When I saw this on MSNBC, I cried for my sisters.
When I read twitter feeds and articles and when I saw images on television and online about Black people aka Black men being killed it made my heart break. It hurt not only for the lives lost but also for the Black women and girls we have ignored. The most horrific thing to watch is watching your existence being completely ignored and erased. That is what I see happening to Black women and girls today.
- Tanesha’s life mattered but you ignored it
- Ms. Pearlie’s life mattered but you didn’t pay attention.
- Aiyana’s life mattered but you discounted it.
I can’t count how many times people have told me that they didn’t know about the Black women and girls killed by the police but every single one of them knows about Eric, Mike, Trayvon, Tamir and Oscar. Oscar Grant had a movie made about him. Will there be a movie for Rekia or will you say hands up Renisha?
Seeing the discrepancy I have to ask, why aren’t my sisters, my daughters and my mothers lives just as valuable as my brothers, my sons and my fathers lives? Why aren’t dead Black women and girls worth your collective outrage? How many of us have to die before you care?
I believe the Black community’s and everyone else’s continued silence about the injustices committed against Black women and girls are purposeful acts of complicity and erasure. You ignore us on purpose. And when you do pay attention, the Black media only cares if we are THOTS, getting relaxers, wearing a weave, going natural, perpetually single or one of many baby mammas. The activists only care if we are the “help” who is marching and organizing for someone else. The Black community only cares when it needs someone to blame.
I know that if I were shot dead today by the police, no one would march for me. No one would speak for me. You probably wouldn’t even know my story but it happened to my brother, who is Black, you would. I sit here knowing that my Black femaleness means that you believe I am not worthy of your collective outrage, protection and love. I know that my Black womanhood means that I am a third class citizen, in a second class community within a “first world” country. I sit here knowing that Black women and girls stories die in silence while Black men and boys stories live in your outrage. I sit here knowing that regardless of how many lists I create and how many times I post this list you want to ignore us. You need to ignore us. You do not see our humanity. I sit here knowing that I won’t stop until you pay attention to us.
A revolution always begins between two ears. Start yours today.
Kisha aka BBG
Yep. Sigh.
The black community is Patriarchal. Throughout history though white men created what is racism, sexism, misogyny, and patriarchy, black people’s response to the person who was the face of human equality, which is the white MAN, was to have the BLACK MAN be the person of combat to take him on.
But if you watch the organized equality movements of other races, both the men and the women are equally in the forefront.
All black people, specifically black men, care about is trying to one up white men so they can say “Na, na, boo boo, we took something away from you”. It’s insulting imo, to the point of the black power movement to begin with, which is to dismantle white supremacy all together.
It’s caused the abuse, violence, erasure, and racism of black women to magnify. No one defends black women against stereotypes, respectability politics, or identity theft (Iggy Azalea vs. Nicki Minaj).
Black men know the movement is centered around them. This lovely comment broke it down beautifully…
“Wow, I absolutely would like to read this entire thread but it’s been taken over by clueless handmaidens and Black male trolls (who for some reason,can’t seem to change their password and log the fuck out forever if they hate BW so much..must be that “mommy coddle me complex” the OP is talking about.)
ANYWAY…
Sometimes I think some folks forget, when they want to play the Blame Black Women game,that Black women ,like any other race, are socialized into prioritizing males, this prioritization doubles because there is a legitimate concern for the welfare of Black boys, so they feel the need to protect Black males even at the expense of their own advancement and liberation. Black women,were socialized, in a patriarchal Black male community,to continuously do this,and to ensure the coddling keeps going, the threaten Black women’s Blackness by questioning her dedication to “The Cause” for seeking out liberation from underneath White male and Black male patriarchy’s thumbs. Black women (at least African-American women,this is from my AA perspective,for the record) are under fire by not only White Supremacy, but the Black “Community” as a whole.
The White Supremacist Patriarchy terrorizes us by terrorizing our brothers,uncles,fath ers,sons, I think, to the point where we are hyper defensive about Black males being rightfully criticized-any criticism is seen as an affront to the Black Community and support of White Supremacy. It works to oil the cogs of our internalized Anti-Black misogyny, which not only benefits White men,but also Black men.
