Unsolicited Advice: Should a woman judge a potential partner?

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Dear Black women,

Here is some unsolicited advice. Heck to the yes! YOU BETTA JUDGE! When it comes to any partner, women, especially Black women cannot afford to be nice or not judge. You see the wrong partner can ruin our lives with struggle, poverty, abuse or heart-break. We all know one woman who hooked up with the wrong partner and it ruined her life. We’ve also seen a partner ruin a woman’s life and then blame her for letting them. We won’t let that happen to you, because we’re honest.

I can already hear the “don’t judge” build-a-man crowd is crying now. Y’all are going to call me mean, angry or whatever. So what! This is real life. Unlike you, I just want the best for my sisters and deep down you know I’m telling the truth.

You see the truth is Black women don’t have the safety net other women have. And we sure as heck aren’t protected like other women are. For the same jobs we don’t make as much as other women do. We are the last hired and the first hired. We’re already dealing with racism and misogyny; we don’t need anything else like a screwed up partner and drama on our plate. We literally can’t afford not to be picky. So sis you better judge like hell. YEP, judge like a mother. Judge how they look, act, speaks and everything else. Ask yourself if this is the quality, yes quality of human being you want to spend your life or mix your DNA with? If not, be wise. Please make sure pick the best person for you. You life, your children or potential children (for those who want children) and  your quality of life depends on it.

Thanks for reading. Share this with someone who needs it. We all know someone who does and let me know what you think. The only limit you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.

Love always,

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  1. T In the D 6 April, 2016 at 18:04 Reply

    The main issues is, the word “judge” doesn’t mean what a lot of people think it means. According to Meriam-Webster: “Judge: to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises.” This is negative how?? Some people think “not judging” means that you’re supposed to ACCEPT any type of actions, words, etc. WITHOUT forming an opinion.

    As a result, you get people saying things like, “Yeah my man has 5 kids with 5 different women, but who am I to judge?” They think everyone should be able to do whatever they want without ANY repercussions, social or otherwise. They don’t have to damn those people to hell, but they sure can make a decision not to bring undesirables with their undesirable behavior into their lives.

  2. Mimi 17 April, 2016 at 02:26 Reply

    So many people do not understand the difference between being judgmental and judging. We must judge, or WE will be under judgment.

  3. Nyomi 16 May, 2016 at 00:38 Reply

    Yes, I judge the type of men I date all the time. I look at everything. And women with children must be very cautious at who they date also. I personally feel that no woman should date a man thats unemployed. The financial burden will all fall on her. When you are in a relationship, its suppose to be a team not one carrying all the weight than the other. I see so many black women getting involved with black men who are unemployed and have nothing to bring to the table. It saddens me. It only leaves the woman hurt and used in the end. Stop while you are ahead. I have always been a firm believer in never dishing out money to a man in the beginning. You dont know his intentions or him for that matter. There are alot of men who do lie and put on false aires to win you over in the beginning. But I always find out and cut him off. I dont think women understand or know how much control they have in situations. You set the tone.

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