A question few African Americans want to answer: Why are Black women fighting for Black men?

 I have written about this before but after seeing the picture below and reading the accompanying article I felt it was worth repeating.  By the way, pointing this out doesn’t mean I hate Black men. I don’t. I hate sexism, misogyny, intraracism and colorism that both knowingly and unknowingly benefits Black men and hurts Black women.

Screen shot via MSNBC

Screen shot via MSNBC

I am going to tell a truth few in the African-American population want to hear. This is absolutely shameful. I have to ask why are Black women fighting for Black men when they are not doing the same for us? No other community expects the women to protect men.  Then I ask what kind of man would want a woman to protect them? Don’t they feel ashamed? What was the result of Black women protesting on behalf of Black men? A Black woman was shot on the streets of Ferguson while marching and no one gave a damn.

I understand Black women’s draw to protect them. I have a family but the difference between me and these women is that I value my life and I expect reciprocity. If I do for you, you must do for me. We have Black women who have inherited the centuries old sacrificial slave mammy syndrome. These Black women expect to give without getting. They expect rewards in heaven for sacrifices made on earth. I do not.

The same men these women are fighting for are the same ones who call Black women hoes, thots, b’s and n’s without batting an eye. They are the ones who street harass Black women and girls and find nothing wrong with it. Hell, because we share skin color they believe they are entitled to harass us. They are the men who will never marry them and will dis us because our hair is too nappy. Our skin is too dark. Our noses and hips are too wide. Our names are too ghetto and our assess are too big. These men never have held the front lines for Black women and our issues which are Black community issues and they never will.

Here is another ugly and unspoken truth. Every single civil rights movement for the Black community was about Black men. These movements were never ever about Black women. From abolition to the current situation in Ferguson, it has never been about justice for all. It has always been about American Black men mimicking White men and their systems of sexual, sexist and economic oppression. That’s why in every movement while Black women did the work of organizing and marching, Black men reaped the rewards and their wives (i.e. Julian Bond, Harry Belafonte and others) and children stayed home. Malcolm X noticed the same thing. The biggest mistake Black women are making and have ever made was believing that Black social justice movements led by and for Black men were by extension were for them. They never were. That is why Black women’s issues are never a priority and regardless of how much marching Black women do, times Black women are shot or beat by the police and our issues never ever will be.

BW & girls

Have you ever remembered a time when the Black community en masse ever marched and protested like this for Black women? Was there a time when Black women’s needs were a priority even though Black women are the majority of the Black American population? No, it won’t happen because Black women’s lives in the Black community are not valued like Black men’s lives are. This isn’t divide and conquer. If you are Black man I suggest you read the Black Male Privilege Checklist. It is pointing out a simple disappointing truth. Those who deny it are doing what White Americans do when they deny the existence of racism. They pretend the problem doesn’t exist because they are purposely ignoring the issue. Why? Because deep down in the corners of their post racial dream they know racism inherently benefits them so  they secretly don’t want end it. It is the same thing for the Black community and Black women. Racism or in this case sexism and misogyny against Black women ensures less competition for resources (for the Black community it also means unlimited access to loyal Black uteri without responsibility), obtaining and retaining wealth, power and dominance over others. Who really doesn’t want to get and keep every advantage they can get even if it is at the expense of others? Well everyone but these Black women.

Aiyana Stanley-Jones, age 7, murder’s trial recently ended in a mistrial.

If people do march for Black women or girls she must have adhered to Black respectability politics. Ask Claudette Cloven and Renisha Mc Bride. A Black woman or girl must be the perfect victim and come from the right people, from the right home, have the right kind of education, have the right look and speak the right way. Black men do not. In fact, the some of the same people outraged by the fact that Zimmerman’s defense wanted to include Trayvon Martin’s toxicology report which showed he was high but didn’t warrant his murder were the same ones that told us Renisha McBride’s drinking prior to her murder was a reason not to warrant activism. I am glad people in the Great Lakes State disagreed. (Look for a post on activism, respectability politics and Black woman and girls victims later on this week.)

If it makes Black women feel better to march, get maimed, arrested or hurt for someone who feels like Black women’s lives aren’t of value fine. I want to let you know that there are people like me who value Black women’s lives including my own who won’t march, protest or heaven forbid fight until the centuries old debt owed to Black women from the Black community of one-sided activism is paid in full.



  1. JamaicanWomanAMK 13 October, 2014 at 12:05 Reply

    So true! Black women must put their needs first and stop fighting Black men’s battles. Fighting their battles hasn’t benefitted us because these men would never do the same for us. Plus like the article said, none of the racial movements in America benefitted Black women and were only about Black men’s internal battles of racism against White men. I am glad more Black women are waking up.

    I changed my name on here from 18AMK to JamaicanWomanAMK because of my Jamaican heritage.

  2. rastamon 13 October, 2014 at 14:34 Reply

    No my misguided sister, the self hate that was beat into our people is clearly evident in this post. Sometimes leftovers look meek. Seventy or more percent of your (our) male brethren are in jail. Maybe you should use google and start the journey of self discovery. You may be surprised where it leads. And when that day comes, “YAH” will forgive you for this hateful spew of misinformation. “YAH” Bless “sister”!

