Culture

It ain’t about you! Stop complaining about paying support and take care of your kids!

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Today I decided to go there. I won’t just say men folk. This post is about everyone who complains about paying child support. Stop complaining about paying support! Especially on social media. That stuff is pathetic. You made these babies so you’re going to take care of them. Deal with it.

Recently child support became a trending topic on social media because serial baby daddy rapper, Future (who has four kids by four different women), criticized Ciara for not letting him see his son, paying $15,000 a month for child support and having Russell Wilson around his son.  See the tweets above. I don’t know the status of their relationship, but he could easily resolve visitation issues with the courts, child support is income based and determined by the family court system so blame the politicians and the funny thing is Future was OK when Ciara was around his other kids by other women. Lookie there! Honestly, this isn’t about celebrities at all. He sadly sounds like a lot of people. Future is just doing what some folks on child support do, but on a massive and extremely public scale.

What bothers me is the complaining about paying child support. First of all, these are your kids so let’s talk about those who complain about the amount. Who doesn’t want to give everything they can to take care of their own children? What kind of person are you? I swear some of y’all won’t be happy unless your children are living off of $.50 a day and are in commercials begging for food. And some of y’all would still think that is too much. Next folks want itemized lists of what was being bought and how much was spent. OK little Johnny Jr. used toilet tissue and at 100 sheets a role it’s… I am just kidding, but that’s what some of these people want. To me that’s damn near emotional abuse and another way to control custodial parents. Finally, let’s talk about noncustodial parents who say custodial parents won’t let them see their kids. If you really want to see your kids, take it to the courts and get a court order. If you don’t pursue legal action take look inside and ask yourself is this really about seeing the kids or you pretending like you do.

You know what noncustodial parents? Get over it. I don’t care if your mama didn’t get support from your dead beat daddy and took care of 50 kids while making $10 a week. Times are different. Today it’s about kids having a good quality of life and not about your personal feelings towards your ex-mate.

You see this crap posted on social media?
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This ain’t nothing but excuses custodial parents can’t afford to give. It’s not about parents. This is about kids. Stop being selfish and for once think about them.

One more thing! It’s not the state, my or even your relatives job to take care of your kids. It’s yours, so do it and quit your complaining.  Don’t like paying child support?  Take the same unsolicited advice woman hating men give single moms every single day:

  • It’s your fault
  • Use protection
  • You picked her
  • Choose better
  • Don’t be a thot
  • Stop having multiple kids outside of marriage
  • Get and stay married
  • Apply for full custody and raise the children yourself.

Again, stop complaining, act like your kids are more important than your money and take care of your children. Custodial parents, please don’t feel bad about pursuing child support. You’re not being greedy, mean or the other words people use to discourage you from doing what is best for your child. Unlike what people without kids think, it takes an enormous effort to raise children. You shouldn’t it do alone. Get the help you need, even if it’s sadly involuntary. Check out the Office of Child Support Enforcement’s website where you can find local agencies and get the answers you need.

The only limit you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.

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2 comments

  1. Lisa 6 January, 2016 at 11:55 Reply

    This article is written on behalf of and in support of the custodial parent. I am the mother and non-custodial parent of my children. And I totally feel like what most of these non-custodial fathers feel like. Its really not just that simple to say Pay the Money! There is more to raising a child then money. Custodial parents are given a power over the situation that alienates the other parent to the extent, where I get why John wants out of the whole situation…#kateplus8. I get it…however I would never sign out from my children, but I can imagine it. The whole concept of its in the best interest of the child is bogus because children cannot live without their parents or some sort of responsible entity. It really should be looked at as whether or not it is in the best interest of the Family. The entire unit is what suffers..the children do to. Some of the things I have endured over the last six years as the non-custodial has be very traumatic to say the least. And alot of it is based on whether I had money or not. In fact when we originally went to court, the father did not request child support. He makes more than me, and I am a house wife. Later on, he did. So now I am scrambling to keep up with payments. He works sometimes over night while my girls are home alone. I am home everyday. When they were younger he would have to hire a babysitter…while I am home. Why? Because lost love hurts…and sometimes when you have been given a little bit of power you use it to feel vindicated over the situation. You use it as a sharp blade to pierce at the soul of the one person whom there was supposed to be some much love shared. Honestly I think the entire child support system is not really helping families out. And yes, there are parents that are being prosecuted for non-payment and the like. Does that really help the children? No it doesnt. My thought is that if a parent did not want to be involved in their children’s life then that is their loss. To force them is a sad situation and a roller coaster ride to the pits of hell. It boils down to choosing a better quality person to have a child with, someone who grows up with good family values. Having those conversations about child raising and what if. Before my personal experience I believe I would have sided with this article too…just pay that darn money!! But now, I empathize with fathers and mothers who are non-custodials…giving power to someone who has a vendetta against you is a bitch. And to respond to the just go back to court comment mentioned above….once again its not just that easy and simple. Applying for full custody is not that easy and almost never given if the other parent makes an effort…regardless if there are money issues or not. Running back and forth into court is degrading for all parties involved. Take back the power of the entire family. If the government was so interested in really supporting these situations they would instead (one idea) hire family mediators to help all parties come to some agreements mutually beneficial to all. Organize it where there are regularly scheduled meetings to work on all aspects of relating…even concerning how monies are to be handled. A big part of the issues are due to the fact that the pain of the separation is still there and the couple cannot communicate with one another at all. Non-custodials who want to see how their money is being spent have valid claims. Money management may have been one of the factors why they broke up in the first place. Anyway, my thoughts about this can go on an on. Bottom line, this situation in just not that simple.

  2. Chay86 6 January, 2016 at 13:59 Reply

    tbh, I do think there is a gendered element to this. Just look at the meme. It boldly declares that it is about “fathers.” Clearly, it’s a male-centered issue. I digress. But looking at Future I don’t get it. “I’ve been silent for a year”- Why are you silent? I’m sure Ciara’s lawyers have been requesting ish from him so why is he being silent? To me (and this is based upon what I have seen in life) that is code for “Ciara’s lawyers have requested information from me and I resent that I have to answer to them so I haven’t provided the documentation they want”. With his wealth, What exactly is preventing Future from getting a lawyer himself? he says “I have to go through lawyers”. No, that’s bull. That’s what a damn family lawyer is for. And there are family court mediation where parties can draft their own agreements without the antagonizing courtroom element.These are two entertainers are relatively equal power status. It’s not like Ciara is the multi-millionaire artists and he is a minimum wage earner. When it comes to his family life and intimate relationships, Future is not a problem solver. He’s a reactionary complainer.

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