Young Woman Thinking — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis
I am probably going to get a lot of people mad about this post, but Black women need to talk about contraceptives and abortion. It seems like we can’t because in largely Black circles, there is a small but vocal minority that shame Black women for our reproductive and sexual choices. We have all seen the ads about abortion. We have dealt with the folks who shame Black women by calling us hoes, thots, etc. We have heard the nation building nonsense. I have always wondered why are they so worried about our reproductive choices. I have come to one conclusion.
First, we have to ask why they are against contraceptives and abortion but offer no practical means to care for children after they are born. Their reasoning is about the life of a child. That is admirable, but these same people are against government aid for children that would improve a child’s quality of life. So what is the real reason they are against a Black woman’s reproductive choice?
The thing is everyone knows that when Black women have children, children change our lives. If we are honest, having children can limit our social and economic opportunities. If we want to be real, I am talking about poverty. According to Bread.org, “nearly 50 percent of African-American households headed by a single mother live in poverty, compared to 42.2 percent of all U.S. single-mother households.” We haven’t even touched sexually transmitted diseases, and those numbers are really frightening. According to the Centers for Disease Control, “the fourth largest number of all new HIV infections in the United States in 2010 (5,300) occurred among African American women with heterosexual contact. What is even scarier is “of the total number of estimated new HIV infections among women, 64% (6,100) were in African Americans. Read more here.
Knowing these things why in the heck would anyone be against contraceptives is beyond me. The truth is deep down many people are against contraceptives and abortion because they want to punish sexually active Black women. I believe it is deeply rooted in religion, sexism and racism. Notice how many of these people cite religion for their beliefs. It is the women are evil idea because 6,000 years ago one woman ate an apple thing. It is the double standard where men can have sex with as many people as he can and he is still respected. If women have multiple partners she is disrespected. It is why people hang on to the old welfare queen myth when we know it is untrue. Because of those factors we’ve been conditioned to believe sexually active women are bad and sexually active Black women are really, really bad. Deep down they see poverty, disease and misery as punishment for our sinful sexual Jezebel ways.
Some might say, being pro-contraceptives and pro-choice means I am against children. Now don’t get me wrong. Children are wonderful. I have two myself, but it is not about that. I am just not naïve to the motives of others. Being anti-contraceptives and anti-abortion has always been about punishing women.
These are the reasons why I am pro-choice and pro-contraceptives. I want Black women to enjoy their sexual freedom, control their reproductive choices and have a great life. When you cannot express your sexuality it is hard to have a fulfilling life. When you have kids you cannot afford it is hard to have a great life. When you cannot control your healthcare decisions it is hard to have a great life. So if you use contraceptives or decide to have an abortion, I support you. You are doing what is right for you. If you don’t, it is your choice. You are doing what is right for you and I support you. All I ask is for you to respect the choices of all Black women.
One more thing. I am going to do what others are afraid to tell Black women. You have options sis. You can decide when you want to have children or if you don’t want children at all. You also have the right to protect yourself from sexually transmitted illnesses. Take a look at WomensHealth.gov’s list of contraceptives. Please consult your doctor before using any contraceptives and pick the one that is right for you. Finally, you have the right to live life on your terms.
Types of birth control
- Contraceptive sponge
- Diaphragm, cervical cap, and cervical shield
- Female condom
- Male condom
- Oral contraceptives — combined pill (“The pill”)
- Oral contraceptives — progestin-only pill (“Mini-pill”)
- The patch
- Shot/injection
- Vaginal ring
- Implantable rods
- Intrauterine devices
- Sterilization implant
- Surgical sterilization
The only limit you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.
If you like this post don’t forget to subscribe, share this post and or even donate to this blog. Join the internet’s only online forum exclusively for Black women here.
Check out my 5 steps to building a killer blog and make money from it course! Pay what you can.
Since you made it this far in the post, as my gift to you, I want you to download my free Change Your Mind, Change Your Life Goals and Action Plan Worksheets. The worksheets will help you create your goals and stick to them.
Have you seen someone you know living an unfulfilled life, and you are afraid of living that way? Are you unsure about achieving your goals and the direction of your life? Purchase my book Change Your Mind Change Your Destiny. It is “The lifestyle blueprint for the strategic Black woman who wants to win and master her life.” For only $2.99 and within hours you will be given tools created specifically for Black women to create goals and action steps to help you live the life of your dreams. Take the first step towards fulfilling your dreams. All you have to do is buy Change Your Mind Change Your Destiny today. We want to customize the forum for you. Don’t forget to take the 30 second survey here and tell us what you need. Thank you.
