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Yesterday I was cruising the Facebook mean streets when I saw a video of a young woman rejecting a man’s advances when he was following her. This is the version floating around on social media.
I see nothing wrong with it. Like I said before, it is obvious she is being followed and being followed by a stranger is scary. You would think that people would agree with how she handled it. Wrong! But let’s step back for a second. The video was short, without context, and everyone sees things through the lens of their perspective. So people have different opinions and may disagree with me. That is fine, but what shocked me was the violence within the comments.
She was called all kinds of b’s. Some people were questioning her attractiveness, which is ironic because she is being followed because of it. Other commenters were more worried about her putting him “on blast” rather than focusing on her safety.
But this comment took it to another level.
Oh, and the person who said it was a Black woman.
There were a few who said what he was doing to her was wrong. But they were quickly shot down by you guessed it. The lady who said she would have punched her.
Horrific isn’t it? You would have thought she cursed the man out, but she didn’t. These violent reactions were simply because let the individual know she was not interested.
What the commenters didn’t know was that they were watching a very small portion of video without the entire context. Here is the longer and unedited version. Watch at the 1:36 mark to the 3:52 mark.
No wonder she rejected him. She did not know the man. He obviously isn’t versed in social cues, and he followed her from outside inside the store. If someone you didn’t know followed you from outside inside a building and couldn’t take a hint that you’re not interested, you’d be creeped out too! Her reaction was correct, the men who followed her were scary and the commentors comments were vile, disgusting and frightening. I hope the person who created the video without context and those who called her every name but the child of god apologize to her because they were wrong.
Read: My and probably your experience with street harassment
Here are some things you may not want to hear.
Some of you think saying hello back means women are interested. NOPE! We are taught to be polite so saying hello comes naturally. Notice when she said “I am too nice” after she said hello back because she realized the man took it as a cue to follow her. This sadly happens to women all the time.
Next, he is not entitled to her attention, name or phone number. No man or woman is. There is no legal or even moral law that says she has to pay attention to him. If that notion is too much for you, you have entitlement issues.
Stop making excuses for this behavior. Stop believing men are uncontrollable horny beast ready to stalk and then pounce on its prey. They are not. I’ve seen people mention that God made men this way or if she wasn’t so attractive men wouldn’t approach her. Men are loving, kind and civilized human beings who are fully capable of controlling their emotions. If you think so little of men or even yourself perhaps you need to psychological help.
Finally, people need to stop thinking being a Black woman makes Black women community property to be harassed and stalked. We are human. Humans, including Black women have boundaries, and we are entitled to enforce them.
I want you ask you a question. If still this behavior is OK to you, imagine if a strange man was following your mother, sister, cousin or daughter. How would you honestly feel?
I have another question for those who believe that they stalk and harass Black women because they admire or love us. If you love Black women wouldn’t you want to protect Black women instead of hurting Black women? Wouldn’t you want to protect our space and bodies instead of violating them? Malcolm X said, “The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected woman in America is the Black woman” and he was right. The harassment, stalking and violence directed towards Black women for simply saying no is proof of it. You can end it by treating all women with respect and valuing our spaces and boundaries.
In memory of Mary Spears and women who were harmed or killed because of street harassment.
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I too read the nasty comments these ppl were posting. I even got attacked (verbally ) for saying this is the reason why I won’t date SOME black men. I think this comes from the boys will be boys perception of raising boys. Especially among our race. What young black girls face is appalling and sad
It’s heart breaking that an oppressed group seeks to oppress and humiliate their own because they feel powerless.
It sure is.
Let’s also keep in mind that all of this occurred at 3am. She had every right to feel unnerved by being followed, especially at that hour. The comments and reactions suggesting violence are the product of some Black women feeling the need to coddle Black men and excuse and insulate their inappropriate behavior. It’s unfortunate.
YES!!
THANK YOU!!!
I don’t call it harass and stalk. He was polite. Black women do have a chip on their shoulders now a days and are unapproachable. I do blame black men because there was a period where they would curse you out and call you out your name if their advances were rejtight but two wrongs don’t make a right. Now BM hardly approach BW at all because black women have become mean and nasty with their response. When she said “I don’t have a name, that she was some sort of serial killer” that was uncalled for and made her appear stuck up and condescending making him feel small. There is a way to do this. When a man approaches you, take the romance, potential date, etc out of the encounter, smile, and say it’s ok, have a nice day, peace, he’ll get the message. No need to be nasty. That’s it.
The only one who seems to have a chip on their shoulder is you and it is against Black women. She didn’t know this man from a whole in the wall. It was 3:00 am and he was following her and you expect her to be nice? Would you want someone to follow you This isn’t romance. Raise your standards if you think this is. This is harassment.
I don’t have a chip on my shoulder I’m just noticing a terrible trend where BM say BW are unapproachable and that WM are more approachable, they smile more. They are not nasty and mean rejecting advances. There might be something to that. I missed that it was 3am I wouldn’t be so nice either but the overall issue should not be ignored. I wish BM and BW would get the big picture of how racism has affected us. and make us turn on each other. We all bear some responsibility. What’s never discussed is how BW are adversely affected by being raised in single parent households and how this affects their reactions to men and society at large. BM are very bitter toward the BW and don’t take rejection to well but you don’t have to have a degree in psychology to figure out why. Do not give up on each other.
Bottom line: In situations like this, I don’t care what time of day or night it is or whether it’s sunny or a blizzard, no black woman owes a random black man her time, attention, focus, or even the general freaking courtesy of a response. I don’t care how “nice” he was, he is not entitled to invade the space of a black woman. The things you said serve as a way to deny black women their full humanity as beings who SHOULD have complete autonomy over who they choose to respond to and in what way. No other race of women born in this country are discouraged from exercising their right to choose who they will interact with as black women are…and by another black woman at that. I wonder how many black men would speak up for you if you were in a similar situation and he had physically assaulted you. My money says very few, if any at all. But ma’am, you cape-on.
Unlike you, I am not pro-black because pro-black means pro-black male which in this dysfunctional community means anti-black female. I am pro-me and pro-mine.
Pro-me and pro-mine that therein lays one side of this problem. Where is the spirituality. The creator made your smile not for you but for someone else to see. Of course you don’t smile all the time but return evil for evil to no one. What would you teach your daughter. What about the concept of being neighborly. I’m walking down the street in NYC and a guy trying to holla at me - it’s simple, while continuing to walk, you give a light hearted acknowledgement if it’s a compliment don’t get mad say thank you while walking. If he is persistent, keep walking and gesture a peace sign with your hands. Guys never get angry at that respectful response. If you are cursed out don’t take it personally. He got issues and that’s that. End of story
What’s never discussed is how BW are adversely affected by being raised in single parent households and how this affects their reactions to men and society at large.
This sounds very much like blaming the victim. I was raised with two parents and I think this culture of men ‘hollering’ at women is crass and vulgar. A woman isn’t ‘damaged product of a fatherless household’ because she doesn’t want to be catcalled and “Hey Ma’d’ on the street.
