thinking businessman

Whenever some negative statistic drops in the media or there are any negative representation of Blackness, the cult of Black misogyny’s default is to blame Black women. If a child came from a single home and struggles, the mother is to blame. If a child comes from a two parent household and struggles, the mother is to blame. No one ever asks where are the fathers? No one ever says to Black men that, “only a Black man can teach a Black man how to be a man so teach.” No one ever says, “only a father can teach a daughter how to be treated by a man.” If someone assaults a Black woman, all Black women and not the assailant are to blame. If a Black relationship fails, it will be because of her shortcomings. Why is it is easy to blame Black women instead of looking at the entire community? It’s because it means we have to take an honest look at Black males. Black males are a protected class within the Black community so we can’t.

As a result, I have decided to write a post asking what if Black women treated Black men the way they treated us. How would Black men feel if the roles were reversed? Would they be hurt or feel discouraged? Would they proclaim their unconditional loyalty as Black women do to their detriment? Would Black men accept the burden of being the backbone of the Black community even if they failed to benefit from it? Would they be rightfully angry and be punished for it? This post isn’t an indictment or attack on the individual Black man. Black men are not monolithic. It’s just my observation of the misogyny and hypocrisy within the Black community. WARNING!! This post is a long one. Black male misogynists, please check your privilege at the door and Black male identified Black women protectors try thinking of yourself, your sisters and daughters for once. Feel free to disagree or agree.


  1. Black women would only support Black women and nonBlack entertainment.
  2. For over 30 years, Black women rappers would degrade Black males and call it Black culture.
  3. Black women would support anti-Black male entertainers who stereotype Black males and minimize it by calling it a just a joke or a song.
  4. A Black woman rapper would promote colorism and intraracism when she says, “Beautiful Black man. I bet he’d look better red” as Lil Wayne did without any repercussions.
  5. A Black woman comedian would say #handsdown Light-skinned Black males usually have better credit than a dark-skinned male…Broke as dark nig**s…Lol. Dark skinned men take a punch @ da face better than light-skinned men…u soft as yellow boys…lol” as Kevin Hart did and Black women would still support her despite the protest of Black males.
  6. Black women would judge and support Black male entertainers based on how light their skin is and the straightness of their hair.
  7. Black women entertainers would purposely place nonblack, light skin Black males or biracial males in music videos and movies as their love interests and erase the images of dark skin Black males.
  8. Black and Biracial males like Drake, JCole, Boris Kodjoe, Jessie Williams, Dwayne Johnson and Wentworth Miller would be the standard of manhood and beauty in the Black community.
  9. Dark skin Black male actors and comedians like Denzel Washington, Idris Elba, Don Cheadle, Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, Wesley Snipes and others would be called a fetish for appealing to nonblack audiences as they said about Lupita Nyong’o . Light skin or brown skin male actors like Will Smith and lighter would be the norm and no one would question their success.
  10. Black women would call Black male characters that sleep with nonBlack women race traitors. Black women would remind Black male fans that White women are the daughters of the slave masters whose word killed Emmitt Till and voted to let Trayvon’s murder walk free.
  11. Black women actresses, comedians and entertainers would write books like “Think Like A Black Woman”, “the Beyoncé Principle: Why Black Men can’t find a good Black woman.” They’d have TV shows with an all-Black woman panel asking why Black males aren’t getting married because Black males do have the highest unmarried rate in the United States.
  12. Black women and Black actresses would justify their interracial dating choices by saying that television shows like The Wire or Oz, rap music, television news or reality shows which were created and controlled by the White media were an accurate universal depiction of Black male behavior.
  13. Black women directors would have told Elizabeth Keckely’s and Rekia Boyd’s story while ignoring Solomon Northrup’s and Oscar Grant’s.


  1. Black women would use the bible against Black males and say Black males have the highest unmarried because they do not know how to provide due to high unemployment and incarceration rates. 1 Timothy 5:8  says, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
  2. Black women who exclusively date and marry nonBlacks  would call it having a preference while Black men who dated and or married to a nonBlack partner were self-hating hypersexual Mandingos.
  3. Black women would use studies by racist nonBlacks to prove the unattractiveness of Black males.
  4. Black women would say that White women are only married to Black men for the money. If Black men didn’t have access to money, we all know that they would have never have access to White women.
  5. Black women would tell Black men that nobody wants Black men except unattractive nonBlack people.

Society and Culture

  1. Black women would call Black men Black males and other names to dehumanize them.
  2. Black women would hypersexualize Black males by reducing them only to body parts.
  3. Black women would blame the ills of the Black community on Black men and Black fatherlessness.
  4. Black women would say that Black males are loud, ghetto, hypersexual, insecure, bitter, violent, broke and jealous of successful of White males based on antebellum stereotypes. Some Black males would even agree.
  5. Black women would tell dark skin males that they look good for a dark skin male.
  6. Black women and nonBlack men would use social media to troll, denigrate and humiliate Black men.
  7. Black women would say Black men who alter their natural texture by shaving off their hair, wearing du-rags, wearing toupees and using texturizers, pomades and wave caps are self-hating negropeans.
  8. Black women would have debates  and create memes in social media on what Black men should do to their bodies.
  9. Black women would say the deadliest place for a Black person to be is to be between two young Black males.
  10. Black issues would only be Black women’s issues. Any focus on Black male issues would be dismissed as divide and conquer or the influence of liberal White supremacist movement.
  11. Instead of saving our sons we would only focus on saving our daughters.
  12. Black political and social institutions like the NAACP, the Urban League and religious organizations would be Black woman focused.
  13. We would be marching for Renisha McBride, Tarkia Wilson, Rekia BoydKathryn Johnston, Yvette Smith and other Black women and ignore Travyon Martin, Jonathan Ferrell, Sean Bell, Darius Simmons and others.
  14. Black LGBTQ issues would only focus on Black women.
  15. We’d dismiss Black males by saying Black males have it easier because they are males living in a patriarchal society
  16. Black women would only study Black women intellectuals without having to consider the scholarship of Black males.
  17. Only a few Black male civil rights activists would be recognized. Black women like Septima Clark, Dorothy Height, Ella Baker, Claudette Colvin and other Black women you never heard of would have become wealthy from their efforts like their male counterparts have done.
  18. Black women would have supported  Barack Obama with the same level of support Black males supported Shirley Chisholm and Carol  Moseley Braun, which was little to none.

Next time you blame Black women for the ills of the Black community remember the women STAYED to raise you. Remember the women that gave you life. Remember how unselfish they have been. Thanks for reading.