    • Bougie Black Girl 13 October, 2014 at 15:30 Reply

      You are sadly misinformed and bought in to White supremacist notions of Black manhood. If you used google you would see that 70% of Black men are not in prison. Out of 19 million there as of 2009 300,500 Black men in prison.

      So is really misinformed. The truth is men like you have so low expectations of Black men you refuse to hold them accountable. I have high expectations so I don’t coddle Black men. I don’t blame the White men nor do I make excuses.

      One more thing. I am an atheist so the only one I will answer to is me. Thank you for visiting my blog.

    • Bougie Black Girl 13 October, 2014 at 15:30 Reply

      You are sadly misinformed and bought in to White supremacist notions of Black manhood. If you used google you would see that 70% of Black men are not in prison. Out of 19 million there as of 2009 300,500 Black men in prison.

      So who is really misinformed. The truth is men like you have so low expectations of Black men you refuse to hold them accountable. I have high expectations so I don’t coddle Black men. I don’t blame the White men nor do I make excuses.

      One more thing. I am an atheist so the only one I will answer to is me. Thank you for visiting my blog.

    • Shut up your hotepism 26 June, 2017 at 01:22 Reply

      A White guy will tell you the same about your pro black activism Hotepism and will call you monkey ignorant and to shut ur victim hood . At this moment karma will just be at work :—))))))

  3. Bougie Black Girl 13 October, 2014 at 15:23 Reply

    Why aren’t Black men doing this for Black women? And no we aren’t supposed to. My father and husband would be enraged if I fought
    for them. They are men who fight for themselves. Someone told you wrong.

    • Jacquelope 9 April, 2016 at 23:07 Reply

      Nah, I’m glad that black women are fighting for black men. The idea that women cannot fight for men is outdated nonsense. Jamaal and Allegra P are 100% right, when it comes to who fights for who, black women are further evolved than other women.

      The issue is black men not standing up for black women. Shame on black men who don’t fight for black women. Shame on the gangstuh rappers and their culture of rape and domestic violence.

  4. Von 13 October, 2014 at 18:16 Reply

    Why aren’t black men standing on the frontlines? We already know the answer, it’s clear as day in every neighborhood and black collective across the country that there’s a lack of self-leadership and collective leadership. No man can lead if he’s not leadership material. Women are put in front because they are there to serve as a shield to them, but the police don’t have a problem shooting them either.

  5. AK 13 October, 2014 at 18:38 Reply

    Why whenever any black woman is giving out the constructive criticism about a group of black men or an individual black man or is pointing out the truth about them that they feel like they are obliged to put in that disclaimer about ‘I don’t hate black men’ or ‘I’m not judging black men’? Why can’t black women and black girls just enjoy their freedom of speech like everyone else? LOL no one else adds in their little disclaimers protecting our feelings, NO ONE! They just let rip. I don’t like the suggestion of these disclaimers because it suggests an inferior complex.

  6. D,Palmer 13 October, 2014 at 22:12 Reply

    Recently a young black woman by the name “Mary Spear” was shot in the head because she would not accept a telephone number from a stranger and he is black. As for these women they are damn fool’s. Still drinking the kool aid. These women failed to realized that the black community is dead and no amount of whining will help. Black males are only concern with their well-being and they will not help and protect black women period. By the way “Bougie Black Girl” you are telling the truth and many people cannot stand the truth. Many black males who come on your site with their concern trolling have a problem with impulse control. It’s not about them, therefore they try to used disinformation in order to take the topic off black women. Thank you.

  7. RCNAL 14 October, 2014 at 02:57 Reply

    Repsectfully disagree with what appears to be the premise that black men will not and do not support injustice against our black sisters. I would like to see any cases where a sister had an injustice, murdered, etc. and black male activists and black men as a whole did not want to participate in her defense but sisters did. Rosa Parks…Tawana Brawley are a couple I can think of. The Black Congressional Caucus, almost all black men have supported every women issue.

  8. Lady A 14 October, 2014 at 10:22 Reply

    (long rant)

    You know what they say. All the women are white and all the men are black. Any reprimands given to women or people of color due to activism only benefit white women and black men. Civil rights didn’t benefit black women though 70% of the face of it consisted of black women. I bet no one knew that either did they? Vintage women’s rights movement didn’t benefit black women either, and still doesn’t, because white women still operate by racism and they were all for themselves and trying to level white men as black men are.

    That’s why we formed womanism.

    This has bothered me terribly. And it’s even more disturbing to see black men run and try to make sure their mules and mammies keep their reputation looking good.

    If you follow a lot of these pro-black negroes black women’s livelihoods and well being is not a priority of theirs. They’re only concerned about what black women can do for them.

    Black men are never taught to share the same emotional connection to black women as black women were taught. That’s why you see black women, even those without children and are of prime age stating they see their fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, etc in every black man, but I’ve never seen a black man say the same for black women.

    Matter of fact black men will tell you the only black woman he’s concerned about is his mother or sister(s).