In fact, I find the women who find this behavior appalling often have strong relationships with their fathers. White women may smile more because on some level they know their whiteness will keep them safe. We don’t have that protection. We kmow any smile at a dude on the street can be used to say we ‘wanted it’, whatever happens next.
The best position for a man to be in concerning this situation, is keeping to himself. The best way to respect this young woman is at a distance. Don’t say anything to her, not even hello or good bye.
You got to be kidding me. If a man sees a woman he is attracted to ……should he just never say hello? she he never try and approach? I did not see anything wrong with what he did. This is the reason why you see so many black men either 1.) going to another race or 2.) Saying ignorant disrespectful things ……because being a polite person saying hello and whats your name is considered STALKER - ISH……..come on now
I see a lot of bitterness and hurt and taking it out on all black men just the way black men take out their frustrations on black women. I’ve been disrespected while being approached but I don’t take it personally and never will I ever be disrespectful in return to someone else because of my past experiences. It’s like bringing baggage to a new encounter. This is what Black folks are doing today. Sad.
The best position for a man to be in is to just go shopping and go home. Don’t say hello and don’t say goodbye!! Problem solved. You would not have anybody accusing you or calling the cops on you for saying “Hello”!
That would be all well and good, if the man left it at simply “hello”. But anyone with a third of a brain can see that his behavior falls outside the realm of politeness. A person would have to have an incredibly weak ego to get so bent out of shape just because somebody doesn’t give him the time of day.
linda,
I mean like not saying anything at all!!
NOT saying “hello” should be the recommended course of action for anyone who doesn’t understand personal space and boundaries, like the man in the video.
Check this out. There was one time that I was cursed out by a woman because she got mad that I did not want to date her. She approached me.On top of that she had five kids and was legally separated. I told her that I did not believe in legal separation, you are either married or you are not. Just because I did not give into her or pursued her, she got very irate with me in the work place.Crazy people come in either gender!
I don’t like Black males when it comes to romance or dating. Their actions turn me off and I am not attracted to them. I express interest in the non Black men that I find attractive such as White American, Hispanic and Asian men on and offline and these Black males get angry for some reason. I never understood why because I don’t care for Black males. I want to seriously seek out non Black men to date seriously in peace, without a Negro interfering.
“I don’t like Black males when it comes to romance or dating. Their actions turn me off and I am not attracted to them.”
So we’re all guilty because of the actions of jerkwads like this guy in the video? Other than that insinuation I don’t even see how your comment is relevant to this discussion. If you don’t like black men, avoid them. Don’t use this incident as a reason to demonize us.
That’s a good thing you don’t date black men, because that will save them from child support, a messed up retirement, alimony payments, losing their kids, break up of the family, going to jail, and indebtedness.
Either video you watch I don’t think she was wrong. I agree, people need to stop acting like women are obligated to give our time. After watching the full video though it’s clear he wasn’t polite at all. Following someone is just wrong. She said hello to him and had she been interested in further conversation she probably would have stopped. Those responses are disgusting and for the record, they don’t always get the message when you’re nice. There are times where they think your niceness in rejection is playing hard to get or some other stupid idea. I’ve been harassed and after nicely rejecting I’ve been followed until I just ended up ignoring the person. Most recently, a guy followed me out of a store to my car after I politely rejected him. I guess I’m the a-hole for hurrying to lock my door and just driving away. Some guys will not take the hint and she did the right thing going into a well lit area after noticing he was following her and not giving her name.
THANK YOU!!!
Just like a lot of you should not obligate a man or be entitled to chivalry!!
I don’t think women DO feel entitled to your “chivalry”.
I really hate it when people think they’re doing you a favor by “being nice”. We’ve been perfectly fine without your “niceness” all of this time, I think we’ll survive. Just like you’re not entitled to her/our “niceness” most of us have boundaries, and know we’re not entitled to yours. You come to a page called “Bougie BLACK GIRL” to defend a man’s choice to be disrespectful. Black men love invading Black women’s spaces to tell us how wrong, undesirable, and damaged we are. If we’re all of those things, don’t worry about us and keep it moving. Despite what you want to believe, we have options. Black women who support this nonsense, where is this same level of support when people are bashing us? I rarely see it from Black men (we all know “not all”) and wish you’d focus on self. You shouldn’t be in ANY relationship or help anyone else if you don’t know how to focus on and love yourself.
jerzey82, it appears she was a travel vlogger so, she was recording anyway. This had nothing to do with him.
There are some women and men that feel entitled to certain things in society. My thing is that how is what I said, “supporting a man’s dispectfulness”? You added this accusation out of nowhere that has nothing to do with what was being said. This is another problem in lines of communications, falsely accusing someone of something that has nothing to do with anything. There is no such thing as “your niceness”, where did you get this stuff from?
I’d also like to add, she’s gorgeous!
Black men aren’t taught the appropriate ways of talking to Black women. Yet they do think it’s different than approaching white women… which in itself is disturbing. Just because a man speaks in a way that he deems respectable doesn’t mean the woman has to accept it. A woman might be married, a lesbian, a transexual, on house arrest, or just plain old unavailable. She doesn’t have to return his advances. Saying that he was right and she was wrong takes away a woman’s right to make her own decisions.
Well said
Many black men say that they are the most desired men on the planet and every woman wants them.
If that is the case then why oh why do they have to be so darned aggressive…to the point of being creepy, threatening and harassing when approaching women?
You have to wonder why these men are so pressed to find women.
To me this is just one more reflection of the fact that the black community (all of it) sees black women as inferior to black men.
Black women are supposed to be grateful when an on-high black man is willing to talk to her.
It simply never even occurs to a lot of men an women that a woman is taken, has a headache, or just isn’t in to you based on your looks. It doesn’t have to be anything the man “did wrong.”
She could just be in a mood to NOT be approached that particular day, 3PM or 3AM. What kind of man (or woman looking on) can’t respect, “No” simply because I said “No” Period.
I’ve had some of these entitled freaking princes of the earth get damn scary with me.
Some, a lot, of these black men are just so sure they are worth so much more than we are. And the entire community backs them up.
Ray Rice knocks out Janay. 3/4s of the people wonder if she deserved it or are silent.
Cosby upwards 2 dozen accusers. and Beverly Johnson’s accusation is just so much nothing. Clarence Thomas versus Anita Hill all over again.
How many black unarmed females have been raised up?
The how-dare-you-not-be-grateful I approached you is just one more link in the superiority chain
I agree with you 100%, but I’ll just add that this kind of behavior is indicative of the contempt in the black community for black girl/womanhood period. I read the comments and found them to be further evidence of how violence against black women is encouraged and positively sanctioned in the black community. Black women lead in domestic violence stats as victims! And for all of the complaining that many in the black community do regarding law enforcement, we (black women) need the police as black men do not collectively protect black women.
