Culture

10 things I trust more than Lauryn Hill showing up on time to her concert.

Image via screenshot

She actually showed up for this one

As some of you know, Lauryn Hill showed up three hours late, AGAIN to a concert! She did it in Atlanta last year. Read about it here. Here is her response:

Folks are upset and I don’t know why. You can’t complain when you know she has a history of this.

Y’all are gonna learn today. You see I don’t blame Hill. I don’t blame her one darn rooting tooting bit. I blame the folks buying her tickets. She’s done this before and you know it. Admit you’re gluttons for punishment. You have a better chance of winning the lotto, getting struck by lightning, your cat actually liking you, the student loan folks forgiving your loans, finding a husband in Atlanta and me eating nasty pig feet in the same day than Lauryn Hill showing up on time to a concert, let alone showing up.

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She did the same thing here in Memphis. I told my friends don’t buy a ticket. But did they listen? Nope! They learned the hard way when she canceled it a few days before the event.

Y'all really think she's going to show up on time.

Y’all really think she’s going to show up on time.

Think about it like this. Buying a Lauryn Hill ticket is like buying an Instagram dress made in China. You’re taking a risk. You won’t get what you paid for, it will be late and you’re lucky if you see the package. Sounds mean? I’m just being honest. It’s the NYC in me. Before someone calls me a hater, the truth is I love seeing Black women happy and making money. There is no doubt Lauryn Hill is an amazing talent, but be honest. Dis too much. Honestly, it’s flat-out unprofessional. This is sad, but the only way she’ll learn is by the fans ignoring her.

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So in honor of Miss Hill being on super sayian CPT, AGAIN here are 10 things I trust more than Lauryn Hill showing up on time to a concert:

1. Lending a crackhead $20 while they hold a crack pipe and expecting to get paid back
2. Buying a real Gucci bag on 42nd Street
3. The Kardashians in a room full of rich Black men
4. Ebay Plush Glass MACK  lip gloss (I misspelled MAC on purpose because the MAC products they sell aren’t real)
5. A Hotep’s ability to spell America correctly (Hotep spelling: Amerikkka)
6. Umar Johnson’s school opening
7. Vegan cheesecake
8. White people’s ability to season chicken
9. A Galaxy Note 7 in my pocket
10. Buying a tasty salmonella salad at Chipotle.

So for the folks who continue to buy her tickets, may the odds be in your favor. Thank you for doing the things others won’t do. The rest of us are learning from you. Nah son, we’re actually laughing at you. Anyway, thanks for reading this post. Share it and remember the only limit you have is the one you’ve placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.

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Y’all still buying Lauryn Hill tickets?

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1 comment

  1. SweetTsp 2 February, 2017 at 10:49 Reply

    LOOOOOOL! I say the same thing about her and Erykah Badu. You get what you deserve for continuing to enable them by still paying to see them when they consistently show up late.

    If people refused to pay, they might make it to the venue on time.

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