are embracing views and perceptions purposely injected into our culture and ideals of identification of each other to circumvent us reveling in our greatness. We are not each others enemy and are each worthy of the others utmost respect and admiration as it is desperately needed to change our conditions and worldview.
I within the core of me understand
The life you live as a Black Man
The struggles and your strife
The difficulties that accompanies black life
The constant and consistently potent pain
The hindrances of greatness and gains
The plaguing assault of character
The dissemination of lies giving your life to myth
The presence of your life presented as unwanted gift
The assassinations and killed worthiness
The healthy serving of nothing feeding bitterness
The bruised ego leaving scabs of mental scars
The robbery of your life bearing prison bars
The shadow of doubt wherever you go
The unattended pain felt like a prized fighters blow
The lost direction and misguided guidance
The hope of chance lost to circumstance
The cluttered thoughts of emptiness
The self abandonment and loneliness
The beating down and berating insults
The attempts that pass failure as results
The disrespect and abuse confusing truths
The denial of your leadership extended in roots
The fear of living and longing to exist
The hand to mouth life that’s starved by closed fists
I within the core of me understand
Being as I am a Black Woman
From the book “Black Thoughts on White Paper”
And, this poem would have achieved all you advocate if you just would have included black woman at the beginning. None of what we are supposed to understand is unique to the black man. It is the black experience. When men understand that we suffer the same, then we will begin to heal as a community.
ATTENTION BLACK MEN: Let it go. Your voice is not going to be heard. You will be wrong here. Just understand this from the beginning. My suggestion to you is this: Go out and create something. Go forth and do something productive. Build something new. Be greater today than you were yesterday. Succeed. Conquer. Excel. Dominate. Exercise your will. WIN! Do something… anything other than arguing this point any further. Trust me, you’ll be better for it. Your brother, Uncontainable Spirit.
Your voice is all we hear. Maybe it would be helpful to listen and make a commitment to behave differently.
Such a beautiful article, I am very happy that you did this. Someone had to do it, and I think you did a splendid job….ungrateful as they can be.
Black males are worthless. Dont date them. Your life would be better without them. Honestly ask yourself what have you gained from having a relationship with a black man? What have you lost? I bet u lost more then u gained.
Maybe it’s just me, but a lot of what you posted does happen.
i think we could do better. Why treat them like they treat us in general. I say that is too much wasted energy. i say ignore the hell out of the ignorant ones and avoid the possible dangerous ones and move on to supporting a world we want to see and live in. Remember when organic was hard to find, but enough people supported and demanded it so now you can find organic foods at every major store. Well, we could do the same. Don’t support people black or other man or other that does not support and do good by you. We must learn to put us first and stop supporting those that don’t support us. We don’t need to give them any notice just stop doing and accepting less than what we deserve. Instead of saying I hope they like me we should say I hope I like them and make sure they have what we want in friends and loved ones before we engage them.
I get what the post is about just think that we as black women never need to even entertain less than quality from a man regardless of color.
The post is not a “too do.” It’s intended to make you think, and consider how things would look in the reverse. The fact that people want to stray away from this to discuss maintaining unity ignores the point. THAT BM TREAT BW LIKE SHIT. Period.
I don’t think black women, or men, take into account that black men haven’t been deemed attractive or marriageable either. They’ve been deemed “packing” and good at sex, not as ideal husbands or fathers, ever. Same thing for black women, were promiscuous not wives. So why do black women expect any different from them. Black men have been rejected by women of all races and still are unless they’re rich, on scholarship, or have athletic/occupational potential.
Obviously rap lyrics have gone from bad to worse, but seriously you’re going to complain about black men praising white women as sluts and not you? Why? Rap songs aren’t about falling in love and being a father, even if you’re jay z, your music is about sex, Money, and why you supposedly deserve your new out of the ghetto life.
My point is that black men and women as a whole are equally non desirable to certain people. That’s fine. There’s plenty of people black and white who find them attractive so why is this still a conversation?
