Image via Moongazeponies.deviantart.com
Release the Kraken!! It is summer and guess what? We once again are going to be flooded with articles on how Black women are supposed be oh so resentful of Black men who pursue IR. There is even a book about President Obama ‘s past relationship. Really? Sigh.
Well I seen this article “I’m Dating a White Girl. Will Sisters be Mad?” It was in the Root, of course! I agreed with some of the author’s response. But I didn’t feel like it went far enough. I honestly feel that people who believe that I give a hot bucket of spit who anyone else is dating or even their motives are conjuring the stereotypes of colonial and antebellum’s past. You know the strong Black Women, Sapphire stereotypes. Let me snap my neck and roll my eyes. I am so bad at it. For one thing, that stereotype was a TOOL used to dehumanize and defeminize Black Women. Yes, that ball busting Madea chick is as old as slavery in the United States. This tool was then used to justify the rape and chattelization of Black women. Those people that believe it is real are nothing but plantation dwellers. They should make some new friends. Travel. Expand their circle of Black women. I do not know who you know, but the folks that I know, that you don’t, do not act like that. Break free of your mental chains. That image isn’t real.
Back to the topic
Any ways I personally could care less about who someone dates. I don’t wince, flinch or even pay attention. I am too busy trying to live. Why should I care about who someone else is with? They don’t care about me. “If you ain’t paying my bills you ain’t saying nothing.” And since they aren’t paying my bills I don’t care! If you care about me I do have a pay pal account if you are interested in donating to the Help Bougie get out of the Student Loan Bondage fund.
I remember when I was in the service and one of my Black male friends said to me that, “you don’t care who I date? I looked at him expressionless and dead in the face and flatly said, “no.” Why should I? For me personally, skin color isn’t the only marker of solidarity and commonality. I cared because he was my friend and that was it. I am not going to toss my skivves to anyone because he happens to Black . I could care less who sees what’s in his. The 13th amendment was signed and slavery is over. You are not my Black man. Go live. Be happy and love who ever you want to love. I don’t own you and you most certainly do not own me like Bank of A****** does (student loans).
Listen folks, do I have the same hue as the Black dudes who stand at the corner that drink all day? Yes. Do we have anything else in common? Hell to the no. “Skin folk ain’t kin folk.”
Let go and go love.
That is how you have to see it. Why should you invest your precious time and resources into someone who could care less about you? Color struck, intra-racist or not. You want to fight the power against the man? Get solar and go green. I know the realization hurts. I know it scary to venture out but do it. You will never regret it. If someone is not reciprocating their affection, loyalty and love for you move on!
More on Ms. Sapphire in case you are wondering:
Sapphire: The Sapphire Caricature portrays Black women as rude, loud, malicious, stubborn, and overbearing. This is the Angry Black Woman (ABW) popularized in the cinema and on television. She is tart-tongued and emasculating, one hand on a hip the other pointing and jabbing (or arms akimbo), violently and rhythmically rocking her head, mocking African American men for offenses ranging from being unemployed to sexually pursuing White women. She is a shrill nagger with irrational states of anger and indignation — prone to being mean-spirited and abusive. Although African American men are her primary targets, she has venom for anyone who insults or disrespects her. The Sapphire’s desire to dominate and her hyper-sensitivity to injustices means that she is a perpetual complainer, but she does not criticize to improve things; rather, she criticizes because she is unendingly bitter and wishes that unhappiness on others. The Sapphire Caricature is a harsh portrayal of African American women, but it is more than that; it is a social control mechanism that is employed to punish Black women who violate the societal norms that encourage Black women to be passive, servile, non-threatening, and unseen.
Source: Ferris University
Great article. I think it’s sad that some men have to keep pretending that BW still care what they do just feel good about themselves. Do they not realize that they are just telling the whole world that they have no life and better sense of self than that? They also forget that younger generations of BW have grown up understanding BM interracial preference as normal and don’t feel the wince. I don’t understand why they don’t realize how sad they are.
Thank you
I couldn’t have put it any better! Your blog is really refreshing and entertaining 🙂
Thank you.: )
“If someone is not reciprocating their affection, loyalty and love for you move on!”
It really is that simple. I live in Canada and I am so over BW who concern themselves with the dating habits of BM who don’t care about them, and for damn sure don’t care about BW as a collective. It makes BW look desperate and pittiful, and for the most part, the men they are bothering themselves over are REALLY not worth the time.