Black women are under attack. Yes attack. It sounds harsh, but there’s an unorganized campaign to destroy the lives of Black women by promoting struggle love through media and art. What is “struggle love propaganda?” Struggle love propaganda are memes, videos, music, hotepian art, etc spread in social media and created by men to get cheap ass from women without putting in work. These memes ask you to fix a man, build a man, settle for any ole man, don’t ask for child support, and settle for being treated like trash for the rest of your life.
You’ll tend to see women with no standards say “yes” and “pick me” to struggle love propaganda in comment sections of social media sites. Women do this because they have no self esteem, they’re lonely, will settle for any ashy peen and/or they just don’t know better. Struggle love propaganda is aimed at Black women because the meme’s creators know the Black women’s pool of potential partners, if you limit yourself to just Black men, is incredibly limited. Some Black woman is probably saying “my brother”, “my dad,” or “my man” is a good Black man. You were lucky. I married one. The fact is the numbers prove otherwise.
Why is the pool of Black men limited? Here are some facts. There are 1.9 million more Black women than Black men. Approximately 33% of Black men have been in the criminal justice system. Black men’s unemployment rate is 9.1%. That’s the highest in the U.S. We haven’t even touched Black men who aren’t available because they are gay or married to Black or nonBlack women. Black women’s college attendance rate is one of the highest in the nation at 32% while Black men’s is only 23% and other issues. The point is Black people who create these memes want Black women to settle because the pool of eligible Black men isn’t big. Before you call me bitter, I’m not being mean. I’m not bashing. I am stating cold hard facts.
SELECTED POPULATION PROFILE IN THE UNITED STATES more information
2015 American Community Survey 1-Year Estimates (Black Only)
Have you ever seen these memes directed at Asian women, Latino women or even White women? No, because these communities expect men to be providers. They also expect women to marry up. Unlike the Black community, wanting a man who can provide a high quality of life for his potential family isn’t gold digging, but the smart thing to do to avoid multigenerational poverty and encourage inheritance. Heck, even Black men have standards. How many memes, songs or videos have you seen or heard where Black men asked if a Black woman can cook, clean, love God, work while being submissive, be natural, but her hair can’t be too nappy, not cheat while being in a polygamist relationship, is a virgin while sexing like a 40-year-old stripper, has to have it all together while trying to fix and uplift him and I could go on. Just like Black men, there is nothing wrong with Black women having standards. Having standards will allow you and your children, if you choose to have them, to have a great life.
Look sis, the courtship stage is when men try to impress you the MOST. It sets the tone of the relationship. If you accept less during the courtship stage, most of the time, you’ll get less during the relationship. If you’re a cheap date, your relationship will be on the cheap. Men who promote this trash want and expect ass and wife duties for the price of a movie ticket, a vanilla milk shake and large GMO fries. Aren’t you worth more than that? Have standards and keep them. Men respect a woman with standards much more than cheap and a mediocre accepting woman. Let a love deserving of you, find you.
The only limit you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.
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I had never heard of struggle love until Jaheim did the song. While the song has a nice beat I kept wondering who wants to struggle!
I think young people who are just starting out, both of them are broke are okay with struggle love. I tell people that I’m closer to retirement than I am just entering the dating world and I’m not about that struggle love.
I understand what the song means, but still. If you have to struggle then your priorities need to be on getting your crap together.
I will add that if you are in high school and college; then I get it. You don’t have a pot to p*** in. My dad always told my brothers not to ask for money to go on a date. “If you don’t have money to go on dates; then don’t ask women out until you do.”
Welcome the author and your readership to listen to episode 2 of Divergent Thought where the hosts and guests speak at length about the abundance of black professional females, the consequences of marrying someone less educated, marrying outside your race, and online dating. Listen to the podcast Episode 2 on iTunes or at http://www.blis.fm/divergent. Tune into Divergent Thought on every Wednesday at BLIS.FM or via the TuneIn app.
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No woman should accept a date at McDonald’s unless it’s your first ever date maybe. Totally agree with having standards for yourself and not only in the dating world but life in general. Black women as a whole should be treated a lot better than they are and not only by black men but by everyone period. It pain’s my heart to see the sh*t black women have to put up with here in the US and nobody cares.
If you have standards you will attract a higher quality mate whatever the colour of his/her skin maybe. Character over colour any day of the week.
Wow. I have never heard of this until this post. Why do we put up with kind of nonsense? This post has me seriously thinking about becoming a mentor to young, impressionable Black girls. Someone’s got to steer them in the right direction because Black females seem to be our only hope for saving the Black race.
These memes bother the heck out of me. I understand what you’re saying. I make a really good living, but I won’t date a man that makes more than 10k less than I do. I don’t. Men get mad as hell when I say that. I ask them how it’s okay for them to not date me because I’m a plus size cutey but it’s not okay for me to do the same because his money doesn’t match mine. It becomes crickets. LOL.
If men are MEN and women are WOMEN, black people won’t have these problems. For me, this is not an issue, but I am concerned about the level of lack of seriousness on the part of black men. God! What happened? How did they allow black women to dictate what they should have? I am African. In Africa, for the most part, men are providers, and women are helpers. What happened here?
The 21st Century. Women are no longer regulated to taking care of just the home and kids. Plus a lot of women have bigger dreams then sitting at home waiting for hubby to come back from work.
Oh and women are not property. So men have no say so in what they “allow” us to do!
If the men in Africa were real providers, then the world’s largest continent would be on an economic par with much smaller countries (like the United States), and would not, in fact, be the world’s largest purveyor of poverty, famine, and AIDS.
I am so glad I stopped dealing with black men and their struggle. I date white men exclusively and my life couldn’t be better. No drama. No struggles. Just LOVE,RESPECT,EQUALITY,and STABILITY. Those are things I could never have with a trifling black man.
We need to support our Black men. Black men naturally have a harder struggle than any other race. We as Blacks need to stick together and support each other period. That’s what’s wrong now. A Black man can become a good Black man if he has a good supportive woman by his side. The Black man is in a crisis. You can fairly compare our race to other races. White women automatically are more submissive and supportive to their men. So memes are not necessary to encourage. It’s natural in most cases. And I think that’s one of the reasons Black men sometimes prefer White women. Black women need to be more supportive. We are all the Black man has. And if we can’t support our men nobody will. Then they go get a Becky because she will do what we won’t do. Stop promoting disunity in our race. A woman should support her Black man as long as he is trying to be about something. And both people should bring something to the table. I disagree with this post.