“Black women would call Black male characters that sleep with nonBlack women race traitors. Black women would remind Black male fans that White women are the daughters of the slave masters whose word killed Emmitt Till and voted to let Trayvon’s murder walk free.”
Would they really be so wrong if they did, though?
Yes that would be wrong. Its wrong for black men to call black women race traitors and vice versa. You cant tell people who to be attracted to. Its not the daughters of the slave masters who sentenced emmett till to anything. Just like its not the daughters of the slaves responsibility to continue to live in slavery and not be with who they want because someone else doesnt like it. The majority of white people did not own slaves, the rich southerners did, not the whole damn population. For all you know, youre black female friend is dating the sin of a white abolotionist. You dont know. You cannot tell people who to love, like, or be attracted to, period.
Is this article about whats right for.humanity or whats right for certain black people. Im very confused.i get that black women want black men to see from their pov or whatever, but is this an accurate pov? Do you really see every black man with a white woman as with her because someone told him thats right and not cause thats what he wants? Is he wrong cause he didnt find the black woman.of his dreams? Thats racist, not him dating a white girl. If hes denied happiness cause you have a problem with his relationship that just sounds like seflishness and jealoust on your part, same for a black woman in the same boat. Cant she live?
Where in the post do you see anybody calling BM “race traitors”??? And despite “all white people not owning slaves”, white skinned people have and still do benefit from having it. Comments like the ones you are making deflect, and obscure accountability. If what you got from this post (and following comments) is that BW don’t like that BM are dating WW, then I think you might have missed the point, and I agree with POBW that there may be space better suited for you elsewhere.
Where in the post do you see anybody calling BM “race traitors”???
Apparently you found it, there is a direct quote in the marriageability section and its implied throughout.
And despite “all white people not owning slaves”, white skinned people have and still do benefit from having it. Comments like the ones you are making deflect, and obscure accountability.
If my comment takes away from the fact that 1% of the population benefits over the other 99 regardless of race, I think you may have missed something.
If what you got from this post (and following comments) is that BW don’t like that BM are dating WW
That isn’t what I got or what I said, especially since I was responding to a commenter and not the article.
I agree with POBW that there may be space better suited for you elsewhere.
You agree with a person who wasn’t talking to me so congrats. That person posted before I even got to the site…
Oh correction… Your “race traitor” comment just made sense. However, I still do not agreed with much of what you have said. Lastly, claims of reverse racism are inaccurate, because reverse racism doesn’t really exist. Here’s why:
And wow. I really don’t need a link to tell me reverse racism is stupid. What does that have to do with anything being said here anyway?
Oh correction… Your “race traitor” comment just made sense. However, I still do not agreed with much of what you have said.
Lastly, claims of reverse racism are inaccurate, because reverse racism doesn’t really exist. Here’s why:
#handsdown Light-skinned Black males usually have better credit than a dark-skinned male…Broke as dark nig**s…Lol. Dark skinned men take a punch @ da face better than light-skinned men…u soft as yellow boys…lol”
another dumbass hoe, trying to shame black men to make it seem like we the problem. if u tired of the “blame” that you claim you are getting, then how about yall own up to it and stop pretending like your being victimized, and stop trying to throw black men under the bus. dam female dogs make me sick. so tired of this crap.
and how exactly do we treat you? we treat you different from other women? if you acted decent ATLEAST once in a while, you might get somewhere. besides, black women are treated like queens, while they treat black men like shit. stop making an ass out of your self.
Articles like this is what digs us into a deeper hole. Its just riddled with “hypothetical” double standards (that I’m pretty sure a large handful of women will go out and actually act out) and falsities. There are plenty of things wrong with article, from “Black women would hypersexualize Black males by reducing them only to body parts” (black men are already seen as big d*** stallions only useful as a means to get you all pregnant), to the whole “black men don’t want to take care of their kids” (you’d be surprised how many black men actually want to take care of their kids, but legally can’t due to the fact that there’s an angry black woman who got upset and either tricked him into via lies about contraception and then uses the legal system to separate him from the offspring for a check. Or, you just kill the children all together as a means to get back at the father. I was just in the gym today with my barber and was a bit disgusted as he tells me how his MARRIED BLACK WIFE doesn’t really want him interacting with his 2 year old son much). You make slogans about atrocities towards women, such as “Bring Back Our Girls”, but fail to even mention the boys who where carelessly slaughtered and left. Black women generally say “the most beautiful thing is the world is a black woman giving birth, something no man can ever do and makes us the creator of life”, yet forget and even downplay that you’re just a wonderful woman…….full of eggs until a man gives you his seed. But oh right, nothing is beautiful about that when it involves a guy.