    Black men divide black women into groups of the obedient and the disobedient and force black women into proving whether she’s worth protecting or saving or not. We don’t do that to black men, EVER. Because we were taught to always see value in every black man, and to associate him with hardships and overcoming them. We don’t do to black women.

    Black men or militant black women only care if the black woman is the “right” victim, which is pathetic and pitiful. That dehumanzing.

    Within the black community we believe every black man deserves respect and protection, which is why you had a group of black women lusting after a inmate with tattoos on his face saying he deserves a second chance when he was offered a job to model, and he didn’t even date black women himself.

    I never see black (wo)men say I’m glad that stripper got a second chance, they loathe any black woman who doesn’t make them look good so that they can match the image and success of white men.

    That’s all black men care about as well as militant black women, who mimic the exact same behavior as these black men, is black women being side kicks and concubines to helping black men get back at white men. Black women are only valuable to black people if we’re using our feet, hands, mouths and eyes to help protect the image of every kind of black man. Other than that we’re THOTS, nappy headed bitches, ugly dark butts, ghetto, babymama, centaurs, black bitches, and so forth, and need to shut up, sit back and keep our mouths shut until needed.

    Black men are not going to call one another out for behaviors and acts they negatively contribute to that harm black women or anyone else. They tell black women to place race over gender, but not once do they denounce being men who are black, which is sole wheel behind the black movement which they reduced to them vs. white men and who can best one another.

    That’s why no one knows the female victims of police brutality which is freakin pitiful, two black women were murdered or left to die due to street harassment and no one cared. A black girl was molested and killed by her mother’s boyfriend and no one cared. A similar incident happened where a man shot a girl for pulling a prank, only difference is that he was black and so was she and no one cared.

    A black woman was beaten and abused by a police officer and not one negro male cared. A black woman was shot in the head for asking for help on a white man’s doorstep and it took a black woman to constantly fight and bring that story to light because no one really cared. Did anyone see Renisha McBride’s march compared to Trayvon, Mike Brown, or Jena 6? It was like a table spoon of people and most her family members.

    When black women needed the black community to rally around us when Vogue, and various articles and current pop culture erased us and replaced us with knock offs in the form of white women and not black women, black men did not have our back. But black women are always there when we feel white males are getting credit for something black men owned.

    The lack of respect black women receive in the black community is absolutely repulsive and it irritates me to see black women mammy and mule all the time for these same people.

    These same black women (and black men) will throw their sisters to the alligators just like the very slave masters they hate and feel nothing about it.

    I’M SICK OF IT. Black women are not disposable, community anchors, black baby making womb providers or mules so stop treating us like it.

    • Ashnalia 21 November, 2014 at 14:41 Reply

      It should make you sad because everything that is said with regards the division of black men from black women is true. Alot of black men have become the new racists certainly in the lives of black women. They have now joined the racists who are making our lives unbearable at times because of the lack of support from our men who are actually supposed to be the stronger in a race. We don’t have hate in our hearts but we are very very hurt, of this realisation. If our own turns there backs on us then nonone will value us. It’s happening all over the western world. You use to love and respect us, what happened. Even thou we should no longer fight or support those of you who hate us, we are the one’s that bring you forth and so as a mother will fight for her son we still will be fighting for someone elses son. We are helpmeets and God gave woman to men as his most special gift, why unlike other races do you not see your black women as someone that needs love attention and support. It HURTS like HELL. IT FEELS LIKE MY BLACK KING HAS TURNED HIS BACK ON ME.

      • Clarice 16 April, 2015 at 18:20 Reply

        ASHNALIA, you said ” If our own [black men] turn there backs on us then nonone will value us…You use to love and respect us, what happened?”—@Ashnalia, when did black men respect black women? I’m serious. They have been calling black women b’s and ho’s in rap music for years and years. I don’t think they ever respected black women, honestly. They call BW nappy-headed but what race of men puts down their own women’s looks? This also opens the door for other races of men & women to put down BW’s looks as well because they know BW have no protection. And in fact, think about when Don Imus called those Rutgers women Nappyheaded H’s. Two famous black men got on The Tonight Show at different times (DL Hughley & Damon Wayons). Hughey was told Leno “They did have some nappy hair”, and the audience laughed. Damon Wayons did it next on another show. What other race of “males” does that to their own women (who look like them)? And then complain that their women don’t respect them? It’s just crazy. And then BM have told BW that white women are more loyal to them & that they can trust white women more than black women. And after all these insults they expect BW to get out and march for them every time they get shot, which is every month or so. Idk how BW ended up with such losers. BM is the ultimate loser.

      • Clarice 16 April, 2015 at 18:23 Reply

        @ASHNALIA, You’re so sad. You’re a sad case. Please go cry for your “Black King” someplace else. The Black man is not a king, he’s a loser. They don’t deserve to be worshiped. They bring nothing to the table but always expect to be treated like kings. You go bow down if you want to, and they will kick you in the face while you are doing so.

