Warning: This is a rant. I’ve had enough and I hope other Black women have had enough too. Move on sis. Screw what others say or do. Live your life for you.
Dear World,
Leave Black women the hell alone. We get it. You hate Black women. We see and can hear you. We know you hate seeing us thrive while you wallow in your victim-hood on the internet. We know you hate our Blackness but will copy our style and stick foreign objects in your body to get our natural curves. Your imitation, though second rate is quite flattering.
We know you want to control us because you are a failure. You want to erase us because you cannot stand the sight of you. You mock us. You abuse us and mistreat us. You claim no one wants us. You ignore us but want loyalty and depend on us because no one else will help your sorry behind. You stay in our hairlines and try regulating our waistlines while begging the police not regulate your sagging. We see that you are a hypocrite!
When I say no more, you say I am angry. Well, so what? I am human and just like other humans I am allowed to express the full range of human emotions. Now I am loud too loud? So what! It is because I have something to say. All of a sudden I am too sexual or asexual? So what! You are mad because you cannot have any of this. I am too Black? So what! Watch me age gracefully. Is my hair too nappy? So what! I can curl it, straighten it, twist it, color it, grow it, sew it, weave it and fro it. You can’t! Black women are either too hood or too bougie? So what! A true genius has the ability to communicate on all levels.
We see through your tactics and fake calls of unity. We see your manipulation, misdirection, theft, lies and attempt to distract us from our goals. We all know you are powerless and weak while Black women are powerful, beautiful and brilliant. We all know deep down you admire Black women. In fact, you want to be Black women and are mad because you can’t. Yes friends, we get it. You hate Black women. So what? We already know this. Join the god damn list. Leave us alone, keep watching us thrive and get the hell out of our way.
Sincerely Your Fellow Human,
Bougie Black Girl
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Tell it BBG!
Brava!!!
YES!!!!!!!!
*APPLAUSE*
There is a very old saying that one cannot control the actions of another. One can only control one’s own actions.
With that in mind, black women should stop giving a good damn about what the world thinks of us.
Tune out the critical and meet indifference with indifference. What people, institutions and communities fail to support black women they have abdicated their say in anything we do. Our time and energies can be better spent on making our dreams happen, most of us have to do this on our own anyway often against opposition anyway. Better to spend our time with those who actually do have our best interests at heart.
Final thought. If you are a self-supporting woman, living in your own home how much can you be really affected by the denial of support from those attempting to undermine you? You can keep a roof over your head, food on the table and the bills paid. So does what any naysayer think or say really matter? It is all about control of you and most pointedly your resources. Always has been.
Amen
Omgsh how are you going to have me crying on train this is so beautiful I’ve bookmarked this page. So many times we hear such negativity about black women its so hard because we never any allies but this just made me realise we have each other. I honestly believe that in the future more and more black women are going to unite and help each other as never before. Love this x
Hugs sis. We are united here.
People hate when you say All. But, where are the voices of the Black men who love Black women. They are ominously silent. This it’s sad.
Maybe the issue is more about us than it is about them. When I was 17, I decided to live life on my own terms & that nothing else was important, certainly not the thoughts, feelings or attitudes or any person outside myself.
I fail to understand why any thinking person would waste tine fretting over some amorphous “them”, most of whom don’t know or care of your own existence. I don’t blame Black men for not defending every Black woman everywhere in this world. I have a husband & son who protect & uplift me. I don’t live my life according to racism, cultural appropriation or respectability politics. I just live and let be. All the talking & writing in the world can’t change a person’s heart or beliefs. So fxck them.
Yikes! Another “Bets be leavin my black kangz alone, maybee itz juss you” type black women. Another post blaming black while coddling black men. And that’s why we are, where we’re at right now in the community. We’re not talking about sons, husbands & daddies, those are your kinfolk and loved one’s, that’s a given. We’re talking about black men universally/globally. Black men do not not have the same emotional connection to black women, as black women do them. This pattern is not prevalent amongst any other race of men, or women, only black men. If it doesn’t raise eyebrows then something is wrong with most of you. Even black women in other countries and communities say the same thing, all the way in Ethiopia. If you don’t see this bizarre blatant disparity as a problem, then maybe black women need to start being as nonchalant about everything as you guys do regarding black women. There’s no reason for black women like you, and others to have this emotional attachment to black men, voluntarily defending them without them even asking, while saying “Well they don’t have to defend us the same”. That doesn’t even make sense, and is total blasphemy. Stockholm syndrome is a creepy thing.
Yaaas!
My sentiments exactly. You don’t like me, then leave me the hell alone. I don’t want a damned thing from you. I have no desire to be you, to be wanted by you or even want your company. I’m happy just as I am.