I grow tired of the whole “black women raised everyone, black women were the back bone of everything, black men have done nothing for the black woman or community” mindset. You have the audacity to really believe black men haven’t done anything for you!? Ever wondered why the Black Civil Rights movement that was spearheaded by BLACK MEN and was pretty much the highlight of black unity in USA, started to end around the 1950’s? That’s when feminism started to kick in. Coincidence!? I think not. I never could understand why taking care of home, the most important part of society, the place where were you retreat to after dealing with the harshness and bitterness of the world, would be deemed as “degrading” and just a low paying job. If you ask me, taking care of home is more important than doing something outside. You try so hard to be a man, for the sake of not being seen as used, weak, etc, that you forget how to be a woman to a man and see black men as the enemy.
Now I will agree with two vital parts. The black man generally has no back bone. Black women run rampant with estrogen filled articles such as this. But black men just don’t have the backbone to peacefully put you all in check. They’re too afraid with rocking the boat for fear of being emasculated, withheld from sex (largely that), arguments, etc. I didn’t read them all, but for the most part, whenever a guy on here said something women didn’t like, and got called out on it, first thing he does is apologize. If you can’t stand up against your women, how can you expect to stand up against the oppressive system.
Secondly, my counterpart, the black woman, is not the 100% main culprit and I will gladly go against anyone who says that. Hell yes, we men have our own faults and demons to deal with. As an African American male, I can tell you that first hand. But I’m not going to refrain, nor apologize, from calling you all out, something people seem to be afraid of. You do cause many hectic problems, but will never come to terms with it due to your own (notice how I’m not saying uniquely and only) lack of accountability.
Yea, we do need you black women. I have no shame in saying. But we don’t need this man-mimicking,woman rule the world, black men are nothing but trouble, I don’t need a black man attitude. You can’t play the victim card and not look at your own dirty hand. You’ve screwed black men over plenty of times also. So I say, we should either re-kindle as a race or just separate from each other until we can no longer deny are coexistence. I pray for the former.
If the black community was person back then black feminism/womanism would need to exist. Back then many black women were just as angry and miserable because black women’s problems went ignored. The civil rights movement was solely centered around black men, and a lot of the black men in it was very misogynistic and sexist towards black women. Women’s rights movements did not include black women, because white women were still white and viewed black people as animals, and everything was basically set in stone for white men.
Black women benefited from neither group back then or now. That’s why we created womanism, and place where we practice self love and focus on any and everything for black women and girls.
The reaction a lot of you brothas are having now, is similar to racists in a era of equality movements. The panic is nothing short of “Omg what if I’m on the receiving end!” It’s just you all being angry and bitter about it not being about YOU. The civil rights movement was about you, everything black was about satisfying you and the black community was rotting from the inside out because black women were miserable all along as our side was ignored.
Welcome to the house of karma.
@LadyA First and foremost, I acknowledge and respect your opinion
The civil rights movement was about us, hence why black families were closer than ever then. The main reason black women felt like they were mistreated as bad as you all say they were was because they were told by white feminist that basically “your man is an oppressive enemy” and to try and be like them (the white woman) because you deserve better. There probably was some times where men didn’t appreciate a woman’s work enough, and we apologize, but 1. It’s wasn’t as bad as you play it out to be and 2. You don’t really even give a black man much appreciation. Everything we do it’s “there was a strong black woman behind him whom without her, he couldn’t do what he did and is worthless”, and 3. Though it may not be as public, you women don’t have a perfect track record on how well you treat your counterpart, “equals” as they say.
