Just because grandma married a piece of trash, it doesn’t mean you have to and cornbread!
Let’s talk about food. Y’all are like why is this girl talking about food here. I’ll get to it later. Just stay with me.
One day I went to my late husband’s aunt’s house for dinner. Lawd she can cook. She made all the fixings. We had greens, cornbread, sweet potatoes and for you meat eaters salmon patties and chicken. I just felt like saying “you name it.” Shout out to Mother Caesar. Let me tell you; everything was delicious. I always eat cornbread last because it’s my favorite. Well, I had one bite of Aunt Donna’s cornbread, and I had a carb crack high. It tastes just like cake. I asked for seconds y’all. It was that good.
You see all my life I made my cornbread my Nana’s way. It was the way her grandma did it and so on. My Nana’s folks were from the Carolinas, so you know how they do. Cornbread is drenched in butter and fried in a cast iron skillet! And it when it was done I topped it with grape jelly. It wasn’t until I ate my aunt’s cornbread I realized there was a better way to cook it. Y’all know I asked for the recipe lol!
I’m sorry I made you hungry y’all. The lesson is just like I followed a multigenerational pattern of cooking corn bread, some of us are following a multigenerational pattern of bad choices in finances, jobs, relationships and even with our health. We don’t question things at all. We do things because our parents and our grandparents did things that way. And if you’re a product of the slave trade or colonization, chances are you do things because our great-great grandparent’s slave master or colonizer beat it into them.
Here’s the deal. The difference between us, our great grandparents and even our parents is that we recognize these patterns. Because we recognize them, it means we can break them. How? First of all, your relative’s fate doesn’t have to be your own. Go therapy. Talk to someone. Create a life plan with solid goals and create steps to get there. If you find yourself going back to the old patterns, create positive coping strategies to pull yourself out of them (this is why therapy is important.)
Again, your grandma’s, mama’s or even sister’s fate doesn’t have to be your own. Just because grandma married a piece of trash, it doesn’t mean you have to. Just because you were born in poverty or saw your grandma get abused, it doesn’t mean you have to. Just because mama worked at a dead end job, it doesn’t mean you have to. Just because dad wasn’t a provider, it doesn’t mean your mate shouldn’t be. Now some patterns are good like going to college or Vo-Tech training. I want you to continue to follow those but push further. Sadly many of us also follow the bad ones. So what bad patterns are you following? Those bad ones are the barriers holding you back from your greatness.
Break the patterns of failure and find your success. Also, put buttermilk in your cornbread. I’m not telling you the rest of Auntie’s recipe so don’t ask, lol
The only limit you have is the one you’ve placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.
Need therapy! Check out The Association of Black Psychologist: www.abpsi.org/find-psychologists
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