wtf

A while back I was talking to some of my girlfriends. We had started talking about what we found unattractive in potential partners. We all found ourselves pretty much in agreement.  Here is a list of 13 douchebaggy things guys do to turn a woman off.

  1. You talk about sex all the damn time. Yes, we get it. You are in heat but do you have to bring this up on the first, second or third date? It’s unattractive and lame as hell.  If you are that thirsty be real and hire a pro. If you can’t afford one porn and your right hand always works.
  2. Sag your pants. I don’t want to see your undies. It’s gross and you look foolish trying to walk. By the way, if you are getting your fashion cues from prison what else are you getting from there?(-_-)
  3. Ask a woman how many partners she has had. Um, you totally reek of immaturity. If you have to ask, you are probably not the first and it probably means you won’t be her best. You are insecure and projecting. Set your ego aside and get over it.
  4. Wear gold teeth. It’s ugly plus your breath stinks. That is all.
  5. Selling dreams just to get ass. If you just want sex that just say so. She will respect you for it. Maybe you’ll get it and maybe you won’t. So what. Move on. You know what?  Lying only hurts your partner and is a waste of time. Life is too short.
  6. Complain to her about your ex. You sound like a whiny baby. No one likes a complainer. Talking about your ex all the time only means one thing. You want to be with her.  Go be with her and if she isn’t interested in you, go seek professional help and get over it. You shouldn’t be dating until you move on anyway.
  7. Use a coupon on a date. If you have to use a coupon for a date because you are broke perhaps you shouldn’t be dating until your finances are in order. Just saying. When we date, like peacocks, we are showing off our best to find a potential with a mate.  Nothing says a bright future with poverty and struggle to a partner than pulling out a coupon on the first date. Sexy!!!
  8. Look at other women when your girlfriend/wife is there with you. You have no respect for yourself or your partner.  And if you think the women you are looking at are interested in you I am going to let you in on a secret. They aren’t. They thanking their lucky stars that your disrespectful ass isn’t their problem. You’re her problem.
  9. Buy a women dinner and expect sex for a happy meal. We are not exchanging dinner for ass. If you want ass seek the “assistance” of a professional.
  10. Text instead of calling. We know if you are texting all the time instead of calling it means you have someone. You aren’t fooling anyone. Some suckers will fall for it and think sending <3 means you really care but most won’t. People who want to develop meaningful relationships know that building a healthy loving relationship requires time and effort. Texting is for hookups. Go pro.
  11. Calling a woman after 9:00 pm. It means it’s a booty call. It hurts her feelings because we know all you want is ass. Only the desperate will fall for it or women who just want a walking dildo. I prefer option number two.
  12. Take it personally when we are not interested in you. I’ve been called out of my name on numerous  occasions for having the nerve not interested in a man who tried to talk to me. No dude on the corner, I am not interested in you. Yeah Drunk guy, I ain’t interested in you. Pervy old man in the car, no thank you sir. And even when I said I was married unscrupulous men would then ask me if we can be friends. Hell to the naw, nasty ass.
  13. Feel like you are entitled to any woman because you are a “good man. You want a cookie for doing what you are supposed to do like um, having a job, can read, no litters of children and no inmate number? What da blood clot? Oh European Jesus, we should just get on our knees and thank our lucky stars dat dis good man dun given us attention! Man please. I have standards. Your best is my mediocrity.

So what do you think? Have you encountered this type of douchebaggery? I have. Feel free to add, delete, disagree, just laugh or send this to your douchebaggy friend so he would take a hint. Remember the only limit you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.

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