All men seem to feel this entitlement. But since black men seem to feel they are MOST entitled to BLACK women, that’s like entitlement squared.
All you have to do is make eye contact too long and you’ll have somebody following you.
I totally got why she said, “I shouldn’t have said ‘hello’ Been there. Done that.
I only have to be moderately courteous. That’s it. And once you start following me? My being courteous after that moment is FEAR. And it’s not even fear of being raped or killed before midnight. It’s mostly fear of the guy freaking going-off on me because I didn’t respond in the way he feels ENTITLED to.
There are a lot of males that really don’t give a damn!!! They have better constructive things to do with their time then be involved with anything that has to do with a woman!
I am 53 and I watched both versions of the video. At first, I admit I thought it was some sort of prank. But, I feel that the young lady was under no obligation to speak, let alone give her name. If she had the guy may have thought she’s interested. Nowadays you can’t make eye contact and the friendly head nod without being seen as interested. If a male speaks to you and you don’t speak back then watch out out!
Amen Deborah
This was not about rejection. The was about attitude. I watched BOTH videos.
I did not see anything in the videos where both men came off as crasp. They came across as polite. Even the second one …as you can see he even gave a polite response once she told me that she was a psycho killer on the run…….
One of the most irritating things I hear many people ask is why do SO MANY black men …decide to date inter-racially? This is where it starts. It is not about rejection. At the beginning of the video, the your lady says ” I should have never said hello to him”.
Many black men no longer will approach black women anywhere because there is a certain rudeness in the rejection. …I am not going to even speak to you….or you are beneath me from even given you a name
The reason this video went viral is because many men have felt this type of attitude.
It has nothing to do with 3 AM in the morning. The streets were full. and something tells me that if it was 3PM in the afternoon the exact same results would apply
What part of you are NOT ENTITLED to a THING aren’t you getting? It doesn’t matter if you’re polite. It doesn’t matter if you stay 100 feet away if you keep coming after you get a clear “no”
Pretend I didn’t really hear you and smile is the quietest rejection I can give you.
But if I use words?
Quiet “No” means “No”
Medium “No” means “No”
Loud “No” means “No”
And “No” means you can’t even get my name. I give my name when I am prepared to say, “yes”
It has nothing to do with you.
And if you think I’ve EVER seen a black man pull this bullsh** on a white chick and get nasty, you think again. I’ve never seen a black man act this ENTITLED with a white chick. If anything the black man above dating black women is groveling and begging from a distance so as not to frighten delicate white flower.
Get it straight. I have nothing against interracial dating for love. I have dated outside the race. But I have EVERYTHING against the crap you’re spouting about black women having attitudes so you are FORCED to date outside.
Own your spineless crap. That’s the path toward healing boo.
Deborah….you know what?..
I decided something after reading what you said
you are correct..!
.a black woman has absolutely NO REASON and NO OBLIGATION to speak back when someone says hello to her.
How dare ANYONE try and create a conversation in the middle of a department store?
…in fact, if she sees a black man make any attempt to chat with her past a hello….like how are you?..or whats your name…………grab your girls and ….RUN LIKE HELL!
From now, on this has taught me I will never speak and approach another black american woman on the street in a polite way….
Black men need to STOP trying to talk to a black woman on the street because the attitude comes out. …….
Thank goodness I love black women from other countries who do not have shown then mentality….
As I tell other black men, if you want to speak to other women get you a passport and you will never have to experience this rudeness again
Terrace, you can’t possibly think that your aversion toward black women (of the American variety?) will be seen as “sudden” and Deb’s remarks as the catalyst.
I also find it odd that you think sexual attention from black men is -or should be-so valuable that threatening to withhold it should scare black women (American right?) into being socially and sexually available to black men without pause.
Thank you Den Good riddance to Terrance, honestly.
Maybe a better question for some men is what is the polite form of “no” that you can hear instantly?
She “hello” and kept walking. If she could have been politer than that and still signaled disinterest, then I don’t know it.
And she never got seriously rude. She made it plain that she wasn’t interested. There’s a difference.
Rejection is unpleasant no matter how it’s done. Maybe some of these “men” should just man-up and take it. If you’re not sure and you want to pursue the conversation little as a woman walks off (not afterward- that’s STALKING) in order to be sure she’s saying “no” then don’t get your panties in a bunch over hearing a clear “no.”
This video is outlandish, shameful, disgraceful and she did it to prove how she gets approached on the regular, she loves the attention. Nothing wrong with rejection. she needs to be tactful this would serve as a greater security feature than a cell phone. A thug will beat her down for being shamed and disrespected and seize her phone to avoid being caught and also would not care if he goes to jail. BM do approach WM in the same manner. If a survey was conducted it would prove that the average woman gets approached 7 to 15 times a day. If she passed a group of 15 men they would all have remarks. Black Feminist are now as aggressive against brothers like cops are, thank God they don’t carry guns because they are certainly in the majority. BM of all walks of life have followed women to make a connection even ending up in marriage and baring children. He a good looking nigga who saw a pretty girl she just had to say plain and simple she’s not interested. Hope she does not run into a serial killer cus this is not a JOKE.
Here’s my thing. Why do men feel entitled to every woman they meet? Why does she have to speak to him? Why do men think that they have the right to speak to every woman they see and then get upset when they’re rejected. See, it’s the sense of entitlement that bothers me. Why does this man feel entitled? Why are women supposed to just “be nice” to random dudes we don’t even know, at 3am?
Eva ..you don’t think its rude..if you said hello to someone ..and not only did they ignore you…they actually showed you an attitude for even saying hello? ….Again, the rejection is not the problem ….its the stereotypical …roll my eyes at you response that many women give off
Uh, Terrance, did you even watch the video? She didn’t ignore him when he said hello. She said hello back and kept walking. That should have given him a clue that she was only being polite and wasn’t interested. There are probably some girls who like being approached by dudes on the street, she just wasn’t one of them.
I’ve watched both videos and read ALL the comments posted, thus far, on this blog. It’s amazing to me that there are people who see this young lady as rude. I actually think she was polite in her response…because this “boy” followed her for over 2 minutes! If she were truly interested in him she would have stopped and turned to talk to him, back at the cat calls. But she did not! She was a young lady, who was clearly bothered by the fact that this “boy” was following her. And yes, I’m purposely using the word “boy”, because if he had been a man, he would have respected the fact that she wasn’t interested, 2 minutes prior…HELL…30 seconds, into the walk off! Furthermore, to the comments about not wanting to approach BW because of the attitudes we have…you might want to think about improving your socialization skills. Maybe BM should try approaching with YOUR name & number in hand instead of asking for BW. If said woman is interested she would walk towards you, she would take the card with YOUR name & number on it, or she would be happy to put it into her phone while man stands at a comfortable distance giving his information, and lastly, SHE would call YOU….if she were interested. If none of this occurs… She was being courteous when she said “Hello”, but…..SHE’S JUST NOT THAT INTERESTED IN YOU! Move on!
