I was watching the Steve Harvey clip above on YouTube. In this clip the wife says that her husband dislikes her natural hair. This makes me sick. The fool was running out of the house because of her natural hair. What? The funny thing is he has the same damn hair. Unlike what others want you to believe by saying this is about attractiveness or maintaining the same look or excusing the stupid by understanding how he feels, it’s not. Natural hair is beautiful but let’s be real. This man has deep seeded issues with himself. Her natural hair bothers him because it reminds him of his own. His natural afro-textured hair. You know the one he cuts off every two weeks.
Husband dislikes wife’s natural hair. Image via Youtube
Secondly, in the clip she taking blame for how he feels? What? Screw how he feels. It’s her body. He is the one with the problem, not her. Honestly, she isn’t the only one I have seen do this. Black women must stop asking permission, stop understanding how others feel, stop giving a damn about someone else’s opinion and stop apologizing for doing what you want to do with your body. Black women’s bodies are not community property. Let me remind you once again. It’s your body. Wear your hair the way you want. Weave, relaxed, natural and/or bald, go for it. It’s your hair and it’s nobody’s god damn business what you do with it.
Look, when was the last time you heard a man apologize for wearing their hair the way they want? When was the last time you saw a man sit on TV and on social media cry about how his wife doesn’t accept his natural hair? Never, because Black women don’t do that to Black men but it’s always the opposite. Which gender really suffers from self-hatred? Hmm? This mentality is deeply rooted in sexism and Black women who give these people the time of day are willfully participating in it. If a man, husband or not, isn’t giving you the same say over his body that you are giving over to him, you are a fool. You are willfully acting against your own interests and your emotional and mental health.
I believe this until my last breath. The hair debate is a shell game for Black women. If your hair is natural, someone says you should straighten it. If you wear a weave or wig, someone says you hate your natural self. If wear your hair straight, you accused of being a negropean. You see, you can’t win and you will never win when you worry about what others say. That’s the point.
Now that we know the debate over YOUR BODY is a game to control you, stop giving people power over you that have no business having power over you. Own your body. If a partner who claims to love you can’t accept what you do with your body maybe your relationship isn’t about love.
The game ain’t set up for Black women to win. Not this one, at least.
Agreed
Bravo! Black women can never catch a break. I’ve never heard anybody try to shame a woman of any other ethnicity what she should do with her hair, whether it means keeping it natural or making changes. My ex was a hairdresser and she would tell me that one of the best things about being a woman was trying new looks (hairstyles, fashion or makeup)!
Sure, guys are going to have their preferences but it’s up to the woman on whether she wants to oblige those preferences. I don’t think any man can say that a woman he cares about hasn’t made at least subtle changes in his looks or tastes. A good woman makes you better.
I’ve been known to grow a mustache or shave one off depending on whether she likes me with it or not. If I feel she’s worth it, I will change colognes and even sample foods that I would previously be loathe to try. I draw the line on calamari though. I’m not eating anything with tentacles.
The only person you owe any consideration to is your significant other, and if they love you, how you wear your hair shouldn’t be a bone of contention. The rest of society has no say in it.
Absolutely
Hair really? The conversation is so rediculous.If we first embrace the natural then the offensive dialogue becomes meaningless.Its your hair do whatever the hell you want with it.My grandmother always use to say “I’m over 50 I can say whatever the hell I want to say if you don’t like it kiss my —-“.As a child we used to laugh about that but now I understand it.If you are defined by your stupid hair then cut it the hell off PROBLEM SOLVED
Perhaps it is my location (San Francisco, for a hell of a long time) but from where I sit those sorts of control freak BM are closeted homosexuals trolling as picky misogynists. Only BM are so concerned with a woman’s hair and as we know a many homosexual BM chose to be closeted about it and make the lives of BW living hell in their quest to try to pass as str8. BW need to wake up and smell the purple sequins.
Oh Wow… Why oh why is the onus always on the black woman?
Take weave out they talk about our hair, put weave in they talk about our hair, fry it, dye it, straighten it and so it’s talk, talk. Shave it off it’s talk, talk, not nice talk, but ugly talk.
So, tired of this especially when the one you should be able to depend on to accept and love your hair runs out the house and says stuff like take it off. What the hey hey!!!!
Black women must self love and start cutting out those that don’t love us. I as a natural hair wearing black woman have had my share of input from long, straight hair loving black men about how pretty it would be if, I’d relax it. all that is going on and it’s the damn hair again.
I prefer natural hair and styles FOR ME as they are safer and less damaging FOR ME, but no one has the right to talk this shit and dictate policy about our hair unless we let them. Wear what you want ladies
Cause all they gonna do is talk, talk, talk, talk. hair just like yours and they talk ish.
Its unfortunate that hair has become an issue not only in relationships but in the work place. The Army just instituted new rules against dreads, twists, braids, etc. because it looks “messy.” I actually believe they used the word unkempt but I could be wrong. It affects a womans chances of getting hired at a civilian job as well, especially in the food industry where you have to find a way to have it up and cute at the same time, and in the administrative/business field where you have to be “presentable.” That usually excludes our hair. No matter what college degree you have, you have to do something with your hair or they dont take you seriously. I think it boils down to male ego though. They have a vision and if youre going to be a woman in the work place you better look a certain way.
This what happens when you don’t have Black women in the higher ranks but they want Black women to serve. HA!
Thank you for this post.. you are right about this guy having deep seeded issues…this is slightly off topic but this same couple was on Dr. Phil also… I think that it is kinda odd they keep going to different t.v. shows …
He’s probably looking for a different response. LOL
Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have any
suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
Many thanks
I had an online conversation with this Black man commenting on a photo of native Australian Aborbingee with their natural blond hair about Black women wearing weaves. I didn’t see why this man was concerned about how Black women wore their hair especially when commenting on a picture on about Australian Aborbingees. I went in on him and gave him a piece of my mind.
It isn’t this his business how Black women wear their hair nor is it any body’s business how Black women wear their hair