Infant Sucking Finger

One of the most selfish things I have ever seen a single mom do was to decide not pursue child support. It wasn’t because her partner was abusive or incapable. In her mind, like most male identified Black women, requesting child support equated to gold digging. When 38% of all Black custodial parents live in poverty and their average annual child support income was $4,524 they aren’t gold digging. They are getting help.

Custodial Parents Black Race Alone (Numbers in thousands)

Total

3,677

Custodial Mothers

3,246

Custodial Fathers

431

U.S. Census: Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2011, Table 12

She willingly allowed the father to abdicate his role as a care taker. She felt like the kids were her burden and her burden alone because she was a strong Black woman. With 38.8% of all Black families headed by Black women living in poverty this is the dumbest crap I have ever heard. Read more here.  Who wants to struggle? Who wants to feel pain? Who wants misery? Whenever I hear a Black woman call herself a “strong Black woman” I see a mule. Who wants that?? Besides, poverty has medical, physical, mental and social generational implications. Why would you volunteer to put your babies through that?

In a 2013 study it was found that, “The MRI scans also revealed that poor children had two key brain structures that were smaller, compared with wealthier children. These were the amygdala – a structure linked to emotional health – and the hippocampus – an area of the brain linked to memory and learning. Furthermore, it was found that children in poverty were more likely to experience stressful life events, such as moving house or schools, which can have an impact on brain development.” Read more here.

Supposed to receive child support in 2011 (Numbers in thousands)

Race Total Total Total Total Full Pay Partial Pay Did Not Receive Pay
White

7,244

4,030

3,585

2,764

1,642

1,122

821

Black

3,677

1,390

1,265

925

532

393

340

Hispanic

3,021

1,378

1,202

816

450

366

386

U.S. Census: Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2011, Table 4

Well guess what? Her kids went hungry but she was still a strong Black woman.  Her children were in foster care but she was a strong Black woman. Her bills went unpaid and her lights got cut off but she was still a strong Black woman. She was homeless but she was still a strong Black woman. Today, she is older, alone, in debt and sick so I guess she wasn’t so strong after all.

Mean Custodial Parents total income and Child Support income in 2011

Race Total Money Income Child Support Income Total Money Income Mothers Child Support Income Mothers
White

$34,790

$5,395

$33,455

$5,607

Black

$27,517

$4,524

$26,797

$4,337

Hispanic

$22,119

$4,634

$21,334

$4,636

Black and Hispanic fathers total and child support income totals were unavailable because each group represented a base less than 75,000.

U.S Census: Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2011, Table 5

Single parents it ain’t about you. It’s about your kids. Put your kids first and pursue child support.  You need help. THEY NEED HELP! It is your child’s right to be cared for by BOTH parents not just you. They didn’t choose you and your screwed up relationship choices, ego and pride. They are here and deserve a great start.  Child support may not be much but something is better than nothing.