  9. redpaperlantern 15 October, 2014 at 13:23 Reply

    I agree wholeheartedly with what was written above. I realize that these women in question suffer from Stockholm Syndrome, Trauma Bonding, and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, combined. This why they are loyal to those that do not value them, at all. They have no sense of self-worth remaining because this has been conditioned over generations, so it will take generations of diligently working within these communities to eradicate these mentalities. The problem is, is that we do NOT have generations. We have about 5-10 years at the most, and since I am a pragmatist, I will state that I do not believe that this can be turned around. With regret I must say that they are doomed to be cannon fodder, nothing more, and black males would have it no other way. Why else would they have set it up this way and continue to push this mentality? They need fresh foot-soldiers and these women are all too willing to take up the cause- appeasement at it’s worst.

  10. John 19 October, 2014 at 14:35 Reply

    This post was nothing but a hit piece on black men. By a hateful women. The REAL REASON they’re fighting over black men is b/c 70% of them are single. No ones begging black women to be loyal to black men. GO!!!! Haul ass. Find yo white man if you can!!! But you can’t. CUZ THEY DONT WANT YO ASS!!! Your a fake!!! Fake eyelashes, contacts, nails and hair. You don’t like your damn self. But want other people to like you. Your attitude is the worse in the whole effing world. Angry ass. Black men ain’t asking you to do shit for us. Other nationality of women don’t have a problem with us. Only you. And by you I mean black weave wearing, fake nail fake eyes fake eyelashes bad attitude loud mouth disrespectful delusional black women. Enough of this strong black women bullshit. I’m a queen and I don’t need no man. Your the only group of women who says this crap. YOU MUST BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE. When will you try something different ?? Like less argumentive and more supportive, like taking back your femininity, like letting go of the fake hair, nails etc.. Like not having four kids with all different last names. And stop screwing the same man. Get your own. Be wholesome and men will fight over you!!!

    • Kim 20 October, 2014 at 14:19 Reply

      And now if you go back and read what you wrote, you will see why you are the most hated and disrespectful men on the planet. You damn dumby. Black women are doing better than you and other races of women are finding out what so many of you really are. Get a damn clue.

    • Livvy 20 October, 2014 at 15:52 Reply

      Oh John, this is just wrong on so many levels.

      Did you note the name of this blog – do you think that the women who come here are the ones that you describe?

      No, black men don’t need to ask us ‘to do sh*t’ for them, we are so brainwashed that we turn over all our resources to these men willingly. Thankfully this attittude is changing rapidly.

      And why is it that black men only have a problem with ‘fake’ on black women – on non-black woman fake tan, fake breasts, fake hair and everything else is accepted with not a peep from men like you.

      The most laughable comment you made was about black women being angry with ‘the worst attitude in the whole world’.

      THIS from the man whose collective must have the highest murder rate in the world!

    • Lady A 25 October, 2014 at 00:09 Reply

      It’s always black men with the worst attitudes talking about black women’s attitudes. Seems like they’re the only one’s who want to be loud, and opinionated. It shows that they’re very weak as a group. They need to demean and dehumanize the women in their community to feel manly, because they feel emasculated that they don’t have the power white men possess.

      That’s why most of the complaints from black men about black are superficial and based around the coddling of their masculinity. They can’t bash us in areas we shit on them in like education, finance, and business. They need to feel important some type of way so they use sex and belittling black women as a boost. No wonder why men mock them, they’re a poor representation of men.

      I visit a lot of spaces and non-black women do not put up with ignorant black men, studies show most non-black women prefer black men the least, unless they want a quick fuck.

      Black women don’t owe black men obedience. Black women are just fed up with black men’s narcissism and beta male attitude without bringing anything to the table. They believe they’re suppose to be worshiped by everyone, sounds a lot like the very white men they hate.

      Give the white man back his misogyny and sexism while you’re at it, or go join him, which would be more fitting because you act just like him.

  11. D,Palmer 21 October, 2014 at 19:19 Reply

    I was having a conversation with my friend who is Jewish and conservative. He mention “Ferguson” and how he notice that black women are on the front lines. He already knows I have a poor opinion of these fools. He stated “black men” in this country will not protect women of their own ethnic group. Also these women should go home, think about their behavior. Because they are becoming the permanent underclass.

  12. Lynn in DC 21 October, 2014 at 20:28 Reply

    Bougie, excellent post as always.

    I wonder if the people who claim Bougie’s post is sad or demand specific proof of what women are saying here or claim this post is a hit piece on black man go to the “black women hate” sites to defend black women. Of course not. Black men call us everything but a child of God yet black women have to have black men’s backs 24/7? Please.

  13. Mimi 27 October, 2014 at 23:06 Reply

    35%: Black women experience intimate partner violence at rates 35 percent higher than white women. (University of Minnesota’s Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community).

    I think Black Women will stop this brainwashed Stockholm Syndrome Behavior soon. The Ferguson broadcasts are not a good look and many Black Women around the country are looking at these women walking in front of assault tanks, saying to themselves, WTF?? More importantly, many Black Women are saying, “let the “brothas” protest, with their white girlfriends, wives in tow”.

  14. anonymous 28 October, 2014 at 02:23 Reply

    Black males are only concern with their wellbeing and they will not help and protect black women period.

    Me:So very true.Considering that women make up most of the protests in these black male police brutality protests-they don’t always rise to the occasion on that either.