BUT, who am I to say now. You basically got your wish. The patriarchy, at least in the black community is pretty much dead. Now women are running around making more net gain and therefore acting like the man to reverse gender roles, men are basically chastised and ridiculed for being and acting like men nowadays, any type of male pride movement is swiftly labelled as mysogonist and more than likely struck down, legal systems will openly support a black woman to destroy a black mans life, more black women feel like they can raise children by themselves only to raise only half a man or woman (without any outside influences/mentors of course).
I could go on, but I think you get the point. Welcome to chaos.
Oh God white feminists didn’t tell us a damn thing. Black women lived in a society that was racist and misogynistic, what did we look like being allies with racist white women who hated our guts? Black womanism/feminism has always existed, way before white feminist even said a thing. It existed because black women had no platform to speak out on, not in the black community which was patriarchal, sexist, and misogynistic, and not amongst white America which was racist, sexist, patriarchal and misogynistic.
I didn’t read the rest of your comment because you’re one of those Hotep/ankh black men who believes everything thrives through the phallus of the black man. As long as you all were happy and getting what you want, it was all made in the shade huh? WRONG. Many black women weren’t content back then, if social media existed back then you’d see the same complaints from black women. Matter fact a sista wrote an article from the 1960’s complaining about the same thing.
Lol. It’s been a year, and I see you’re still stuck in you’re anti black male mindset. Few things, one, im not that religious anymore. Christianity had to many questions for me. So im more spiritual than religious now. I tip toed into the ankh things, and though it wasn’t really for me, from what I saw it was completely the opposite of you speak of, basically matriarchal. And that’s not to invalidate what you may have seen, but don’t try and downplay what I’ve seen. Two, nowadays, you have plenty of spaces. Three, i can come to terms of the many flaws of black men, and move past blaming an entire race/gender without taking any sort of accountability. So, not only will start any type of debate or “oppression olympics”, I will also not accept your frustration and bitterness that you try to project on me. Take care and I wish you much growth.
[…] Tired of being the blame: What if Black Women Treated Black Men the Way They Treat Black Women […]
Wow, black men have and remain the single biggest traitors to our community and then get angry when they get called out, their only defence is to hurl more abuse on to the very people that bought them into this world and whom they are related to! It is up to all black women who are mothers, sisters and relatives of these men to call them out. Do not put up with their abuse, do not accept these preferred non black women they always seem to prefer to date/ yes you can fall in love with anyone but when your sons always seem to bring another non black woman home then you know the truth. I find that some black women collude in this behaviour of their black men, ignoring their constant disloyalty and the fact that these men hate their black womanness. Black women, you hold the key, don’t let them flatter you by telling you you’re ok cos you’re their mum but you can see they would never date anyone that looks remotely like you. Ever wondered why the black community is always at a disadvantage ? Because the men do not stand shoulder to shoulder with their women unlike other communities , they only seem to know when black women exist when they get beaten by the police, attacked by the system
In other ways…why do we continue to be loyal to these men who hate us so much. The black men who are true and loyal are there but they are being overshadowed by these significant proportion of the rest who are self hating black men and many if whom are more and more making their hatred if black women public…black women it’s time to say enough .,,
I totally forgot this even existed. It’s been a year now, and I could completely fill this page on how black women screw up things also. But I wont. Since a year ago, I’ve learned that all that will do will fuel more of the hatred between BM and BW, and that’s lame. So, if you can’t check yourself and take accountability for the flaws you have (you know, the same steps you have no problems forcing on others but rarely take yourselves as a whole) well, I just hope for the best. Otherwise, I wish much happiness and growth.
I completely concur with your comments! You’re “spot on”!