There is so much more at play here than a social interaction. Just look at how people have responded. History, race, gender equality, etc. At the core, however, is the idividual’s right to say ‘no’, and have it be respected. I am an African-American woman in her 50’s who has dealt with this sort of entitled behavior from boys and men of all ages and races for decades. From the creepy old white guy at church who always wanted a hug, back when I was in pigtails. To Black men and boys who have approached me, some politley some not so politely. To the totally disrespectful Asian guy who stalked me in the grocery store for 20 minutes last week, even after I politely declined his demand for my phone number AND showed him my wedding ring. Yes, you take a risk when you try to connect with another person, but that’s just it, it’s your risk, your need, your desire. It has nothing do with the other person. No matter who they are, they don’t owe you a thing.
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5945518
She should have been more kind in her let down. Wit could be the difference between life and death sadly. We have to take precautions in life and I know it’s ridiculous but it’s the world we live in
How are some of you raised. I applaud the women that were raised to be nice and find other ways to say I’m not interested. Shame on the person and others that feel like women or the best thing in this world and all this bullshit about “you are not required to give up your time and that other bullshit. We know you don’t have to but why be rude. I’m a very attractive man and I’m not rude to women attractive or unattractive that approach me. Smh to some of my people.
She had every right to keep walking. He should have went away. She said hello and he kept stalking her. I think I would have found the nearest cop and asked for an assist. My safety means more to me than any man’s ego.
I see a lot of denigrating of black males in the comment sections. Fine. We all have the right to be bitter. Its natural. Objectively speaking, as a black man, the pickings do appear to be slim for black women interested in dating a decent, career oriented, loyal black man. However, I can assure you that black women, in general, aren’t any more of a prize than black men. I dated black women up until age 30 - i.e. four years ago - ’cause just like some of you black women, I demand more. You have a degree? Well, I have a mid six-figure a quarter business. What else are you offering. I also know how to speak to people respectfully, and don’t walk around with a chip on my shoulder. All I’m saying is, the same factors that have ruined a good number of black males, most of you are not immune to. Of course, its always easier to see the flaws in others.
So you’re complaining about the denigrating of black men - which is a regrettably common theme on this page - by putting down black women?
“the pickings do appear to be slim for black women interested in dating a decent, career oriented, loyal black man” - Only if you’re looking in all the wrong places for black women.
I fail to see how this depiction you paint of black women is even relevant to this woman being followed around by this creepy guy or the mind-bogglingly evil comments being thrown her way by online bystanders. There’s no excuse for what this guy did. He’s a punk.
I know a great many women who are black who are dating non black men, and married as well, and receive respect. Every non black man who has approached me came with respect and was able to walk away if/when turned down. So perhaps you should recheck that. Black women who are sure of themselves and won’t take crap from any man are more likely to find a man who can value and respect her. A smart woman doesn’t let the color of a man’s skin make her go for him or avoid him. Quality over color. Sadly, many black men showing up in the online realm seem to be in the lack of quality. Your 6 figures don’t mean anything if you don’t know how to respect a woman.
If he’d been a homosexual male pursing a “straight” man who filmed him or a masculine identified following a “straight” perceived woman, or a woman pursuing a man no only would the recorder’s actions would not only be justified but the purser would be the target of misogyny, homophobia with violent recommendations.
I’m not surprised at the vitriolic comments the video sparked. They’re just a symptom of a community that doesn’t value its women.
While its clear that the men who commented displayed entitlement and misogyny, I was saddened to read that some of the negative comments came from women. I wonder what kind of low standards the women have, and whether this correlates with the irresponsible and uncommitted men they seem to allow themselves to be impregnated by.
That’s why I made my blog. The treatment of black women in society is disgusting. Because as soon as she would’ve given in. He would’ve used her and referred to her as a whore or a slut. Black women can not win.
We have standards and want to protect ourselves we’re seen as rude or bitter. When we want to be sexually free we’re seen as whores and sluts. Kudos to the gorgeous woman in the video for standing for herself. They obviously weren’t her cup of tea, she doesn’t have to say yes to them just because they’re black.
Women are not obligated to give you anything. Women don’t even owe you a conversation if they don’t want it. If she’s not interested she’s not interested. If she gave in they would’ve kept harassing her. They asked for her number instead of wanting to give her theirs which means they didn’t want anything from her but something sexual. It’s repulsive.
Men do this to women all the time, if they’re not interested they don’t even pay the woman attention, and it’s absolutely okie dokie in society. When a woman rejects a man all types of hell break loose. Blame misogyny, blame sexism, blame all of these primitive outdated rules that have bred entitled men. This is also how women get killed.
Black male entitlement is poison and I blame the black community for this. I hope this becomes a thing, where black women continue to record the way we’re treated in society from all races and gender.
The black womanists/feminists may not like this but oh well. The guy did not strike me as all “that rude” from what I saw although a case might be made for being desperate.Honestly as a women, I personally have seen women at times be unjustifiably over the top with responses. Yeah, I do think common courtesy goes a long way from both genders.
But as honest as I am about the above, in truth enough black men do not help their cases either. Ultradudes/overaccomodating women won’t like it but oh well. In truth, some of these guys today-enough to be noticed- don’t display home training/common courtesy or they simply refuse to catch often obvious hints. Life is tough and rejection sucks, but if one party politely shows disinterests in your advances, why don’t some guys just keeping it moving. This, and the fact that some knucklehead type of guys are usually the main type of guys to give a girl they are “not interested in a very smug cold shoulder themselves” explains why they not only come off as “kinda pathetic”, they come off partly bringing rejection on themselves. If some of these guys fall into the category I describe they are hypocrites too.
I don’t know,IMHO a case can be made for common courtesy/decency regardless of gender. But then a person not respecting other peoples choices even when they dissent politely is trifling itself. As for “the giving evil for evil” train of thought, the Bible itself implies that evil persists longer/more than it should because people don’t often take clear, strong stances. The Bible can go either way. I find it extra to “cuss someone out for politely hollering” but there is no excuse for being called out your name for rejecting advances. That train of thought don’t help matters. It encourages the entitlement some of these silly dudes have by coddling to foolishness. “As for black men leaving black women for nonblack women or speaking nasty as a result-if rejection does this- tactful or not- maybe the nonblack girl is for you because we just might not be missing much.TBH, anyway some of you get better response from nonblack women because you approach them with more courtesy/reason than you do black women. But if by chance you do similar mess with nonblack women and you get similar responses, does it ever cross you that besides unjustified biases some of the bad name you got is because of foolishness like this? As for black women being bitter, if a man acting a rabid fool like some women admittedly do don’t scream male bitterness as well what does. I concede.There are times it would not kill for black women to be polite but I’m gonna need some male “characters” to get this memo, if respect/courtesy is desired maybe I would be a reasonable idea to have it yourselves.