    I’ve never seen black men say I’m glad that stripper got a second chance, they loathe any black women who doesn’t make them look good is that they can match the image and success of white men.

    Me:They will protect, elevate, and assist any struggling woman over a US black women every day of the week-not to mention cut them slack quicker than they do their own women (Other group of men do “not” do this mess to their gender counterparts to the same degree as black men )yet they wonder why some of us question blind black loyalty to black men as a gender.

    Enough of this strong black woman bullshit. I’m a queen and I don’t need no man.

    Enough of this when self-styled “Afrikan Kangs” check their racio-misogynistic bullcrap and maybe consider the interest of black women alongside their own. In fact, if black men openly declare “out of their own mouth” they don’t give a care about black women (which many of these jackleg males do both faux pro black and openly antiblack males do) or the black community, why should they be trusted by black women to be of any true assistance to black women?

    And by you I mean black weave wearing fake nail/eyelashes, bad attitudes….

    Whoever said “It’s alway’s black men with the worst attitudes talking about black women’s attitudes”nailed it.

    It is probably only me but it is interesting how men go on about fake this or that on women but see nothing wrong with fake gold teeth, fake diamonds, 300 dollar sneakers doo rags, overly sagging jeans or any of their other faux pas. Sometimes I just can’t with “negro male” foolishness. It is also telling they hold us to these standards when we don’t do this crap to them on the same level or that they do not hold their own gender counterparts to similar standards. So very rich and interesting.

    I also feel compelled to say that these black women hating men come across as hypocritical calling black women out for bad attitudes when they come to women sites displaying the same thing. Especially when black women do not do this mess on black male sites on the same level as black men when it comes to black women sites.

    Why are black women fighting for black men?

    In their defense, often times black male bashing by others is used as a way to attack the group.

    Still when black women are attacked alot of these same black men do absolutely nothing. In fact they do join in so good question.

  15. Cheryl 9 December, 2014 at 11:07 Reply

    I appreciate this article. It is the same in the white community, by-the-way, that is why only a particular type of white “girl” captures the attention of the media when one goes missing. White girls/women disappear in this country everyday and you don’t hear about it. America is a patriarchal, misogynistic country. White women being virtuous was just an excuse the white man used to justify killing black men. “We have to protect our women.” If white women felt so protected by white men they would never have started dating black men. They believe the hype—the swagger, the tough black guy image. Most of these guys would be nothing without their black mommas, which is why those women are on the streets. I don’t think they are standing by their man, they are standing my their sons.

    The other part of this is economic. Don’t forget, it is also a class thing. Black men as athletes, actors, and entertainers make white people a lot of money; black women not so much. We have to learn to stand up for ourselves, the way men stand up for each other.

    • Clarice 16 April, 2015 at 18:43 Reply

      CHERYL, you said “If white women felt so protected by white men, they would’ve never started dating black men….” @CHERYL, I want you to think about what you just said. Why would white women NOT feel protected by white men? Hmm? Meanwhile Black men have N.E.V.E.R protected black women. NEVER. EVER. In fact, black women get out on the front-lines and fight for those idiots. Just like in Ferguson. Just like in the Trayvon Martin case. Just like in the Eric Garner case. It’s always black women who have to do the marching, the protesting, give the speeches.

      Why would white women feel more protected with black men when BM won’t even fight their own battles?? Unless you mean maybe BM will bring the black woman along on their dates with white women as a bodyguard for black men, so if a fight breaks out the BW will fight for BM while he runs and makes his getaway with his white GF. Ha ha ha.

  16. Cindy 16 December, 2014 at 08:23 Reply

    This whole post and all of the comments have completely turned my stomach. So much disunity within our black community. So much self hate. It’s depressing! It’s no wonder we are all looked down upon, we hate our own kind why would any one else feel any different? As unfair as it seems the change has to begin with us as women. We are the ones raising black men no?? So if we want a change we have to make it happen. We have to teach our black sons the value of a black woman. We have to show them that we are women of substance and that a woman is to be treated like a queen and not a “thot” We have to teach our daughters how to dress and behave like a queen and not some booty call. It starts with us. You can disagree, it can make you angry, but if we raise our children the correct way they will grow up to love themselves and their queen/king. They will also raise sons who will carry those same values. Change starts in the home my sisters.

    • Clarice 16 April, 2015 at 18:49 Reply

      @Cindy, Black women are already starting to make a change by having FEWER black sons.

      There is “disunity” in the community but what are BW supposed to do? they have losers for partners. It’s like having an abusive partner. You stay with them and stay with them & they just try to destroy you. What can you do?

      Black men are so hostile, don’t take care of their kids, and don’t fight their own battles (but shoot each other in the streets) ,yet feel black women should view them as KINGS. It’s all just too much.

      • cindy 2 October, 2015 at 17:37 Reply

        Lumping all Black men together as one makes us just as bad as every racist person on this planet. I happen to be a part of a very large community where Black men are honorable. Men who fight just as hard for women as they do for men. Where they have babies and push strollers or baby wear proudly! What can the BW do?? Raise their children the right. Raise their sons to value the Black woman. Be present. Be a real parent. Break the vicious cycle. Black women have so much power to make so much change in our community. We just have to realize this. We have to work together and not against eachother. Start by NOT doing what the whole world does by pointing fingers and degrading the Black man. Same for them. Stop blaming the Black woman and degrading her. There’s plenty we can do but we let our pride and arrogance get in the way.

