Young Woman Thinking — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis
It makes me so sad when I see Black women support hateful Black male misogynists. I have seen brilliant Black women who I have known for years share and like posts, videos and memes from these sick people. It makes me shake my head because I don’t understand.
You know, I understand why Black male misogynists do it. They do it because they are weak, powerless and make money from it. Rap music does it. But Black women? I just don’t understand why any Black woman would support these people. Don’t Black women know that they control the wealth in the Black community? Do these Black women realize that without their financial and social media support these men would not have a stage to spew their hate on? The truth is that these misogynist Black men would go back to hating “de White man” while trying to screw his daughter. Do these Black women love themselves? Don’t these Black women realize they are acting against their own interests?
Look, these misogynistic Black men, engage in double think. They mock our skin, hair and noses. The same features they have. These misogynist Black men abhor racist stereotypes used against them but have no problem using it against you, a Black woman. They tell you they hate you while supposedly love being Black. Heck, because their daddies abandoned and/or abused them they blame the one woman who raised them. They blame their mother. Black women remind them of her and so they hate you. They are admitted Black White supremacists. Who needs the KKK when brotherman wants to erase and end your existence?
Are the Black women who support these people suffering from Stockholm syndrome? Probably! You have traditionally Black religious and social entities that tell Black women that being Black trumps being a woman. The truth is we can’t separate it. Being Black and a woman is what makes us whole. It is who we are.
I will once again reiterate that Black women can’t change Black male misogynists. It doesn’t matter if we change our supposed attitudes or looks. It doesn’t matter how much good will you have. It doesn’t matter how much you call them Black king or buy their books. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell them you are not like the Black women they wrongly despise. They will never give and return the same support and loyalty you have given them. They will never accept you. They don’t want you. They will never love you but will they hate you.
My advice to sisters who support Black male misogynist is never let your race based loyalty to someone who hates you trump your own dignity and humanity. My sister, you are worthy of love, kindness and respect because you are a human being with feelings and emotions. You have hopes and dreams and deserve to pursue them. You sister, have a right to exist.
Black women who support Black male misogynist are like chicken supporting KFC. I simply don’t understand because I place my interests first. Sis if you can’t help yourself, if you have to support someone who hates you and would love to remove you from existence perhaps you need to look inside yourself. You can do it. Learn to love yourself.
Good read and amen!
Thank you for reading.
You are totally my best friend. *In my head*
Aw shucks. Thank you. You are pretty awesome too.
I think some of these women do it out of fear and a need for acceptance. Men that do that regardless of color and background don’t love us and want nothing, but the worse for us and then you have those that are neutral and won’t tear you down, but won’t warn or protect you. It is up to us to stop giving these men and women support. Black men don’t put up with this let black women say something black men don’t like and see how fast they call you out even over legit stuff. How many times have you heard don’t air our dirty laundry, but they the first to do it. Protect you first and warn like minded individuals of these to stay away cause no good can come from this situation.
Black women have been living the edict ‘Black first, Women second’ for so long till they can’t see the forest for the trees. It also doesn’t help that across American society its ‘All the Blacks are Men, All the Women are White’…and so mix these two things together and you have a bitches brew of self loathing and confusion. Lord help us.
Sojourner Truth nailed it back in the 19th century when she was being jeered at by white folks. The following quote addressed the insensitivity of white women, white men, and black men, to the unique issues of black women: ” There is a great stir about colored men getting their rights and not colored women theirs, you see the colored men will be masters over the women, and it will be just as bad.” If she could see this in the 19th century, what does it say about black women in the 21st century who are okay with their own subordination in the name of black “progress?”
Reading this was refreshing and painful at the same time. It was like taking a band aid off of a cut that won’t heal. Entirely necessary but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. As a mom of two boys I pray my sons get it and not have that same mentality that destroys so many woman who society has decided to label “angry” or “strong. I cannot understand how we as women are more than willing to go to the mat for some brothers who could care less.
This article has blessed me as it will many women when they read it. I will be sharing this with all of my friends. It is so wonderful to know that I am not alone in my thoughts about this subject.
My favorite part…
“Don’t Black women know that they control the wealth in the Black community? Do these Black women realize that without their financial and social media support these men would not have a stage to spew their hate on?”
#Truth God Bless you for blessing our community with this wonderful read!
I got away from this groupthink long ago (25 yrs to be exact). It has been very healing. I hope more of my intelligent, beautiful, loving ,creative sisters use these talents to benefit themselves more…It’s not SELFISH it’s SURVIVAL..Peace
If I could offer a more twisted point of view. Only from my American point of view and only about African American men!
The problem with black men isn’t so much their misogyny (though I take nothing from that). It is also their complete incompetence ( as a collective).
They aren’t the stronger sex. Yet they want to pretend like they are. The reason they do well with a white women is because they allow her to run the ship as they accept her superiority.
Yet they treat black women like co-prisoners that they are condemned to room with until they are free to find a non-black woman to worship. Most black women know this and that is why we don’t respect them.
Real talk, the smartest most successful black men realize that his woman is his greatest asset. He respects her for her superior intellect, and she respect him for his protection.
Misogyny is a terrible thing, but there is nothing worse than a controlling man who doesn’t know what the heck he is doing. These men have driven this ship into the ground trying to mimic the white culture structure. Other cultures have the same problem of misogyny, but we have the wicked combo-dumb as heck and misogyny are an explosive mix.
In conclusion, for the sake of all things heavenly, black women should stop with this fake loyalty. We all know we resent them.
We are upset they are weakened so easily. And, they are the most easily sexually manipulated. Married women live in constant fear that their husband will leave them for a 2-bit tramp.
Yes, black men actually leave good women for tramps-not just cheat.
Married white man not so much (not that they are automatically better) but I know that if he began to cheat, he would never be dumb enough to leave me for a tramp.
He understands the importance of a good woman and wouldn’t leave me for a tramp-Maybe for another good woman, but not a tramp. ( do you follow?)
Tramps are like fall leaves, they are everywhere and easy to collect. Black men are leave collectors. Of course right? They don’t like to put work in for women, so tramps are the perfect choice for them. Finding a good woman would require him to admit we are intellectually superior to men. So a dumb tramp makes him feel like a man!
As a black women I admit, I am done with black men and so is my v-jay. I can offer him nothing but resentment and critical comment.
So, I offer him nothing. Good luck to the Ameircan black race and the black man, but I will no longer walk the hot sidewalk in bare feet for the black man. He is his own worst enemy. As women, we aren’t responsible for the survival of a people. We are responsible helping the best man reproduce. We need to stop propping black men up. Let them fight for what they think is their. Stop giving it to them.
They are spoiled with our undeserved attention and coddling of them. They thank us by publicly bashing us….. Yes, my ladies I am bashing. Then publicly because someone has to call a gigolo a gigolo.
Women, we are to vote with our feet and may the best man win. If black America is white washed, this that is just what happened.
Wow, thank you so much for this post. All to often I place being black of being woman. Thank you for helping me reaffirm that I deserve love and respect and ultimate equality.