You guys, I have to admit something and honestly, I felt ashamed about my own emotions earlier today. For years I’ve turned a blind eye, held myself tight and said, “it doesn’t affect me”. I lied to myself each time I saw a black man with a white female who purposely sent evil looks my way that were soul piercing as if to say, “I hate you” or “don’t look at me”. Today I actually couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I went to my car and I just couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I was crying because I realized that black men in disproportionate numbers actually hate black women. I am so angry, disappointed and hurt. I think it hurts so much because I don’t think there is another race of women on THE PLANET whose men loathe, disrespect, abuse in every way possible, challenge our worth, femininity, humanity and beauty by constantly comparing us, to every other race of women on the planet and supporting and encouraging the world to do the same. I hope this did not sound like a pity party but honestly, you guys, if I can’t be honest and vulnerable with you, my BLACK SISTERS, who can WE be vulnerable with? It seems that we are alone in this. Maybe I’m wrong. I honestly hope so. What do we do about that? I want this to change. It does matter what the world calls us. We as adult Black Women have a divine right and responsibility to protect our lives physically and emotionally and those of our future witnesses. …. Our daughters. I think it’s time we stop supporting, and making excuses for our abusers, SELF HATING BLACK MEN. After all, isn’t that exactly what this is…..Abuse?
I wish more black women had an iota of dignity. I am baffled how so many of us as a group do not realize how unattractive the clinginess is to men. This stems from decades of losing touch with who we are the value we offer as beings. We stopped having goals, breaking barriers, and fighting for what we deserved, which is the basic sense of belonging and a right to purse our individual happiness in this country. In the 60s we had better collective self esteem because we were doing this. But when you stop nurturing your spirit, you begin to feel small and insignificant, and lose ground with the important things in life. You also lose “friends” because you lose yourself.
Don’t worry about feeling alone. Most people are alone in this day and age. I don’t see nearly as many folks even talking to each other. However, our journey as individuals truly is solo, so get used to it.
Back to men. Men in general do not like the obvious. BW really can’t be blamed too much for their faulty actions, because I know that most mothers haven’t groomed their daughters well in attracting and keeping men. It’s apparent on a large scale when I look at today’s young black women. They are products of negligence. Women who did not invest in their girls. But this is where we have to take matters into our own hands as women and give ourselves the gift of self discovery, and for some, self worth. This can never be bought…it requires a lot of reflection, facing fears, exploration, and work to deal with internal and external messages that overshadow development and keep the authentic you from showing its glory.
Don’t ever give freebies. Men do want loyalty or anything that they have not worked to earn. It’s like BW professed this level of devotion that was not warranted. I think the only reason why there was this culture of loving and professing love to black men, started in effort to placate them during slavery days, so they wouldn’t feel emasculated when BW were having relations with slave owners (whether forced or consensual) and it just took of like a train out of the station and never left. I get that. There really was a need for it at the time, because I’m sure it was a protective mechanism for black women to avoid coming home to a angry and emasculated man taking his frustrations out on them. But when done out of context it has utterly no value.
I think parting ways is a good thing. I just look forward to seeing black women move on to better things in life. We’re amazing women and we have done tremendous things for humanity. Let’s remember who we are and what we are meant to do. It’s WAY beyond the whole “black” thing.
i completely agree with what this article is saying right on
i absolutely adore this woman she says everthing that im thinking somethings im not
I read once that the reason black men hate us is that our very presence reminds them why they’re not men. As long as there are black women in their lives (as mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, etc.) to remind them where they came from, and who they really are, no amount of pretending on their part can erase the fact that they are black, and will always be seen as less of a man than their white counterparts. , white men choose white women as trophy wives and girlfriends. black men, ever imitative of white men, do the same, but there is always a mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, cousin, etc. whose blood they share. when black men see us, they loathe themselves.
Love this post, I want the book, we are great!!
I don’t give a shit. I am a trophy. White woman. Kiss my ass and lick the black off it. we make black men don’t ever forget that. You hate us. You hate them. See black woman are hated because white woman wants us like a slave. we don’t back down ever. Some black men will fall into that manuiplulation. See in slavery time the white woman knew black men have a big dick. So she accused him of raping her. White woman were jealous of the black woman she would have them beat by slave masters for no fucking reason.
So ms white. Do you want to be me. You want to Brown your skin. You want curves. You want out breast. Our lips. Our ass. Our son’s. Guess what Bow down!!! And show respect. or black woman will demand and take it.
All I can say is if a black man saw Lovelyboo’s (above) rant he would say that it proves his point…another angry black woman. I, personally, don’t think ms. white women wants to be us…they just want to be and belong to black men and black men are proud to reciprocate. I’ve heard black men say they like being with white women because “I can be myself with her”. What? What white person can understand a black person’s persona? Delusional! Anyway, what can you do? It’s what it is and no amount of talking is going to change that. It’s like the song by Bonnie Raitt goes….”I can’t make you love me if you don’t. I can’t make your heart feel something it won’t”.
On another note Lovelyboo asks the question of ms white. “Do you want our curves, our breasts, our lips, etc. Well maybe you haven’t noticed but all black women don’t have full lips, big, breasts or booties/curves. Those features are not exclusive to black women just like all black men don’t have large penises (that my dear, is a fallacy of EPIC proportions!). I see women of ALL races with the features you describe and thanks to all of the hormones in our food, women/girls today are a hell of a lot curvier than they were 30-40 years ago.
In the US, our black is not pure black. That was stolen when they brought our ancestors over here. The white man diluted and corrupted our blackness by raping our women…and in doing so mixed their blood with the very people they hate. I heard a 60 something, very fair-skinned, straight-haired black woman say “The damn white man came in and stole everything from black people. Stole the deep dark, rich complexion I could have had. Stole the full lips I could have had. Damn…I wish I could wear an afro but my hair is too damn straight”.
White women may have our sons but the reality is….our sons don’t mind at all.