This is why you see the abundance of male trolls here making the same Crybaby Rights Activists,Tommy Soggytits arguments over and over, they are being bottom feeders off of your socialization to prioritize everyone else besides you. They are here to berate you into silence or self-doubt (don’t fall for it! and if you did,wake up!). Many of these kinds of men are abusers of some sort,and not only prey,but depend on Black women’s gendered+political socialization because they like getting away with,or love having the option to use and abuse us with impunity. They do not like the idea of being penalized at large by their own communities. Abusers thrive in these communities because of these “Faux Pro Black” people who believe holding Black men accountable for their misogyny,entitlement ,and talking about something other than Black men is “Divide and Conquer”. You cannot constantly say “Divide and Conquer” without pointing out just who is causing the division here (hint,it’s not just White men causing division~) it’s them and others unmistakably excluding Black women from their narratives,and only treating us like “queens” when we stand,march,and make banners for them when one of them dies.
Women who fall in to their socialization , are merely pawns, but genuinely believe that this is the way to be Pro Black,and any other woman is just old,ugly,or bitter about being third class citizens. Black men are victims of the same system (based on race) we are,yes, but Black men are shown as the only victims (all the men are Black,all the Women are White,etc) in Black communities, that is my issue when it comes to issues between Black men and women. Male voices in a patriarchy,male issues,male pain,are often amplified so loud that it erases us, if these men would gain to speak equally about these issues,stand up and support, it would be great,however ,since many are so invested in their Anti-Black Misogyny ,they simply refuse. Because again, Black male coddling benefits Black males. “
So true
YES
Do you have a blog? If so you should blog it and I will post it on the page.
Are you referring to me? If so then yes 🙂 But I must warn my bog is not for the weak, I don’t bite my tongue for anything.
YES!!! Post it so I can share it.
http://fedupblackwoman.blogspot.com/
This post is the truth! I just came back from the doctor’s office for treatment of my ear infection and this supposedly pro Black male posted a image and paragraph about Black women being bed wenches for dating and marrying non Black men. This post was on my IGoogle account page. I read parts of the paragraph and shook my head thinking, these are the same men that praise Black men for dating and marrying White women while condemning Black women for dating and marrying White men. I felt compelled to comment on that post. So I did and posted my comment. Honestly, I am tired of the sexism, colorism and misogyny from these men. It sickens me as much as White racism.
Yep
We all know why we are erased. It’s because many, if not the majority of black women have been conditioned to accept their status of second class citizenship. Religion plays a huge part in this, which is why I reject all religious dogma based on patriarchy.
All of us suffer from systemic racism in one form or the other and black men are no different. It all depends on what we do to persevere and not see ourselves as only victims living a racist society.
It would serve black men well if they would learn to work together in order to create opportunities for themselves in a racist society that would provide some benefit to them instead of being only reactionary.
I don’t see myself as less than and I never will just as long as I live on this earth. My father did not raise me like that.
I agree
Can’t even argue against this!!!
But I’m over coddling BM I used to Manny hard lol but that’s because I was conditioned so! Now that I know better I have an ENTIRELY different mindset and attitude when it comes to BM.
*Mammy hard
What would interesting is to know how many black women die at the hands of Black men, as some of us have also been conditioned to accept ourselves as less than our men. Indeed, I see very few of our own men publicly chastising and exposing the reality of the abuse these men use to “keep us in our place” until it suits them…more often I see our men making excuses and justifying such abominable behaviour, more so amongst the so-called “conscious community”. It seems that sometimes, the actions of the white man against the black man are a convenient distraction from the violence perpetuated and licensed by the current patriarchal system within our own households.
You bitches are crazy and none of the shit you said is true
And you just proved my point. Since BW are bitches why are you here?
And cis…
THANK YOU!! I was saying this title is missing- CIS-GENDERED, HETEROSEXUAL ABLE-BODIED Black male.
As a white male, I am chagrined and angered by the blind spots that plague our societies dreadful thinking and action regarding the full, human equality of every person regardless of their size, shape or shade.
We need to start treating every person in accordance with the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the most translated document in the world. Each of us, individually and in concert, must relentlessly work to make the UDHR the most fully implemented document in the world.
We know and have long known what we are required to do. Now is the time to quit dodging, quit stalling and do it!
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