I am about done but I have a question for both straight ultramales/overly docile women-if a pushy type gay/lesbian person came at you aggressive even after you rejected advances would you condone it? If not, then why is this okay when you do/accept this mess. If I somehow offend anybody gay with the scenario, it is not my intention and I am open to any legit gripes to the above scenario. My point is just if they would not accept this crap from others, who are they to try to pull/support this mess when it comes to them dealing with others.
I agree with this misconception of women - and I mean all women, being expected by society to be politically correct 100% of the time. A woman or any person for that matter does not owe you anything. You never know what people are going through or who you’re approaching, so you should approach at your own risk!
Personally, if it’s after dark and I’m walking on the streets - if I don’t know you, we have NOTHING to discuss. Not even a hello, but that’s just me.
I’m a black woman and never in my life have I felt the negativity of being a black woman, until now. Before, I didn’t see color, however, it’s becoming hard because so many people want you to fail, so many people want to put you inside of a box, so many people label you. It’s hard being a black woman in this world, however, I won’t let it get me down. And I encourage other black women to not let it get them down either.
But it’s a fact, as a race…we have to do better. We have to.
For all the black men commenting in the negative…so let me ask…if a young man follows your daughter, sister or mother and she refuses him it’s ok for him to “punch her in the face” or “Cuss her out caus she a “stuck up bitch” right?? Hmmm…because she should be grateful for the attention?? I’ve been approached by black men who all but “yelled” at me for saying no thanks. Called a “fat bitch’, stuck up bitch, ugly bitch, all that caus I had the AUDACITY to say very politely I might add “no”..
In the video above, that man did not cuss that woman out. .What you are asking……and what was on the video was totally different……
He saw her on the street, said “Hello”. ( her response was she should have never said hello )….. he probably saw she was an attractive woman, turned around and tried to re-approach her . He asked her name. …..She could have easily said hi my name is Felicia or made up a name. …..and then tell him …hey, listen me and my friend are walking so I am not interested …then its case closed…
INSTEAD she came off as rude.( I DON’T HAVE A NAME!) ….and black women already have a horrible stereotype of the rolling eyes, bitter black woman who is too hard to approach.and a bad attitude….
Again, he did NOT come off as rude. In fact, the second guy did the same thing(.and when she turned him down)…….did he say any nasty things?
NOOOOO…what did he do?….He said ok and left because if you notice the second man was treated with respect.
Are you cool with black men being stereotyped and entitled, predatory, aggressive, and overbearing, especially when it comes to women. I’m pretty sure during the 10 hours in NY video black men were complaining about them not showing any white men in the video and only black men who heckled the woman walking. Lets not go there, to justify black women having to speak to you because you demand it. If she doesn’t want to be bothered, that’s a cue to keep it trucking. You wouldn’t want woman you weren’t interested in to keep pestering you.
What video are you watching? Are you telling me in this video you saw 2 men being abusive to that woman? ..You honestly saw them heckling her?
Anyway, this is why black men need to stop saying hello or make any sort of greetings to black women on the street, grocery store, mall..etc…
…..Most men know this already….you can look but just don’t speak.
.
This may offend some people, but it is constructive and needed.
The way I see it, the vast majority of these black boys/men who are called out for not knowing how to properly approach or talk to black women are being raised by single black women.
So who is at fault then when they don’t know how to treat black women? Think about that for a moment.
Both black women and men need to step up and stop blaming each other like petulant children over who is at fault. We need each other, we deserve each other we still have an opportunity to fight for and love each other.
@Jim. You make an interesting point, and I am not surprised that you are pushing the blame back to black women who give birth to these thugs. What about the black men who abandon their children to become thugs? Are you seriously blaming black women for not being male role models to their sons?
You are right Lola. It is actually not my intention to blame black women. But, I am too also tired of always seeing black men blamed all-the-time-for-every-failing of black people.
You mentioned what about the men who abandon their children. Yes, but what about the women who open their legs to men who are most likely to abandon them? Shall we continue to use chicken and egg arguments? Because it won’t ever stop.
Both a mother and father are to blame for not being there and teaching their daughters on how to select appropriate partners. We seem to leave that for degenerate music and television to do. Just as you educate a child to make decisions on how to further their education, you also need to train a child on selecting quality men (or quality women) as they mature into adulthood. This doesn’t mean teaching them to be rude, part of it means carrying oneself in a way that men (or women) will respect you. Men instinctively know who they can approach like donkeys (thats what I call men that do this) and they do because its a game to them and they are honing their skills in this “game” of approach and conquer.
In order to get this donkey foolishness to stop, women need to learn how to take control of the conversation - in a proactive but polite manner. Because invevitably if men are approaching women in this way, it is because a significant number of them respond to this behavior. Otherwise a man would not invest his time and effort in doing it.
If you really want this behavior to stop, then stop responding to the men who use this tactic. One small example of what some women do (it works very well), if you think he’s about to come onto you, come onto him instead, ask him for his number and just never call him. That way you were not rude, you acknowledged his humanity and you controlled the conversation. That is how power works and any woman can quickly take control of the conversation in this way and direct it to where she wants it to go. This trickles down to all facets of life where women feel they are disenfranchised, take control of the conversaion but use finesse and cunning to throw your “attacker” off balance. Because it is a war make no mistake about it. I would encourage all women to read the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and Sun Tzu’s the art of war. Both of these books hold invaluable information on how to deal with other people and relationships. On the other side of the spectrum, encourage the male behavior that you do appreciate. For example, if you run into a nice guy that makes an advance but for whatever reason you are unavailable then say “you know I really appreciate the manner in which you respectfully approached me, I wished more men did that, but I am in a relationship (…or whatever else)”.
And to those women above who say they are done with black men, that they despise black men and whatnot. That is another form of self-hatred that will return to bite you one day. Say you marry a white man and you have a son, who very likely will be considered a black man by society, what do you tell/teach him? Will you hate him the same way you hate black men? Let’s not be ridiculous.
Ugh. Not sure what’s worse - the men doing this, or the women co-signing it (including saying that the young lady should’ve been punched in the face by the stalkers). Sickening.
Why everytime a black male do something stupid its the single black mother who did it.I knew to guys as a matter of fact grew up with them had both parents and before u open your mouth and call his parents thugs they wasnt had the nicest home on the street both parents had professional careers and raised him right but he still felt like it wasn’t enough this guy was disrespectful towards women robbed people he didnt have to do that but he has both parents but all that crap he was doing he ended up being six feet under I hated that he was murdered but he out looking for the wrong things and had all the right things at home and he had both parents so you see his mother didnt raise him on her own its just you never no what your child is thinking people raise there kids up really well some still turn out bad so stop blaming every black woman you see raising a child on her own everytime a blk male do crazy things.they right he following this woman around is creepy what if she was a killer she would have lured his behind somewhere and got him knocked off then she would have been labeled a no good low down blk woman who set a blk man up are better yet if she would have gave in and he could of murdered her so then the blame would have still been on the black woman not the blk male cause most stupid people will be like she ask for it why she walking that late are hey she wear weave to much makeup are she was murdered for being stuck up save that bull crap no one has to talk to you cause u want to talk who the hell dp black men think they are u believe the media on whatever they tell yall blk men are the most desirable remember the media is full of dirty tricks its a reason why they put this type of stuff out like that so blk men keep falling for master magician tricks and one can follow me if he want I tell him to go away at 3 am in the morning I want need a camcorder to show the internet anything cause smith and wesson and my can of pepper spray can speak for me.dont mean to condone violence but aggressive behavior can get you hurt are killed when a person tells you to get lost got dammit beat it.