  17. Clarice 16 April, 2015 at 18:34 Reply

    I honestly don’t know what BW can do because you cannot divorce yourselves from black men. You are just stuck with them. I mean, without black men you cannot have black people, and the same for black men who say they want to leave the race and go with white women, for example. If everybody steps away from each other there will be no more black people.

    So it’s difficult for Black women because as they thrive they are being pulled down by black men, who are going nowhere but either to jail or the cemetery. These black men want to take BW down with them, they don’t seem to want to contribute to help their partners. They sit back while BW works and that is not the sign of a loving partner, so….BW may have to abandon BM in America anyway or all together.

    The black race won’t die but it will dwindle in America. It’s probably for the best so blacks can just start over in America, because it’s a lost cause right now as long as BW are burdened with BM there.

  18. Kemo SubhanAllah 8 May, 2015 at 02:52 Reply

    This is a load of malarkey. Ferguson and Baltimore happened when there was VIDEO PLASTERED ACROSS THE NEWS of what happened. The latest time I remember something about a Black WOMAN getting that type of publicity was the Tawana Brawley case and Black men DID rally to her cause.

    You are acting like Black women were marching in support of Ike Turner. MOST cases of injustice do not get publicity whether male or female.

    Furthermore it is NOT the case that all or even most Black men mistreat our sisters. The ones who do get all the attention and that feeds into a stereotype. For instance here in Chicago where we have lots of tall building there may be say 100 people living on a single block. The vast majority are hard working and honest people. The 5 or 6 thugs who hang out on that block get all the attention though so people start saying “that block is full of thugs and hoodlums. ”

    By the standards YOU just put up Black women are foolish to stand with Black men until there are no more Black men who act like ignorant jerks.

    By all means please enlighten me as to what race of people does NOT have some men who act like ignorant jerks.

    Black people need to stand together. Male and female. I do not agree that we should not stand together until our community is perfect.

    I was JUST posting on Facebook tonight about how it is a LIE that Black women are ignorant and mean and emasculated us and therefore we go to white women. And now as soon as I get dy defending my sisters I see THIS? ??

    Knock it off

  19. kwajo 14 May, 2015 at 17:35 Reply

    I don’t question the author’s genuine desire for a better Black community, however she’s very misinformed. All talk encouraging members of the Black community to refrain from fighting for other disenfranchised members of the Black community is counter-productive. If all Black women were to abandon all Black men, eventually there would be no Black women to fight for; and visa versa. The system that has created the Black woman’s misery is the same that has caused the Black man’s. Black feminism/Womanism claims to deal with these matters of race, sexism and their intersection, but I have not read or met any Black feminist who has a true understanding of this dynamic.

    If you truly wanted to problem solve and resolve Black Woman’s issues in the world today, I encourage you to look at how any competent technician, mechanic, doctor, or engineer would approach problem solving. One way is to remove a factor that potentially is causing the problem and see if by doing so, the problem is resolved, or in other words, the process of elimination.

    I would argue that removing Black men from the current system oppressing Black women would not eliminate any problems that Black Woman face today. NOT ONE! Sexism would still be here, as well as racism, domestic abuse, devaluation of Black lives (with Black women being on the bottom), absentee fathers, etc… So an intelligent conclusion would be that Black men are not the source of the problem. If you continue to eliminate and replace potential causes, you may find that none of these problems are eliminated by removing a particular group because the problem is the system itself.

    But who is responsible for building this system, and why is it that every solution that you feel comfortable with benefits the ones responsible for creating the system? It’s because you look at systems as causes, and while you are distracted attacking symptoms, the true culprit is free to continue reeking havoc.

  20. Jim 31 July, 2015 at 21:51 Reply

    So many of the people ssying the author is misinformed – is misled and misinformed themselves and stupid to boot. She keeps it real and since a lot of you moronic black men feel privileged over black women -and the hoodrats; two words: FUCK YOU. You are an embarrassment to black men and women who are great individuals and a hindrance to our communities.

    The lowest ethnicity of both genders IS black women and we deal with the most. We are not valued or respected, even times our own sistas put us down because of the brainwashing they received from white supremacy and bum ass niggas.

    Most back men and people in general feel that ALL black women have attitudes. We don’t and if we do – then we’re simply going through something or don’t wanna be catcalled and then harassed. Or we owe yall something.

    Black women don’t own NOBODY a GODDAMN thing. Only in America there’s all this hate and problems against black women.

    In other countries we are much more respected. In this country we were taught that black is the negative, evil and bad and ignorant morons go by that.

    Without blackness there IS NO LIGHT or creation or beauty. There are positive black men that fights for black women and are bullied and disrespected by niggas and narrow minded black females – same mentality as the asshats who commented on this eye opening non brainwashed well written article.