#12 is somewhat hypocritical considering the fact that the OP supports shows like scandal, the butler and other sterotypical protrayals of blacks. But decent read overall
You know I’ve reed the comments and have given this subject matter alot of though even before I reed this post and thanks for posting this. My view on this based in my own experinces and alot of the things I’ve seen blk women get out threw is this: this thing has to be an inside job! Meaning we can no longer expect,relie, depend or anstiapate own community to heal waiting on unhealthy disfunctional men. not all blk men are this way but sad to sad a good portion are. We as blk women need to turn now the focus on ourselfs and children fully and wholeheartedly for the betterment of our community. Those men who have given up and left for whatever reason were not going to help in the first place. There are givers and takers. Once we committ to improving ourselfs in every area of life and yes alot of us are going to need to see a theripist the more we will have to give to the build back up of what has been destroyed. Allow god to bring the right man whatever race he maybe and be open to it in his time not ours! I know we are tired and ain’t going to take it anymore so I leave you with this question why keep going to an empty well to get a cool drink of water?
Women - of any color - are better off without men most of the time. A man’s life force lingers in the lowest aspects of his nature, sexuality and emotional pain. Women find joy in life much more easily, and that is sad for him, but he is the only one who can decide to grow beyond his lower nature. He is the only one who can decide to be a happy person, spreading happiness to those around him. Few ever do because they define their worth by their sexuality, and cling to the extreme polarity of hyper-masculinity. Make a plan for you life that excludes husbands. No it is not the romantic stuff we were raised on, but none of them are that soulmate we really want, because they all care more about what their friends think of them, than what their women think of them - they always have. We need to stop looking to men for worth and redefine it for ourselves. Once we know our own true worth we can lovingly let them go and not miss them. And then we can be sisters to one another without the competition, and take lovers if we wish from a position of power, instead of need. And we will be free.
As a mentally sound AA human being, female, woman, and a single mother of an AA male by him seeing the struggles in this society his mother encountered due to racial programming and our tolerance to. He doesn’t take the attitude for his disseminations is because of the AA woman and mother. He must take the responsibility as a mature man; and, put 50% of the blame where he knows it should be placed. The other 50% upon his head as it should be due to the making of this country[USA], environment[lack in greatly educated and we have many with papers but lacks a good education], poverty [economics], religion[the Albinos means of control, especially, the Southern W. Angelicas [republicans and democrats], Anti-Black male - judicial system, politics and self.
I use the word “black male” because you are who you are and if that offense you as a male then grow-up by taking the responsibilities of your own household, family, community. Get up off your bellies as great AA men and take back your manhood and speak the truths regardless of the conditions of your environment. And, n all truths its not the AA females angrier or lack in being a mother for how can a child teach another child [I call it baby having baby for it is not like it were 200 years ago when it was the African grand mother after laboring taking of the Missus babies giving it nourishments and even though she was exhausted she knew her purposes and the survival as a woman, wife and mother,
She would trains her daughters in what is a mother. She created great men, then, and the crossover into 1940s through 2013 of the deaths of your resembles[maturity], such as, the Malcolm Xs, the Martin L. Kings, the Huey Newtons, the H. Rap Browns, the Stokley Carmichaels, G. the Washington Carvers, the Eldridge Cleaver, the Tupac Shukars and the many, many, more B. men [named and unnamed] who left a legacy of a BATTLE unto deaths. Even though with the negative rhetoric from the media and sometimes their own did not hinder or prevent them in their goal for Justice, Peace, Equality[some wanted separate but…!!!, Economically[wealth] and Change now [65 plus years ago] among the AA community.
Did you know that there are communities rising daily by immigrants[who are from ALL countries] in this country who are 100% anti-Black; and they are small but wealthy.. Then, what is the B. male issue; and when is he going to become an adult? He only feel powerful under the guidance and approval of the W. female. Personally, I evisionalize, that one day all this would be over but not forgotten and that history shall repeat itself in USA.
They are silently and clandestinely rising against that word integration in which until they get their economic wealth the smile and laugh in your faces and under-minded the B. males and females psychological issues which is why this generation need to know who he is before he get into the pennies. Look at the Lil Weasels, Tyreses, Jamie Foxxes, Eddie and Charlie Murphys, Kanye Wests, Sean Combs[Personally, I am waiting for him to make reference to his blackness and the racist system that is if he doesn’t payoff. And, if you notice that Jennifer Lopez can’t be seen and she who was on his arm a few weeks ago and they were suppose to back together. Where is she? She is not going to allow his immaturity and craziness to hinder her American dreams.], Scotty Pennins Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordon [He’s plus 5ish.], just a few B. males who ringing in riches but refuses to confront the issues of AA of today.] Oops! Jamey Foxx contributes money, and sometime half way give a response but he is often laughed at because he goes home to the invisible Massa who stands there monitoring his actions, in lieu, his daughter, the W. female.