You think he was “just being nice”?
I encourage every Black woman to read “The Gift Of Fear”, by Gavin De Becker I read this book nearly twenty years ago and it changed the way I respond to situations such as the one shown in the video. This book provides many examples to help readers recognize what the author calls pre-incident indicators (PINS) of violence. PINS are verbal and/or physical behaviors that predict violence. These are the PINS:
1. Forced Teaming. This is when a person implies that he has something in common with his chosen victim, acting as if they have a shared predicament when that isn’t really true. Speaking in “we” terms is a mark of this, i.e. “We don’t need to talk outside… Let’s go in.”
2. Charm and Niceness. This is being polite and friendly to a chosen victim in order to manipulate him or her by disarming their mistrust. (note: this is the behavior displayed by the first guy in the video TO A TEE)
3. Too many details. If a person is lying they will add excessive details to make themselves sound more credible to their chosen victim.
4. Typecasting. An insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. For example: “Oh, I bet you’re too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me.” The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue.
5. Loan Sharking. Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they’ll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return.
6. The Unsolicited Promise. A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken. For example: an unsolicited, “I promise I’ll leave you alone after this,” usually means the chosen victim will not be left alone. Similarly, an unsolicited “I promise I won’t hurt you” usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim.
7. Discounting the Word “No”. Refusing to accept rejection.
After (or while) reading the book, begin comparing the 7 PINS to the above responses to the video on this post. “Terrance”, for example, wrote “because being a polite person saying hello and whats your name is considered STALKER – ISH……..come on now”. This response is indicative of PIN #2 (Charm and Niceness). And all of “Terrance” ‘s responses, as well as those from “Jeannestar101” and “Cinderella’sPrince” are indicative of PIN #7 (Discounting the Word “No”. Refusing to accept rejection.)
I don’t just encourage Black women to read this book; I strongly recommend they share the information, as appropriate, with their daughters. Curious, that it’s the writings of a White man that helped me learn how to defend myself from Black men.
I’ll leave you with the author’s analysis of his book: “Like every creature on earth, we have an extraordinary defense resource: We don’t have the sharpest claws and strongest jaws-but we do have the biggest brains, and intuition is the most impressive process of these brains. It might be hard to accept its importance because intuition is often described as emotional, unreasonable, or inexplicable. Husbands chide their wives about “feminine intuition” and don’t take it seriously. If intuition is used by a woman to explain some choice she made or a concern she can’t let go of, men roll their eyes and write it off. Intuition connects us to the natural world and to our nature. It carries us to predictions we will later marvel at. “Somehow I knew,” we will say…about the unlikely turnaround in someone’s behavior, or about the violence we steered clear of, or, too often, the violence we elected not to steer clear of. The Gift of Fear offers strategies that help us recognize the signals of intuition-and helps us avoid denial, which is the enemy of safety.”
TRUE STORY…..
..A very interesting thing happened shortly after I made my post..
… I went to a grocery store and was in the first isle getting some fruit when I noticed a VERY ATTRACTIVE black woman maybe about 20 feet away getting some apples….
It just so happen, I was not the only person who noticed, because there were 4 other men in the same isle.
…I think we all thought the same thing….that WOW, she was attractive…but there was no way in hell any of us would say a thing……or make any approaches
HOWEVER, one guy next to me…decided to make a “gamble”…….and go for it…….
Guess what he said?
He said “Hello…how are you today?” ……
( we all kind of figured what normally would happen in this situation 99% of the time…she would either not respond…or she would nod her head and keep moving)
and guess what happened next?….
……..
……
……
………
She actually replied….”I am doing great and how are you?”….
Not only was this guy stunned…but you could see that every guy was speechless.( including me)….
The man said …
.”well….Im doing great too” …
She smiled and said “why are you smiling and why is everyone looking at me like that?”
He said, “listen, I am sorry, but I would like to just say THANK YOU for saying Hi back with a smile and even asking me how I was too”
He said normally it rarely happens that a woman would even say anything back. …and I just wanted to actually say thank you.
She started laughing and said….”awww come on guys. It is not that bad out there. You said hello to me in a respectful manner and I said hello back”
That is not a big deal..
That is when all guys in the isle responded in the same way……We all said …..IT IS A BIG DEAL.
And we all complimented on her for being so nice and responding back.
Nobody asked her for her number or tried to “stalk her” ……….
But…she left every guy in there….who might have thought the worst …because she was a black woman who would usually in those circumstances give you “the eyes of death” if you say hello…..turned it into making something that should be thought of as normal.
The person above me gave a 7 step speech on why black women should NEVER do this….
and this is a shame
Terrance,
I am glad you read what I wrote because now you’ve learned something new. And knowledge is power.
Although I recommended Black women read the book I mentioned above (“The Gift of Fear”, by Gavin de Becker”), I actually think you should read it, as well. You seem to become emotionally unglued whenever a Black woman doesn’t reciprocate your advances, or speak to you. Your constant need for attention and acknowledgement could lead you into dangerous, if not life-threatening territory. No doubt you’ve seen or heard of the movies “Fatal Attraction” and “A Thin Line”. Yes, women are sometimes the perpetrators of stalking and violence against men.
The pre-incident indicators, or PINS (or speech as you view it), are designed to help people recognize behavioral patterns that often lead to violence. Nowhere in my post (or speech) did you read that black women should “Never” be nice. This extrapolation on your part further illustrates that you don’t understand personal space or boundaries. I posted the information because I believe (and maintain) that the first guy in the video displayed PIN #7, when he received a clear message from the woman that she wasn’t interested in him, but continued to follow her..
I am happy that you had a pleasant encounter with the Black woman in the grocery store, although I don’t believe it was the cause celebre you make it out to be. And speaking of grocery stores, “isle” should have been spelled “aisle”.
And now you’ve learned something else new.
Linda, I have no idea what you mean by “emotionally unglued” ….No one is emotionally unglued here.
What I was illustrating that you have a 7 step systematic plan on why black women should avoid black men who might approach them.
Somehow you have in your head that each man that approaches is some sort of danger.
If you watched closely, that SECOND guy who approached her said and did the EXACT same thing…..that the first one did.
He said hello..how are you?