  21. Sharon 15 August, 2015 at 17:04 Reply

    Black women are taking care of children that black men make and leave behind. We are on college campuses, board rooms, hospitals, church pews, school rooms. The only place you see majority of black men are in prison. As a successful dark skin black woman, Ive tried dating and helping black men come up. Yet, in many of these relationships even though i made more money, was slim and attractive and supportive, black men felt like they were the trophy and that I was lucky to have them even though they broughy nothing to the table. I only date non black men now. The angry looks of black men dont bother me anymore. Ive decided to live my life for me. Let black men fight their own demons and focus on the people in your family. Especially your kids. Enjoy your life and stop fighting for grown ass black men and stop taking care of them. They wont ever change.

  22. D'Eric 30 October, 2015 at 18:14 Reply

    Sad to say this article is spot on. A lot of the problems that appear in our communities are a direct result of inaction by my fellow black men.

    Note to my fellow black men you have a duty to be the protectors of your communities and to ensure safety in them.

    I go to Cease Fire meetings every week in L.A. and it is always the same thing black men and women asking white cops to come into their communities to police them.

    When I propose black men police the communities ww live in and that we shouldn’t need a white man with a badge to enforce safety and give us a sense lf justice I get death stares. Newsflash black men we can end gang violence, sexual violence, domestic violence etc if we want it to end.

    If every black man who wanted peace and safety like they claim really wanted peace it could happen if they did the work to make it happen. But, I’m starting to believe they don’t want it to happen because a lot of black men like the concept of being the “good” black man that is in the minority.

    Want to see how far we as black men have fallen in our leadership role? All you have to do is look at the situation in South Carolina where a black male teacher called the cops on a little black girl then sat and did nothing as she was tossed around like a doll. Did even bother to say to the officer hey man what the fuck are you doing. Then to make matter worse according to what was tweeted by a student in the class said he didn’t feel bad because she should have cooperated.

    Newsflash fellas black women aren’t going to respect us if we continue to let black women and children get beat and face random violence with impunity.

    Finally a message for so called successful black man it is still your duty to give back as well. Don’t be a jackass and refuse to help make black communities better because you like the idea of being a “good” man and think it will increase competition for women and other resources if you did give back.

    It does no good to be a “good” black man if your community sucks.

    Sorry for the rant!

  23. Allegra P 5 April, 2016 at 14:48 Reply

    this is a very good point about the misogyny and specifically misogynoir black women face, particularly as activists and active members of the community….HOWEVER… shaming black men for not living up to hypermasculine standards “aren’t you ashamed? what other race has their women protect them” etc. and typical gender roles is not the way to go about this.

    men and women are both strong, are both protectors. the issue is that they aren’t standing for their sisters as (at all) or as hard as we stand for them- not that sisters are standing up.

    along with dismantling the sexism and racism inherent in our society, we also need to understand that a rigid gender binary no longer serves us, or in many people’s cases – no longer applies at all.

    the stance that you took completely overlooks our black queer family, particularly the black trans sisters that lose their lives at an even higher rate than the rest of us.

    i wish you had focused on reciprocity and equality, rather than attempting to shame men into being protectors and providers and upholding a eurocentric hypermasculine ideal.

    • H. Snider 20 July, 2016 at 04:43 Reply

      Allegra P sit your dumb ass mammy save a bum ass nigga syndrome ass down somewhere. You’re part of the fucking. “I’s gotta save my black kang even though he ain’t shit” female who is another problem Bougie Black Girl is talking about. Shut the fuck up!

      • Ivan 20 July, 2016 at 11:18 Reply

        Ms. Snider has obviously been wronged by one or two errant Black males in her life. There is really no reasoning with her. She will have to work it out over time.

  24. BamBam 15 May, 2016 at 17:20 Reply

    Yeah, it’s time to stop caring for you lazy, violent, self entitled, STANK coon ass bastards we are done with the way y’all treat us, can’t contribute SHIT to the table but your weak ass sperm and violence. Y’all ain shit, ain never gone be shit either I don’t GIVE A FUCK WHO GETS MAD ????????cause I’m FED up with y’all.????.. YALL are the reason black people will never get anywhere, you stupid ass niggaz rather kill eachother off through gang violence rather than get a fuckin 9 to 5 to provide for the 50 thousand kids you dickheads make and don’t help support or protect black communities from WHITE POLICE OFFICERS who come all up in our shit and take YOUR STUPID ASSES TO JAIL while secretly lynching other blacks on the low. I never could comprehend why black women didn’t disown y’alls black asses a long time ago????y’all are nothing but a bunch of trigger happy jail birds????, y’all just love to kill and be killed while black women has to stand on the front lines for you sorry muhfcukas, we literally neglect ourselves for you ungrateful dirty pigs and the way you repay us is by beating on us, degrading us, VIOLATING us in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE, disregarding the way we feel and oppressing us, and y’all use the same as excuse “oh we’re just lost, we secretly hate ourselves, we have low self esteem” OK BUT BITCH BLACK WOMEN EXPERIENCE THE SAME DAMN THINGS AND EVEN TWICE AS MUCH AS YALL DO but you don’t see us bashing, degrading, fucking over any of you, IF ANYTHING we Tryna help y’alls stupid asses and repair the black community even tho BLACK WOMEN ARE THE MOST BROKEN ????and you spit in our faces, fucking pathetic ????????FUCK ALL YALL STUPID ASS NIGGAZ point period blank????, walk around acting like black women are obligated to you nah the next time ya stupid ass get shot TF up I won’t be there ✌????️ Cause where TF ya black ass at when lil ass elementary school black girls is getting they jaw broken by WHITE police officers out here?????, same massa you love so much and wanna be accepted by. Just FUCKING STUPID ASS NIGGAS. Just a bunch of sorry ass excuses with dirty balls???????????? we will soon just abandon you stupid muhfuckas and will fight this oppression ALONE, cause we been doin this shit anyways y’alls asses ain never even been there for us we can SURELY MANAGE WITHOUT YOU fuck outta here✌????️ Go fuck Becky so her RACIST daddy can shoot a hole in your ass. Dumb ass stupid fuckin niggaz, fuckin shameful y’all just the same as white men. Ain NO FUCKIN GOOD, rotten to the core.

