image from gdcgraphics
For some reason we are witnessing the massive side eye of Lupita Nyong’o. I have my suspicions why. It’s the Black inferiority complex. It is amazing what 400 years of Black inferiority slave training and conditioning can do to you.
Black people have been worshiping White for so long that they cannot appreciate their own beauty. They are stunned, gobsmacked and even in denial to see a woman who looks like most Black women being celebrated. Why? Because they themselves have promoted the idea that authentic Black beauty, intelligence, dignity and grace isn’t worth being celebrated.
Don’t believe me? They call Black women bitches, hoes and baby mammas. They diss our intelligence, talent, hair, nose and skin. They reduce the Black woman’s image to a loud mouth, strong-willed and overbearing street brawler, ghetto gaggers and big booty sperm reciprocals in their music and entertainment. That’s if we are lucky. Most purposely render Black women invisible unless they need us to support their social and political causes, music or movies. Lupita, like Michelle Obama and countless other Black women challenge those images. They are quick to say Lupita is the exception but in reality, every single day we witness through the women in our families and friends that she is the rule.
They see Lupita’s beauty being exulted and instantly are suspicious because it is their own. The beauty they rejected in favor of another. Have y’all seen the conspiracy posts already? I have. Some people are so lost and that they cannot handle seeing Black beauty being admired and so they are waiting for another shoe to drop. Like she is some CIA plant that is too good to be true, smh. Pinch yourself. This isn’t a dream. This is real. Others have said, they are “sick of seeing her.” Um, these are the same people who stan on the internets for the Halles, Lenas, Rihannas and other women who look like them for generations. Not once have they called these mixed-race Black identified beautiful women “over exposed.” Ask yourself why?They are all in the entertainment industry. It’s because she is dark skin and you are uncomfortable with that. Deep down ya’ll know it’s the truth. FYI, being exposed is Lupita’s job so get over it.
The caveats, the side-eyes and suspicion are intraracism and colorism showing it’s ass on a massive scale. It is so ingrained in the Black psyche, like racism with Whites, we are blinded to its affects. Be honest. Colorism has been accepted as the norm in the Black population. Case in point, how many times has anyone said Beyonce is pretty for a light skin girl? Well within moments of Lupita winning her Oscar I saw many post and comments saying Lupita is “pretty for a dark skin girl.” Massive sigh!!
Before you throw shade or your side eye ask yourself where does your fear and suspicion come from? Can’t we just celebrate all kinds of Black women? As Robert F. Kennedy said, “There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not” so why not? When accepting her Oscar, Lupita said, “When I look down at this golden statue may it remind me and every little child that no matter where you’re from your dreams are valid” and millions of little Black girls and boys saw her and thought to themselves, yes they are. That’s something worth celebrating.
So true, sis. I had to put this on my Facebook. They’re using the word “Fettish” to describe Lupita. Yet Beyonce and Rihanna are just stars.
YEP!!!
Thank you so much for sharing!
Awesome post. The truth in verity!
Thanks Duane.
In reading this article it sounds as if the author is the victim of the same conditioning she is accusing people that are tired of seeing Lupita of. I think the sentiment people have is the fact that we already know black is beautiful and Lupita is beautiful. I think “THEY” deeming her this natural beauty and constantly bombarding us with it is patronizing, We don’t need for “THEM” to acknowledge our beauty for we already know we are beautiful. Anybody could easily accuse the author of taking the “SCRAPS” “THEY are throwing us in saying she’s this undeniable beauty. Yes she is but LOOK DEEPER. Only after playing the role of a “SLAVE” and a “CONCUBINE” did they give her any credit. Angela Bassett is just as beautiful and most of her roles are the triumphant black woman. She played Betty Shabazz and Tina Turner and nailed both performances and she didn’t nearly get as much attention.. I challenge the author to LOOK DEEPER before she accuses black people of seeing things for what they are..
Amen, I agree with you about the author.
@tt - My sentiments exactly! The only thing I would disagree is the fact that she played a slave being a big deal. Why should that matter? She played an important role to depict an important story by a film director that didn’t patronise the issue. But everything else you said is spot on.
I think the writer should consider that perhaps some of us haven’t relied on the media to define our images of beauty. Some of us have always found black women of all shades beautiful no matter how dark or light and when suddenly white western media declares Lupita as beautiful we’re thinking “no shit Sherlock”.
