Whenever I hear a Black Woman call herself a “strong Black woman” I roll my eyes and automatically think mule. You know the animal that works hard and carries everyone’s load. Little does that Black woman who has called herself a “strong Black woman” know that, that thinking is deeply rooted in racism.You see, in order to justify the rape of Black women Black women had to be dehumanized. Did you know that one of the old slavery myths was that Black women did not feel pain? Yes, they thought we didn’t feel pain and that notion is still prevalent in society today.
“RIO DE JANEIRO, Nov 14 2012 (IPS) – If a black woman and a white woman both need emergency obstetric care, a Brazilian doctor will assist the white woman because of the stereotype that black women are better at handling pain and are used to giving birth.
Because of cultural and social conventions in Brazil “blacks are seen in terms of stereotypes, and that leads to them not having the same guarantees in healthcare treatment as whites have,” Crisfanny Souza Soares, a psychologist with the National Network for Social Monitoring and Health of the Black Population, told IPS.” - Inter Press Service
For me personally, I cry over a paper cut. So whenever you hear someone say this remind them that we are not super women. We can’t jump tall buildings. We alone can’t and darn sure won’t take care of 50 family members on $1.50. Black woman alone cannot save the “Black community” and I refuse in the name of Jesus to march for little dude who was a terrorist gang member turned community martyr because was killed by the police in a shoot out.
A survey by The Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation reveals that black women have more trouble paying their bills or getting a loan than white women. And they are trying to regain their footing in a world where more than half feel as though they do not have the skills and education to compete for a job.
The Post-Kaiser poll of more than 800 black women is the most extensive exploration of the lives and views of African American women in decades. In nearly 20 extended interviews with women who participated in the survey, a picture of frustration and resilience emerged.
Nearly half of the women surveyed said they help out elderly relatives, and more than a third regularly assist friends or family with child care — outpacing white women in both cases. Washington Post.
I have seen people take pride in struggling. INSANE!I don’t care if Aunt Sally did it. It’s stupid. I don’t care if cousin Nay, Nay did it. It’s stupid. I don’t care if your grandma’s mamma did it. As much as I love her it is still stupid. There is no joy and benefit in being a mule. All you get is poor health and it leaves you broke and broken. I personally do not admire people who are in ill health, are the family ATM, takes care of their of their adult children’s litters, runs the church meetings, cooks dinner for pastor even though pastor can go to McDonald’s, and works ten jobs because they want to take care of adult leeches. It is stupid. You see that “S” she wears on her chest stands for sucker and people are using and mocking her. Don’t believe me. Just type in “strong Black woman” on Twitter and on Facebook and see what turns up. When a friend of mine called me a “strong Black woman” I shut it down. I refuse to wear that title. I told them I am a woman. Treat me accordingly.
So whoever told you that Black women were supposed to live a life of misery, struggle and martyrdom is a liar. They are hurting us. Folks already died struggling so you don’t have to. So appreciate their gift by enjoying life. Life as short and meant to be lived. Go live, love and laugh.
Please read one of the my favorite posts “Death to a Strong Black Woman” by Erika Nichole Kendall.
Great piece.
I don’t think I said it much-because, I pretty much felt that way, as well. But-now, I don’t know that I’ll say it ever! Truly an eye-opener, Sis—TRULY! We need to RE-educate our sisters on this. It’s okay to REFUSE to be “superwoman”-and YES-lose yourSELF in the “process”… And, thank you… that felt good!
Wow glad that their are other women who thinks like me. Being a mule is no fun. I used to call myself a strong black woman, but thank god I realised that I was only hurting myself and setting myself up for harsh treatment from others. I no longer wear that title. I am a woman and women were not meant to bear the burden of society or community.