  25. Ivan 10 July, 2016 at 16:52 Reply

    Many of these vitriolic comments are smoldering wreckage stemming from the intense brainwashing program afflicting Black people since the start of Jim Crow and officially since the Panthers were decimated at the end of the 60s. Please do yourselves a favor and read “The Black Matrix” by Franklin Jones. In fact, do some reading – period. It’s good for ya!

    • Jason 10 July, 2016 at 21:27 Reply

      Based on what we see happening in 2016 is this article even remotely revalent. It’s mandotary for Black people to stick together. Now we understand that we live in a system of white supremacy.

    • H. Snider 20 July, 2016 at 04:56 Reply

      Miss me with that bullshit. Wrong argument and wrong place for that Ivan. What you’re saying has NOTHING to do with the article much less help black women. It is also NOT a feasible or credible excuse for and ignoring trifling black men who continue to behave like uncivilized barbarians that blissfully harass and kill our women and teen girls nwithout a second thought. The entire point and premise of this article went way over your head and left field son.

      • Ivan 20 July, 2016 at 11:11 Reply

        Every group has “uncivilized barbarians” posing as men. My point is: you’ve been trained by the corporate mass-media – like guard dogs – to attack only Black men (and ALL Black men). It’s a last-gasp effort to split us up in light of the threat of our ever-increasing awakening as an oppressed group. The obvious ploy is right under your nose and you don’t detect it at all. Does it occur to you that ONLY Blacks hate their men (and women)? Not Whites, not Hispanics, not Asians. Stop watching television and take up a course on deductive reasoning (and I say this with all due respect) 🙂

  26. Cynthia 25 July, 2016 at 08:47 Reply

    I also have the same question in my mind. I always read articles that says about hatred and anger from blacks. However, there is another thing that will cheer me up. Take a look at this new fake sonogram video from fakeababy. It is very funny and it makes me laugh so hard.

  27. Carolina 27 December, 2016 at 03:07 Reply

    Love is worth the fight always. I know it sound over acting sometimes. Please check this new fake ultrasound design from fakeababy. This is very funny and amazing. It will make you laugh so hard.

  28. Lovegirl 3 February, 2017 at 09:13 Reply

    Black women must stop fighting for black men immediately. They must put a Black women first and stop to the gender reversal where black men are willing to accept the role of women and girlyfy their looks and involve in homoerotic loves with other men because they crave being submissive and taken care of. The sick truth is black men want beyond doubt is the love of white men. They want to be cherished and taken care of in a loving wife like way by white men. When well-known black men who come out of the so-called closet it’s always with a white man. Wake of black women white women are sloppy seconds. Black men real anger is that White men don’t want their nasty butt hole. Even gay white men don’t want black men and prefer other white men and black gay men are whining that they are being racist by rejecting them. Since white man love isn’t happening they will remain angry, violent hate on you and hate and kill his own mirror image other black men. Move on like I did and black women I know and stop believing the hype that black men push until they need you to march for their sorry weak asses that other races of men don’t want you. I have been happily married to a white man for 10 years and so have my closes girlfriends and we couldn’t be happier and feel like the women we are. Stop trying to compete with black men who want to be the woman. You can’t win because their deep desire for white men love is a sick obsession that they are dying over because it’s just not happening and you are his biggest threat when they see the chance of it happening because you have the golden passage a vagina and they know that white men don’t want their nasty butt hole. Leave then out there to fight their own battles and stop letting them putting you on the front line only to battle for them then turn and run when you need them.

  29. Carolina 19 February, 2017 at 05:57 Reply

    If they agreed on something they might don’t need to fight. I think its not worth the fight. I would like to share this new fake sonogram videos from fakeababy. It is very funny and amazing. The best for your gags. Check this out.

  30. A supporter 26 June, 2017 at 01:32 Reply

    GReat post . Thank you for standing up . It is really awful to see tHAT in the comment section some BM are trolling asf like Tariq nasheed white trolls . Same vibes . Black trolls the white trolls are your brothers regarding Black women so stop fight with them you seem to have the same enemy . You must be those loosers afraid to fight white men instead go at BW . You will loose in the end your contradiction will surface like the truth about white supremacy . 🙂

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