I’ll speak for myself when I say I am glad that Lupita is getting recognition because she is a talented woman and it is true that women of her skin tone and from Africa don’t normally have international opportunities so she is breaking boundaries. However, I find that black women are treated like trends in the media. Hyped to the extreme and then suddenly they move on. I think a lot of black people are cautious about treating Lupita like a trend. She was in a popular Kenyan show called Shuga and she was good in that. Africa has already seen her talent but it’s only when Hollywood does that it suddenly becomes validated? Not for me. This is the early stage of her international career. With an Oscar under her belt she is already doing very well and I personally want to be someone that sits back and watches her progress, learn and do great things.
One thing I’ve noticed is that there seems to only ever be room for one black person to be admired at a time. Walk to Freedom has been forgotten already (and with that Idris Ebla and Naomi Harris) and not much has been said about Chiwetel Ejiofor’s leading performance. It also seems as though black people need to be perfect in the media for people - especially black people I would say - to admire them. If Lupita suddenly said she was an atheist for example can you imagine how the black community would react?
All too often self-hate is the assumption that is jumped to whenever people reject what we expect them to accept but if one scratches beneath the surface then they will see that there are often wider issues at play.
Thank you Bougie Black Girl. You hit the mail squarely on the head. Perfect analysis. @tt-what you have written might be true, but there is no evidence so called African Americans believe that dark Black skin + short coiled hair +African features = beauty. There is NO evidence. Giving mere lip service to the phrase “Black is Beautiful” is not the same as embracing it as a reality. Please provide ONE example of a dark complected Black woman with short natural hair and African features who has been celebrated as a beauty in any media forum controlled by so called African Americans. Regardless of the field of endeavor you may choose women like Lupita have been ignored by Blacks in this country be it In entertainment, news, politics or another field.
You talk about the scraps being given to Lupita by the other, Black people on the whole don’t even think she deserves that which is why the crabs in the barrel are clawing at her so eagerly.
Thank you for commenting
That’s a good point. It is definitely true that so-called black entertainment in American has been responsible for ignoring beauty like Lupita’s. Here in the UK, as many black people are African or Caribbean diaspora, it probably isn’t as extreme as the US though still bad. Heck, even in Naija, lad of the weaves, there isn’t as much representation. But then this is in mainstream. Depending on your interests and where you source your media from you will find images what you call atypical sub-Saharan African beauty.
I think tt’s point is that to assume that people giving the “side-eye” to the hype over Lupita are all self-haters is rather narrow and doesn’t take into consideration that there are other perspectives from different people who. like Bougie Black Girl, are aware that Lupita’s beauty is ignored by the media. Some people find it patronising and other’s are cautious about following what they see as a trend. There is no one black mindset and we should consider different perspectives rather than jumping to the “they must be self-hating blacks”.
The evidence is when you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror. We don’t need anybody to tell us we are beautiful. We already know this.
Unfortunately Lupita clearly made the point herself, she couldn’t think of herself as beautiful until the media’s acceptance of kind of beauty ( i. e. Aleck the model) as beautiful. It ain’t right, but it is what it is.
Your right… Though the same media outlets that made her feel like her beauty was NOT acceptable are now turning around and saying her beauty IS acceptable. Its seems as if people are waiting for validation of something that should already be validated within themselves. Do we truly need “them” to decide what is beautiful as far as black people are concerned. NO we don’t. Do we wait for them to tell us “Hey dark skin women are okay now…YES we do.
I appreciate that she takes her position as role model to other victims of self-hate seriously. She herself was a victim and needed to see someone like her be appreciated in order to appreciate herself so now she is being that person for others. The other good to come of this is that the media tells us (everyone) who to like and now they will be much more likely to be ok with telling “us” it is ok to value dark-skin meaning many more doors will be opened. It happened after Sidney Poitier and it will happen again. She is poised, kind, educated and beautiful. A great role model in a land of Nicki Minajs and Rhiannas. A lady.
“From the writers mind, to the producers checkbook, to the directors chair, and from the actors mouths, a game is played in which a Black audience will flock to the theaters to support their own, share a laugh, and honor their artists in a Black movie.