What the AA must do, whether or not some AA males ever love the B. female, clandestinely come together of the intellects and begin to group[organize without those other people] all over this country bringing dreams of ideas, thus, create an agenda harmony, gradually cohesively a healing of unity, document and discuss those issues and I will emphasize, self-worthiness, honor in how one address self, knowledge of who we are as a people if Africanism and not wonder or worry about the other %, education, education and more education and sharing in our homes with our families at a very early age; and, neighborhood elders like, Miss Blanche or Mr. Tom and listen to tales or stories during their times and of course, many can recall old stories another elderly have shared to give “slavery in American and the atrocities”, that significantly affects AA as a people in the USA. [As does every culture are doing, Asians, Latinos, and other non-Blacks who was not forced in physical and mental slavery].
Why are the lives of AA people in the USA is very moot? Who are guilty Ones. Look around you, AA who know the history and who are not frigid in themselves. I don’t care what the twist of American pass-on to who the Natives. The consequences in who was forced to build America. And, those nay-Sayers meaning those who immigrated to North America were never ostracized and the use of brutality then or continuous into the 21st Century that is imposed on the AA slaves in 2015 by these same off- springs invaded due to their need to control.
Since Barack Obama has been in the house the definition of who is Black and where I belong culturally and identity the need after all these years after you have profited from the struggles of true AA. You cowardly, hypothesis, and mitigated collaboration gains to one day disown AA. But those South America and other nations are basically the same “AFRICANS SLAVES” who was dumped into one bucket with an accent from those who dominated you. [the French, Spanish, Africa, European].
You youth whose’ reference of the elderly AA as softies, senile, old, Uncle Tomish because this name can apply today but in our days we were qualified, able to tolerate the tasks, and some of us are here today to see the conditions still here;; and has not changed. You just have been presented with a give away such as, the barter system to be bamboozled.
What is hate? An extreme passion. And, why the so-called White male has this passion toward the B. male, especially, of all cultures?
We should all be able to date whoever we want, but immature dismissal of one’s background and dating for class advantage/exoticism are disgusting motivations. Be with someone because you love them and be honest and accurate in your representation of yourself. Institutionalized inequality cannot be ignored in this, though.
I traversed the list. I found I don’t do any of these things. I find, in general Black women presume I either do theses things or sympathize with those that do. This is part of my frustration.
…..I’m not entirely sure how well my statement will be viewed, however, I too wonder why Bkack men hate us so much and I have come to understand that it’s themselves they really hate, they want and idolise light or white women so they can feel more accepted in society and that their off spring are of a lighter “more tolerable” shade!!! It was never us, it was always them!
The bit I feel you may all be apposed to is this: I feel utterly delighted when I see our black sisters venturing out to other nationalities to have relationships! For far too long, we have sat on the shelves collecting dust! Especially my darker skin friends!….every excuse is made, black women are too THIS or too THAT!! I’m sick of it, the only thing we are too any thing of is NICE,KIND,SRONG,LOVING,MOTHERING……need I go on! Their attitudes are all apart of the divid and conquer! Well done black men for keeping the rubbish alive!!
If you want to love light or white women’s, please do so freely but please leave us alone! Don’t make excuses for your short comings, just do what your doing without bashing us!
Black woman are finding love and happiness in different sectors, who appreciate our sister locks, skin, tones, agelessness…. Etc…
Well many women are certainly to BLAME why many nice men like us are still SINGLE today since the women now are NOTHING at all like the Real Good old fashioned were.
I guess perspective is everything because as a black male I already fill like most of these things are done by some black women.
So now we both sit on the other side of one another doing the same things to one another and disagreeing about who started throwing shots first and slowly bringing more innocent black men and women into the “war” as we hold all who happen to be black men or black women responsible for the attacks from the other side.
