Clicks, likes and shares: The dizzying messages we send to Black girls and Black women

Young Woman Thinking --- Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

Young Woman Thinking — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

Our society and social media is crazy. We send a ton of dizzying messages to little Black girls and then we blame Black women if they faithfully follow them. Here are my observations about social media:

We hypersexualize girls by encouraging little girls no younger than three to twerk for internet clicks, likes and shares. Why? Because we think it is cute.

When she is 13 and twerking it ain’t cute anymore. We act surprised when she is doing it. We call her fast and then we want her dad to whip her ass on video for clicks, likes and shares. In the comment section of the video, we insist that she solely focus on her education and religion because only god and math problems can fix her!

While tell we her to focus on her education and religion, when she is 23 and doesn’t put her body on display for clicks, likes and shares we think something is wrong with her. We feel entitled to seeing her body.

When she is 33, people on social media say that her degrees, career, religion and body pics on the internet are the reasons why she is single, childless, having children outside of marriage, single and having too many children, not having enough children while married, not acting like a wife, acting too much like a wife, being hypersexual or not sexual enough for clicks, likes and shares. Got to blame someone for your failures. Why not the successful woman who makes you feel inadequate because she is successful.

When she is 43 plus, she learns not to give a damn about clicks, likes and shares but she clicks, likes and shares that video of the three-year old girl twerking while wondering why 13 year olds are so fast.  Jesus said the whole log in the eye thing.

It seems like a cycle that sets Black girls and women up to lose. To some we are not enough or we are too much. It is even worse because we willfully engage in it. The only way to break the cycle it is not engage in this kind of social media. What do you think?



  1. Lady A 22 August, 2014 at 09:54 Reply

    Yes we do, this is an example of pure narcissism and control. I find this abusive in many ways, especially mentally. No wonder black women are angry and mad all the time. People literally make us out of real life puppets pulling on our strings 24/7. This kind of mental abuse is damaging and it needs to be addressed more.

    I read that and I even went through a range of emotion with the last one being sadness 🙁

  2. reese 22 August, 2014 at 10:31 Reply

    Black people need to turn off all this media it is damaging our kids. And we watch a higher percentage of tv and media than other people. This is where people are learning things from. Turn off the negative images and watch positive ones. White people have every negative situations we have in real life, but they portray themselves as positive and beautiful 24/7.

  3. Spinster 22 August, 2014 at 18:41 Reply

    Yep. Very frustrating. Damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Just leave us alone, let us be. (But of course, they won’t.)

  4. Von 23 August, 2014 at 12:02 Reply

    Call them out on their nonsense. The negative portrayals of any child or woman should never be tolerated since it sends the message of hypocrisy in what I call selective outrage.

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