And as each member of that collaboration shares their props along the red carpet, they laugh too. Except for the Black audience, who peers behind the scenes in dismay and claims that race doesn’t matter, when it actually mattered to everyone else in the chain—who is counting their profits.” - “I’m going to have to ask you to NOT do that”.
Good article, but I just wanted to point out that Rihanna is not of mixed raced. Both of her parents are dark skinned black people. I would like to ask a question that is concerning me. My 5 year old daughter came to me the other day and said she hates being black and wants to be white. I don’t know where she got that from, as I have always since she was a baby told her how pretty she is and how beautiful and long her hair is. So I am wondering what possessed her to say that? Her teacher is white and she told me one day that my daughter is really gorgeous and photogenic and showed me a picture that she took of my child. My baby is dark skinned with beautiful long wavy hair that comes almost to her waist. She is very beautiful so I am just curious on how a child that young would think white is better.
Thank you for commenting. Our children are being bombarded with White supremacists images on TV that reinforce the myth of Black inferiority. Rihanna identifies as multiracial and I respect her choice. “. Ri’s father, Ronald Fenty, is of Barbadian and Irish ancestry, while her mother, Monica Braithwaite, is Afro-Guyanese—meaning she descends from black inhabitants of Guyana, a country on the northern coast of South America.” http://hellobeautiful.com/2012/08/16/rihanna-ethnicity/
Love the post, but I read the Author say “Rihanna identifies as being multiracial” & that’s not true. I’ve never heard Ri call herself anything other than Black. I’m 23, I bought her 1st album in HS & she’s always claimed black. Remember the twitter scandal of her cursing out the White girl who asked “Why does your hair look like that?” & she replied “Cause I’m Black bitch!” ? Someone may have written about the specifics of her fathers race in an article before, but she herself has ALWAYS claimed to be a Black Bajan. I totally understand the bias that comes with being a dark skinned woman, I have 5 sisters we are all lighter in complexion except for 1 & it caused her great stress amongst the ignorant. I totally feel for this issue, but we also need to stop making light skinned the “opposite” of dark skinned. We are ALL Black. And no matter the hue, “they” all see us the same, as they should! I totally agree it’s easier for a light skinned woman to make it in the industry, but I see it as a win for our culture nonetheless. Beyonce, Rihanna, Alicia Keys etc have had enormous Global success & they have millions of little white girls WISHING they were them. That’s incredible & it’s helping race relations as a whole. How can little Suzy believe what her grandpa says about black people when her Idol is Beyonce? She’s amazing! She’s beautiful, talented, cool..she’s “the Queen”! These white girls obsess over their beauty & talent & almost worship them. This was not the case 50 years ago. This is a win for ALL Black women. Light skinned or not there was a time NONE of us were on TV, in movies, magazines etc. I think of the little White girl from Toddlers & Tiaras saying “I love to tan, because I get to be Brown like Beyonce” that little girl didn’t see “light brown” like we do, she saw BLACK. Period. Black women are beautiful in all shades, that’s what makes us special. Don’t let “them” divide us.
I’ve found that a lot of Black women are irritated with the praise of Lupita N.’s beauty, not because they “don’t need White peopel to achknowledge that Balck is beautiful” but because they feel slighted. Many of them do not see her as beautiful, because she’s “too dark”, and can’t comprehend why non-Blacks, partuicularly Whites, would. Also, they want to be seen the same way that she is and seem to feel that praise of her beauty and grace is somehow taking something away from them.
The Black men on the other hand, seem worried (not “concerned”) that a majority of Black women will no longer believe that “no one wants a Black woman” and will cease tolerating the hate, indifference and abuse of BM and the BC in general.
Just my two cents.
This comment should not have been posted as a reply, but I don’t know how to change it. Sorry.
Really agree with you.
I believe your daughter is being influenced by her peers. Peer group thinking, foir children, is a lot more powerful than the media. And they get their ideas from both parents and what they see in the media, but also what they see around them. Also, it means more to girls if their father thinks that they are beautiful.