Truthfully all of us who have ever joined in at any point even by posing a hypothetical attack like this or in these comments are partly responsible.
p.s. sorely in need of an edit button for typos.
Why can’t we just do everything on this list then? To get rid of the dark black male? I mean, why do we have to talk about getting rid of then, why can’t we actually just get rid of them? I would LOVE to see more mixed men with blue eyes and such, like actors Michael Early or Frank Dillane on the cover of black women’s magazines. Why is always Djimon Hounson type black men on our covers, and them on the covers of Black Men magazine, it’s white & Puerto Rican girls? No dark women anywhere.
Why can’t we as black women just stop putting these dark men on covers just like they have done to dark black women? Are you scared of black men or something? Are black women afraid of them? They might hurt you if you take the dark black man’s picture down? Be honest.
i don’t date black women because I feel like black women don’t give a fuck about that’s how it always been for me my entire life. You might say I gave up but I refuse to keep going where Im not wanted and treated like shit. Not to mention Women of other races always treated me 1 billion times better then black women. But I use to cut them off because I wanted to only marry black women. I basically didn’t choose people that were clearly good for me because I wanted to be with a black when every last one of them always treated me like shit
You all sound like a bunch of confused fools. This is coming from someone who is most likely younger than all of you. Most of you need to keep your mouth shut about gender relations within the black community. We are in no shape to determine anything in our current condition. Its like judging a lions hunting ability after releasing him from a zoo. If you want to be a race traitor so be it. But to generalize black men based on a few celebrities (Kanye, Holly Berry) Blah, Blah.. Is extremely pathetic, I would be wrong to call you women adults with such elementary logic. You know we love you. You shouldn’t allow the 90s to lead you to so much despair. Also, the comments degrading black manhood is laughable. We face the same challenges you do in a racists society. Choosing to betray us DELIBERATELY, is the most pathetic logic, void, self destructive logic I have ever heard of. Show me a strong race of people, and I will show you a loyal woman. I’m loyal to you, and I love it. Especially when we are faced with traitors.. Bitterness is no way to determine anything.
But I do you as black women ever consider our pain. I consider yours. Consider how much harder we have to work, the uncertainty of our lives. We would just like to be able to come home to you, without the stress, bitterness, and attitude.. just the feminine energy.
It just doesn’t make sense to me. I understand that there are bad apples. Maybe you just haven’t approached that black man who is always nice to you. Isn’t thirsty and after every girl. Try that brother out for once. Not me though, I got mine… lol
Peace onto all of you.. I read some really hrutful stuff here.. Like forreal it breaks my heart that there are black women out here thinking like this..
Ladies, white men are where it’s at. They’re kinder, they’re definitely smarter, they treat you better, and they’re more skilled in bed. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is being with who not only can have sex differently than a jackhammer but are intensely oral. You do the math. We all know how black men hate oral sex unless it’s with a white woman.
White guys are also fascinated by our hair whether natural, straight, or anything in between. Literally fascinated by it. I’ve dated them my whole life and will never look back. You do not need black men at all.
Let em have Fat Becky. Chad is in shape and very interested in us, and if you read the red pill, Chad CANNOT STAND Becky anymore.
That’s something else we and white men have in common. We can’t stand the opposite gender of our own kind, and in each case with good reason!
Let nutty lazy criminal Mandingo have fake, nasty, two faced, materialistic Becky. Their children will wind up in orphanages and die in poverty. We black women could warn white women, but lol… Why should we?
They deserve each other. Stand back, choose your white guy, and pop some popcorn and laugh with him at them. They’re both idiots and our star has risen.
Time for swirl!
And Richard, don’t complain about us so-called abandoning you. This is just black men’s Karma finally catching up with you. As a woman of color who enthusiastically dates white men and always has, I am very happy to break your heart. Feast on it. I put black men’s tears in my cocoa. Trust me when I say many more black women will soon be drinking them right beside me.
Good luck with the police. As far as I’m concerned, you’ll face them alone. 🙂