Jesus Save My Baby Hairs: A Natural Hair Rant

By La Femma Negrita

Image via Natural Hair Models

Hello, my name is La Femme Negrita and I am a natural product junkie! Now, in unison please say, “Hi, La Femme.” Anyways, I went natural and did the big chop in December 2009. Prior to the chop, I thought “Dang, since I am going to go natural, I am going to save hundreds of dollars a year.”

“Welp, no I didn’t.”

I went to the all powerful and all knowing internets and lo and behold, I found Jane Smarter Moisturizing Lotion, Ms. Sassie’s Curl Pudding, Shea Buddha Curling Masque, Dinky Curly Shampoo, and God knows how much other curl defining crap I can lay my naturalista hands on!

I spent money! I mean real money on this sh** and as a result… My hair looked the same. No change except my baby hairs looked like I just stepped out of a bad TLC video!  I didn’t have bouncing beautiful curls like the company sponsored Youtube videos. Nah, I got what my Daddy gave me and guess what? Most of those products I spent money on are still sitting in my bin, half empty!

On the pedestal and a little off topic!

Anyways, so there is money to be made off of us natural sistahs. Our permed sistahs ain’t alone no more! Don’t feel bad y’all! We are united as victims of the modern day black hair exploitation. Y’all want to end the battle of the hair wars, put us on the same side! We have a mutual enemy and they are the corporations. They are robbing us blind with junky greasy products that do more harm than help. But the game is not new. They are marketing to us by modeling biracial beauties that many of us don’t look like. (Sounds familiar y’all!) Companies call it multi-cultural and they purposely dilute our blackness by shoving people who call themselves “one-sixteenth Creole,” or say that “My great-great granddaddy was a white man, or “I got Indian in me,” so “I-am-not-so-Black” down out throats. I could go on and on about the marketing schemes and how it manipulates your self-esteem as a black woman… but that is another topic!

Back to the point!

Anyways, stop spending $10, $20, or $50 for some goo! Most of that stuff doesn’t work. There are products that might work for you but my only piece of advice is making some of that stuff yourself. We all have grandmas and great grandmas who had hair down to there, ever wonder how they did it. Basic maintenance 101. Wash it weekly or biweekly, stay away from brushes, small tooth combs, eat right, exercise, wear a silk scarf at night and take your vitamins. My grandmother preached the use of coconut oils, shea butter, and olive oil. Her hair was down to her ass!!! And you know what else she did, she left her hair alone. She wore wigs and it protected her hair.

Also, take your ass to the salon that specializes in natural hair. Keep a sistah or brotha workin!!! If you want to keep it one hun-ned then support a black business. Remember, a hair stylist is an entrepreneur and if she or he can keep your hair right, support them!

Final Random Thought

Read the label on back of your “conditioner.” I’ve

wondered if “conditioners” contain alcohol which dries your hair, then why are they called conditioners?

FYI – I am not a hair professional, never claimed to be one. I just have a head full of natural hair and I got tired of the okey-doke!

***Rant Over**

La Femme Negrita blogs at or follow her on twitter at @LaFemme_Negrita