She said Im ok….
He asked her a second question …..( very nicely)
and she told him…
” listen….I am A PSYCHO KILLER” ( these are her words)
Do you know what they man said in response???
Ok…. thank you….for speaking……and you two ladies have a wonderful day and smiled..turned around and went on his way.
LOL
I almost find it as funny when I see other post asking why so many successful black men date outside their race and avoid dating black women. (they should come and view this post for that very easy answer)
Listen…I have learned to never approach black women ( well at least American Black Women) and speak to them ……because 99% of the time you will have a negative interaction.
Its amazing that as a black man…if I see a another brotha walking down the same side walk as me…I can look up and say “whats up” ..and he will acknowledge with a nod or a whats up back….but with a sistah…..
nahhhhh
don’t do it.
Black women are not to be spoken too and this is a shame
Terrance,
Thank you for giving me the credit for coming up with the 7 pre-incident indicators. They aren’t, in fact, MY plan. Nor are they ethno-specific. All the same, I am flattered that you attributed them to me because I think they comprise the best strategy for avoiding violence. While I don’t think that every Black man who approaches a Black woman spells danger, I do believe that many, and maybe most, will end up doing them harm. And said harm will be either physical, psychological, financial, or any combination of the three. Most Black women are relieved when Black men tell us they are going to date outside the race. Believe me, it’s not a loss I did as you suggested, and watched the video closely. What I saw was astounding. FIVE of the seven pre-incident indicators take place in the space of one minute and twenty-nine seconds. I concentrated on the content that begins at 1:36 and ends at 3:05. At 1:36, the young woman expresses her concern at having spoken to the man. In the next couple of seconds her friend tells her they are being followed. The man continues to follow the women down the street, into the store and down the aisle. Note that the women continue walking with their backs turned, which should indicate to the man that they’re not interested. At this point, we’ve seen PINS# 1 (Forced Teaming) and PIN# 7 (Discounting the Word No). Forced Teaming occurs when the man decides that he must follow the woman and get her into a well-lit, public place, where any conversation with her will make it appear as if he knows her. Forcing his presence upon her is a form of Forced Teaming. And he discounts her non-verbal “no” by ignoring that her back is turned to him, her eyes are averted and she’s steadily walking away from him. At 2:42 you hear the man say, “How you doin’?” followed by a more persistent and louder, “HOW YOU DOIN’?” Here we see PIN #2 (Charm and Niceness). I wouldn’t exactly call his behavior charming, or even nice, but I suppose it’s the best he can do. His “how you doin’?” actually sounds to me like “I demand your attention!” At 2:54, after the woman tells him she doesn’t have a name, the man responds, “That’s very rude.” Here we see PIN# 4 (Typecasting). Remember, that with this PIN, an insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. By telling her she’s being rude, his desire is that the woman will want to prove the insult untrue. At 2:59, the man tells her that he “approached her like a gentleman”. Here we see PIN# 6 (Unsolicited Promise). In this case, the promise is implied. He wants her to believe that since he approached her like a gentleman, he will behave like a gentleman. Or as Gavin de Becker puts it, “an unsolicited “I promise I won’t hurt you” usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim.” I now believe that this video (the interaction between the women and the men), should be used in conjunction with the book “The Gift of Fear”, to help Black women learn how to recognize and avoid street harassment.
Besides, why would a smart black man want to pursue or invest his time in someone that will eventually lead to alimony payments, child support, messed up retirement and indebtedness, and short term marriage. What most black women don’t understand is that the long term thing a man will have in dealing with us are the consequences of being involved with us!!!!
Yeah she has the right to say no, but obviously she was trying to make a fool out of them by recording it and being a smartass. Maker her look cool to her followers, friends and give this image that every guy wants her when she goes out. It’s too many ho’s out here that are like this. Hell I see it on facebook, female fb friends publicly shaming guys for private inboxing them, by posting the convo on their page, etc. I’m guessing if either of the guys had’ve said “hey bitch what that number is’ that would’ve gotten a warmer welcome. I’m starting to think most women don’t even like men. Lol
That is something similar to what Helen Smith was saying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpFN5KT8pzw
Those guys were making fools of themselves following around a girl who showed little to no interest in them. They could have left the moment she got out the phone, but they kept following her. You expect her to not be rude to some randos following her after she walked away from them? Would you feel the same if your mom or daughter had the same encounter?
They need home training really really bad!
This dude is persistently following the girl around, creeping her out and all of these bitter guys here are worried about how nicely she should be speaking to him.
Cold Tundra’s comments does not such that he feels the same way like the others you mentioned
*I know right? This dude is persistently following the girl around, creeping her out and all of these bitter guys here are worried about how nicely she should be speaking to him.
How do you feel about women accusing good respectable men of doing things against them that they have not done?
It sucks when someone accuses another person of doing something they didn’t do, but that has nothing to do with this video. Sure, the dude was trying to have a nice conversation, but she didn’t feel like talking to him any further after she said hi. Him speaking politely doesn’t negate the fact that he was being intrusive. He doesn’t get points for not insulting her.
Hello everyone my name is Whitney!!!
The fact that the extended video of this has females talking even more shit almost as to say “ha I told you so” is funny to me. The only thing that video solved was the thought almost everyone had of her pulling out her phone jus to humiliate him because apparently she was jus recording one of her vlogs but that doesn’t make her any less of a bitch because she still decided to put that humiliating footage in her travel vlog. The real issue here is sexism an how racism ties into it cause the only reason they felt threatened was because it was 2 BLACK MEN trying to talk to them at 3am just like how most white ppl would be for example if a black man around that time saw a white couple leave a bar/store etc n seen that the woman had dropped something from her purse then went to pick it up an give it back to her “excuse me ms!” An started walking towards them the first thing they would think is oh he must be up to something then they would more then likely start power walking to safety JUS like the girls were in the video. That’s the problem, black men in america are looked at as evil thugs by both white ppl (racism) and women (sexism) even our own race of women thats why I say its sexism (sparked by feminists) intertwined with racism cause modern day feminists socially condition women to believe that most men are evil predators pretty much jus like how most white ppl view blacks. It was crystal clearly obvious that those dudes were only trying to talk to her but in her mind all she could think was “what good could possibly come from 2 black men at 3am” an proceeded to make them look like societies perception of black men despite how respectful they were. Like she purposely put this part in her vlog to show women the dangers of walking around that late before the sight seeing part started. That extended video proved nothing, it was jus something for all the ignorant stuck up bitches that agreed wit her actions to feel good about when in actuality it only made the girl look like even more of a bitch
The average smart man would not be in a store 3 am in the morning he would be resting his body and not wasting his time approaching some female.
Ladies, there are men that have more constructive things to do with their time than play “Tom and Jerry” chasing women!
“That’s the problem, black men in america are looked at as evil thugs by both white ppl (racism) and women (sexism) even our own race of women thats why I say its sexism (sparked by feminists) intertwined with racism cause modern day feminists socially condition women to believe that most men are evil predators pretty much jus like how most white ppl view blacks.”