The side eye is not directed at her it’s directed at the academy for only awarding #Oscars to black women for slave roles or for playing a wh*re degenerate (Monster’s Ball & Precious). #Nyong’o is fresh out of college, this is her first major role and she gets an Oscar before someone like Angela Basset and its for playing an abused slave? Smdh. Also some Oscar voters admitted not seeing the movie but still voted for it. These accolades just gives an allowance to green light more slave movies. It’s like some entities want to keep opening up old wounds and triggering PSTD within Black Americans with these movies.
http://ca.movies.yahoo.com/blogs/wide-screen/two-oscar-voters-admit-voting-12-years-slave-175145265.html
I’m not saying I completely disagree with you, but can you please explain what’s wrong with movies about slavery? I live in Europe and believe me, every other book that’s being written is about the Holocaust. Most big budget movies here are about the 2nd World War where the Holocaust again plays an important role.
Why shouldn’t we have more movies about slavery, when that period in time still affects us so much albeit indirectly? And I get that you want to see movies where black people prosper, and/ or are heroes etc. But to me, the slaves featured in those movies are also heroes, they are survivors! They survived that terrible ordeal, and left us this incredible culture that is still thriving in the USA, the Caribbean etc in spite of all the negative. In my humble opinion we can’t have enough movies about slavery. Telling the stories of our ancestors, who for a long time were enslaved is a good way to honor them, I think.
Whats wrong with slave movies? I have to agree with you. I don’t get people’s thinking here. Nothing seems to please some folks. I betcha if a Lupita (BW) did a science fi movie, someone would still complain. I say be happy for this BW, period.
Great read. Thanks for your honesty. I totally agree with you! One day we will truly see and believe black is beautiful.
Love every bit of dialog surronding Lupita, her beauty, black women, colorism, film, the industry…yet another great perspective.
Well I havnt seen any comments where people imply or state that lupita is unusually pretty for a dark black girl but am sure as you said that they are out there. What I have seen though us black people acting as if she’s going to be their saviour. As if it is the first time a girl like this has been seen. I notice ‘Lupitas’ everywhere and although am happy for her exposure I’ve not gone over the top.do we really Hollywood approval for us to see the black female beauty in all shades ? I do take issue that lupita looks like most black women, she dosnt look anymore like most black women than the Rihanna’s or Beyonce, we come in all shapes, sizes and hues and Luputa being a dark skinned beauty dosnt make her more black than the others. I think we need to be careful when talking about this issue not to generalise about what we as black women look like as our shade , features and hair is varied and our beauty is an individual thing rather than based on any combination of the above . lupita being beautiful does not make another dark skinned woman beautiful just in that fact alone, just as Rhianas beauty suggest that light skinned women are pretty by that fact alone. Even though I can see the significance of Lupita getting this exposure and what it will mean for a lot if people that needs a public figure to cling to feel good about themselves .
Agreed Alicia!
I appreciate the dialogue that I see here. It seems that people are thinking before they speak. I would like everyone to consider the fact that ‘Hollyweird’ portrays exactly what it wants to and what was ‘in’ last week will be ‘out’ next week. For instance - Full figured woman are ‘out’ (of any shade) but full figured men are funny. Sandra Bullocks’ nose is OK but Jewish women in the industry still chop off their noses. Black men almost never have natural hair but black women do (If they do it’s a ghetto guy). These clowns do whatever it takes to play with your finances. They are not thinking about role models or morals. The same goes for sports figures. When I hear people in the black community putting down a sports figure for their bad choices it makes me wonder why. Why did they think this ball player gave a… They don’t and that’s why. Please don’t put the world on ‘their’ shoulders. With that being said I salute Lupita for being both beautiful and intelligent!
What can I say to this excellent commentary but Amen? Nothing.
This woman is beautiful inside and out. This so called fetish is nothing more than admiration based on her beauty/brains.Great Article “Bougie Black Girl”!
You are welcome Bougie Black Girl!
A great article , i love your honesty. I find it very sad that few people can recognize the natural beauty of dark skinned women , add that together with a big heart which most seem to have (my own personal opinion) and it breeds a lot of jealousy and hatred in small minded people. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be beautiful.
I’m talking as a white guy that finds a lot of black women beautiful! Most white guys who date IR don’t care how light or dark you are. In for a penny in for a pound! Lupita has gorgeous blemish free skin, warm brown eyes and a mega watt smile! Personally, I think the red lips put her over the top Peoples Most Beautiful award.