“(1) These people generally ONLY profess concern about fetuses. Once somebody is born, then the pro-forced-birth AAs’ actions demonstrate that they are no longer concerned about that particular individual’s life. This shows that their true motives are more likely driven by the pleasures of: (a) a cheap form of holiness that revolves around cracking the whip on women; and (b) comes at somebody else’s expense.
(2) The bulk of these people are NOT doing anything to clean up the current disasters created by the legions of existing unwanted, AA children. And they don’t have any sort of plan for how to clean this up. They’re not willing to risk endangering themselves and their biological children by taking these children into their homes. Not that I necessarily blame them. My issue is their lack of seriously thinking through the consequences of what they’re proposing (having even more unwanted AA children). As far as I’m concerned, this lack of follow-up thinking makes their position an utterly irresponsible one.
I’m not recommending that naive, unprepared people take these unwanted children into their homes. The “typical” parent can handle normal children. But the bulk of the children in foster care are NOT normal children. You really need specialized preparation to deal with most of them.
Anyone who has spent any amount of time working in the child welfare system (be it in court, or as a caseworker) can tell you an extremely ugly reality—many of the already existing discarded/taken away children in foster care are safety risks. For everybody around them. Many of them have negative genetic inheritances such as very low IQs and predispostions for severe mental illness. On top of these negative genetic inheritances, many of them have also been severely traumatized by their experiences of living with neglectful and abusive biological parents.
Nobody talks about the adopted toddlers who hoard food in their pockets. Or the toddlers who bang their heads against walls when they don’t get their way. Or the adopted first-graders who try to rub the genitals of every adult they encounter—because that’s what they’ve been trained to do by their mother’s new-baby-daddy. Or who masturbates in public. Or the adopted 8-year-old who sexually molests the adoptive parents’ younger biological children. Or who is revealed to be schizophrenic when they hit puberty. All of this came up during a post at the previous blog (which is now a chapter in the book—the chapter about single adoption being “Plan B” for many AA women who haven’t married by 35).
Nobody talks about the many failed adoptions that end up back in the child welfare courts.
I’ve never met a pro-forced-birth AA who had any sort of plan for dealing with the existing unwanted pregnancies that turned into the above-described deranged AA children. No, they’re through with the situation after the woman/girl gives birth.
(3) I’m annoyed by their often childish manner of evaluating ideas. Yes, it’s important to factor in who the source of a particular idea is. However, that’s only part of the scrutiny that should be given to ALL ideas, whatever their source. Even a stopped clock is factually correct twice a day.
(4) In addition to having no plan to clean up the existing mess created by existing unwanted AA children, the pro-forced-birth AAs don’t understand that the birth of more unwanted AA children will be the DEATH of the rest of us. Having an AA collective that is increasingly filled with low IQ, predisposed to be mentally ill, neglected and abused children who are likely to continue the abuse cycle when they grow up does NOT help any of us.
And let’s be real about our distate with so-called eugenics: The plain truth is that it’s the LEAST capable AAs who are having an ever-increasing proportion of AA births. Productive modern AAs generally don’t have more than 3 children. Many of our best and brightest BW are not having children (for a variety of reasons). Meanwhile, the AA female drug addicts, never-worked-a-day-in-their-lives welfare recipients, and criminals generally have at least 3-4 children—and it’s more like 5-6 births. This overall pattern does not bode well for the future of the AA collective.”
http://sojournerspassport.com/inception-and-african-americans/comment-page-1/#comment-5417
I’m tired of churchy black people who along with everybody else darn well know that the Earth doesn’t open up to swallow up the many white women and white girls who have had abortions and moved on with their lives to drag them down into hell so why are they going on as if that’s what will hapoen to black women and black girls then?
Inferiority complex personified. That plus they show everyday how much they hate black women and black girls or how indifferent they are to their general welfare and well-being….
These same people that claim to be concerned about black women’s use of contraception and abortion would be the first to ridicule the same woman for having a child out of wedlock. Further, they would not offer any help with the child and blame the woman for being loose. Women should absolutely take control of their reproductive health by any means necessary.
In other words, “Hypocrisy! Hypocrisy everywhere!”