Cry me a river. Black men commit about half of the violent crime in this country, and their victims are usually other blacks. I guess that’s feminims fault too? And just take a look at your post…how many times did you use “bytch” to refer to women? Using that kind of language indicates a certain contempt for women, and that you have contributed to the same stereotypes of black males that you claim to be against.
“It was crystal clearly obvious that those dudes were only trying to talk to her..”
Crystal clear to whom? It’s not up to you as a spectator to decide when and under what circumstances a woman should fear for her safety. And there is no “only” (“only trying to talk to her”) when a stranger is being intrusive by invading someone’s space and demanding access to their resources (in this case time/attention).
@Professormegan an that’s exactly what the racist/sexist media wants you to think so congratulations for being yet another ignorant brainwashed individual 🎊🎉 white ppl are killing there own kind off at the same rate but of course yur not gonna hear about it that much because they don’t wanna expose there own kind. That shit has nothin to do with feminism that’s racism learn the difference, feminism today is mostly evil an might as well jus be considered a female kkk group of gender issues cause most of then have made it painfully obvious that they hate men an they instill that hatred in millions of women through the crooked media with the idea that most of us are evil rapists and criminals especially black men but that’s where the race issue ties in. N yea, I called her a bitch twice in that comment because that’s what she was actin like :-/ but it’s not like you would know that cause yur obviously a bitch yourself since you agree wit her actions. Same goes for all the other bitches on here as well if you agreed wit what she did then your a bitch 2 period. Like I said YES it WAS clearly obvious that they were jus trying to talk to her in a respectable manner at that because they found her attractive but her, you know being a bitch an all, decided to act childish an play mystery girl wit them when they were trying to talk to them the first time plus the fact that they were a bit scared jus because it was 3am an they were black that’s stereotyping, the logic you females have on these types of situations is extremely fucked up but that’s all because of wat radical feminists and racist Caucasians teach you. It’s because of THEM that you think a guy (or guys) walking up to you in an attempt to talk to you is stalkerish an creepy it’s because of THEM that you think a guy trying to talk to you on a late night might be trying to rob/kill you because of his skin color an it’s because of THEM that you walk around thinking your the baddest thing on the planet an everyone owes you something. foh, what men in general need to do is jus leave you females alone for good since this is how the majority of you wanna act now. A bunch of idiotic delusional arrogant self centered ungrateful disgraceful sry excuses for women, the world would be a much better place without bitches like you guaranteed
I stopped reading after you once again used the word “bytch” to refer to a woman. I do NOT argue/debate/discuss with NYGGERS (that would be you). Enjoy being on nignore.
Finally, don’t some of us black females call each other “Bitches” when engaged in silly cat fights!!???
…….ok?
was that supposed to faze me or something? Lmao if that’s really your reason for not wanting to debate then your lame af, jus like ms. German said females call each other bitches all the time an think nothing negative of it but as soon as a dude does you lose your shit smh typical, I called you a bitch because no WOMAN in her right mind would agree wit mykels actions, only other bitches…..like you. An then you can’t even spell correctly but have the ordasity to put Professor in front of your name 😂😂 like seriously? Your a joke
And so that there is no confusion, I called you a NYGGER, not NYGGAH.
First you misspelled the word and secondly aren’t you the n-word yourself.
Everyone, there is no need for name calling.
German, I didn’t misspell anything. I used a “y” so that the word would still be included in my post. If I were a nygger myself, I wouldn’t have used the word to refer to someone else.
Lastly, you appear to be black male identified, as you had at least one exchange with the person I put on nignore and refused to address him referring to women as “bytch”. Yet, you appear to be vexed over my use of language as it refers to him? lol please. When someone can call someone else out of their name (a stereotypical name at that which is almost exclusively used to refer to black women) because he disagrees with them on a black womens sight and not be checked by a black woman, then perhaps they should check their priorities. I still don’t understand why some black women think it’s normal for any man but especially a black man to refer to black woman whose perspective he disagrees with as a “bytch”.
Neither I nor any black woman in my friendship circle refer to women and especially not black women as “bytch”. Are you seriously sitting here defending his right to refer to a black woman as a “bytch” lol? Then I’ll put this on a level you can understand, if that’s the case then don’t some black people call other ignorant blacks nygger. I’m really starting to think that you are Mr. German.
It is spelled with an “i” American citizen! Like us black women don’t call each other degrading names, give me a break!!Stop playing the victim game and being such a complainer!!!
WOW!!!!
I know, right lol
This is what this person said to me in a response from another site. I am thinking this person is a foreigner,
“I identify myself as a tyrannical disciplinarian, citizen!!!!! U.S. Army Colonel (retired) Whitney German. Served in three wars and took bullets for my sisters and brothers at arms!!!!”
I already explained to you two posts ago why I ommitted the “I”, and substituted the “Y”. I also stated how I nor any black women in my friendship circle do not use the word “bytch”.
And you can’t address the points I made, so now I’m a “victim” and “complainer”, and all on a BWE site lol? Either you are a man or a black male identified woman.
I identify myself as a tyrannical disciplinarian, citizen!!!!! U.S. Army Colonel (retired) Whitney German. Served in three wars and took bullets for my sisters and brothers at arms!!!!
And I’m identifying you as someone with at least two screen names, and probably even more personalities. Sir/ black identified man/white woman or whatever you are, next time be more careful regarding which account you post under…then no one will know that you are posting from multiple accounts and like to talk to yourself on line.
You clearly can’t debate with me and win, so you have resorted to outright lying. Are you seriously saying that I posted that nonsense to you “on another site”. lol. Where’s the link? I’ll wait.
Why is this person worried about spelling so much and bothering you?
Professormegan you made an excellent point!!
Everybody shut the F**k up!!!!!!!!!!!!
This person above is not me. Cold tundra or german cloned my name
Please don’t lie on anyone!! You know you are the one that is behind all this stuff!
Behind all what stuff? My name was cloned. Apparently, here on wordpress anyone can use any name (even if already in use) with a different email address to leave a comment. Ms. German and cold tundra are the same person and is not a black female. Just check out some of it’s other posts on this site on other stories where he/she/it/shim continues to tell black females to stop playing victim. None of this started until I exposed this person as being someone with multiple accounts and multiple personalities too. My posts, if you follow them, ALWAYS focus on the betterment of black females. And for all I know, you could be one of Germans and Tundras multiple personalities. Seeing as how you suddenly popped up when all this started. Are you able to show where you have posted a comment on this site at any point before yesterday? I can.
Professormegan,
He,she, or it, must have a boring life or something.
Thank you for posting this. Finally someone with some sense.
Couldn’t believe how many people thought she was rude!
I thought she did the right thing, in fact, this is exactly how I want my daughter to curve dudes. Smh.
Moral standardsare declining.