I totally agree with this post. I’m black and I’m Not a Mule lol. I love being feminine and ladylike and I’m not that stupid girl you can take advantage of because I have a good job or the go to girl to carry your burden for you, sorry I’m not a strong black woman
Honestly, I believe both the writer of this post and others of this perspective haven’t properly addressed the problematic underlying assumption present in this argument- the assumption that Black women equate strength expressed in the ‘strong Black woman’ phrase with death-defying feats and behavior that ultimately leads to self destruction. This may be true for some, but it isn’t true for all. The idea, then, that someone would roll their eyes at another woman claiming racial and gendered strength, especially one who’s situation she is not fully aware of, is presumptuous, at best. Looking up the basic definition of the word strong, on any given day, I can find myself described by at least 9 of the entries. This doesn’t mean I’m strong all the time and on all issues, but my general attitude and resilience, given my own life story, seems to merit such a title. Countless other women of color share that strength with me. And before once simply dismisses my statement as ‘not what she meant,’ why, to dispel issues associated with the phrase “strong Black woman,” does the author choose to distance herself from the words themselves as opposed to redefining them and encouraging others to understand the consequences of seeing Black women as impenetrable? Are there women who take on too much in the name of being a ‘strong Black woman,’ to their detriment? Sure. But I think this perspective adopts the wrong approach to a solution. Maybe if we focused more on reevaluating the actualized behavior the phrase encompasses, we can move toward a healthier, and yes, stronger, position as women of color.
Strong Black woman= I am a mule, I have to do everything alone, everyone depends on me and must suffer (financially or health wise) in silence or else I am weak.
What Is A Strong Black Woman?
http://newsone.com/1237555/what-is-a-strong-black-woman/
The Myth of the Strong Black Woman
http://www.thenewblackmagazine.com/view.aspx?index=50
The Strong Black Woman Syndrome
For some black women, economy and willingness to aid family strains finances
http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/for-some-black-women-economy-and-willingness-to-aid-family-strains-finances/2012/01/24/gIQAGIWksQ_story.html
That is why I roll my eyes. I refuse to redefine something that is not beneficial to me. All we have to do is see how redefining the “N” word turned out.
I’m glad you replied to her….some of us still don’t get it. What does ‘strength’ in a person have to do with their race and why should I give myself a label which actually works against me!
I really love you’re blog, put you on my blog roll
Thank you!!!
Reblogged this on isomKuade and commented:
Thoughts?
So mad about that cover photo full of fried chicken…smh
I’m giving you a standing and stomping ovation for this piece, well said. I just turned forty the other day and I thought to myself the best gift I can give me is ME. There is no way I’m carrying a grown man, chick nor grown child on my back. To be honest there was not aha moment for me because one rule I’ve always lived by is people only treat you the way you allow them to. When I say giving me back myself means that I am going to take the salsa and yoga classes I want to take, I will be spending more time working out and walking. This much I know is true You have to always make you a priority or others will take you for a doormat.
That facebook page is ignorant. I agree about this. I dislike when black women shrug off important things that affect us like it doesn’t matter. I hate how black women were taught to feel numb to everything. It hasn’t benefitted us in any way, because NO ONE CARES! They don’t care if you do show pain so what makes you assume they care if you don’t? We’re human we’re suppose to feel, funny how “those” black women can feel for others trials and troubles but when it comes to her collective group and herself as a black female, she feel she has to block out the pain and be strong. No other being is taught to ignore pain and hurt but black women, which allows us to continuously be hurt.
I’m late but seriously? What’s wrong with being strong? I sure as hell aint weak! It never crossed my mind to do for others and ignore myself. But strong to me means independent smart etc. I’ll never be a mule and was honestly in no danger of becoming one. But intelligent hard working and yes STRONG is something no one can take away from me. I see where you were going but is teaching young girls not to be strong really what we need in our community? Better a self serving mule than an uneducated unambitious Christian baby momma black woman
i agree with this post
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I’m a new subscriber after reading this. One of the thoughts that came to my mind after reading this is how would we look at a White woman who goes around saying, “I’m a strong WHITE woman!” We would probably think she was racist and crazy. I agree with so many of your posts. I pray “Black” women wake up!
Thank you
I like this post a lot and I agree. I don’t like that stereotype and I think it is another stereotype to demean us as women.
We are women with feelings who happen to be Black not mules
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We should talk…
This was a real eye opener.
Thank you.
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I wish people would stop using a mule as an example of a woman or person being used. People really need to do some research on mules. I can a sure you that no one can overwork a mule.