Black Women: Ten Signs of a Good Man


I am doing this in response to those stupid lists that tell Black women what a “good Black woman does.” First of all,  men don’t listen to these lists. Men do what the heck they want to do. These lists put all of the expectations of being a super woman on the woman while she must expect to deal with a mediocre man-child. I see right through them. Well sis you don’t have to deal with mediocrity. So in response to those dumb ass lists here is a list of “Signs of A Good Man.”

  1. A good man doesn’t expect a woman respect him because of his potential or his words but on his accomplishments.
  2. A good man has it all together. A good man doesn’t want his woman and children to struggle. He doesn’t want her to do the heavy lifting because he already has his stuff together.
  3. He doesn’t need a woman to “lift a brother up”, give him help, coax him or uplift him. He doesn’t come to her half ass, broke and broken.  A good man is already motivated to succeed.
  4. A good man doesn’t need to be saved. He has the same brain you have. He saves himself.
  5. A good man is a provider. He doesn’t want his wife to take care of him. It’s emasculating.
  6. A good man doesn’t expect his women to march or fight his battles. He is man who is fully capable of doing it himself. That’s what men do.
  7. A good man will protect his family. He will not place his family in a violent situations. If that means working overtime to move his family he will do it.
  8. A good man doesn’t call his wife, daughters or any other woman out of their names nor does he tolerate it from others. He values the women in his life.
  9. A good man plans for his future. He doesn’t believe in merely existing. When you don’t have a life plan you don’t know where you are going.
  10. A good man believes in keeping his commitments. His commitments include his marriage and his children. If a man is not committed to his children, if he abandons his children or if he makes excuses why he shouldn’t provide for his family what makes you think he will be committed to you. That is not a man.

If the men folk do not like this list so be it. Hit dogs do holler. Instead step your game up homie.
Remember the only limit you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think, know and be limitless.

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  1. Max 29 May, 2014 at 11:38 Reply

    I don’t get why black women are bashed the way that they are when it comes to relationships. Goes right over my head.

    I mean they want to be submissive to men who are worth submitting to. Is it a hormonal issue? Men feel threatened that they may have more estrogen than BW?

  2. uvee 1 June, 2014 at 20:53 Reply

    I don’t think a woman should EVER “submit” to a man. That’s ridiculous and antiquated thinking.

    I agree with relationship guru,Debra COOOOPER when she says that egalitarian relationships are best for women.We seem to be happier in them and so are most secure men w2ho are worth our time.

    . There’s always all these rules in the black community and I think they are all distorted, the black community is dysfunctional for years I fought my ex black man, who just didn’t get it. Then I got badly hurt by my child’s son and that was it, I was about to give up.

    Now, I’m with an amazing Swedish and Black man. He’s mixed, but he looks black. I’m happy because we have a very trusting relationship

    . I would questions the motives of a man who wants to double talk a woman into “submitting” to him? Why would a secure man want a woman to SUBMIT to him anyway?

    I’m naturally expecting my husbear to be my protector, because naturally he is physically stronger, but uh…?what do muscles have to do with anything? I’m much happier in a relationship where things are equal, I get to make decisions and last word all the time. He loves it. And, no his word is not always the last word, in fact I’m the “real boss” as he says lolI actually think men love when YOU are the boss. I think it’s a huge turn on. Being a “boss” doesn’t mean what most women think. Being a boss means you get HIS check and manage the bank account. It means you are in charge of everyone’s eating healthy, and running the house smoothly.

    It means he’s the protector if someone robs the house, and would jump in front of a bullet for you. I suggest the opposite, Don’t cook or clean for a man BEFORE he puts a ring on your finger. Don’t even have sex with him until he earns you. Men want Goddesses and untouchable women. Or at least women they think EVERY man wants. I’ve seen the most plain women get the man they want.

    . They want a woman who wants them to be and feel successful. As for most black men, I’m lucky I have one of the good ones NOW after years and years of dealing with the stupidest black men EVER. But I really, really feel most black men aren’t “ish” I think most are damaged and messed up. I’m lucky because my guy is a nerd was born in Sweden, and had a strong black mother. She dien’t play.

    My husbear said that most people used to say he acted white, but he really thought that was stupid because his mom and Dad taught him to act and how to treat a woman. Maybe black men from other countries and continents have better sense? I’m starting to think it’s more of a problem with Black American men. It’s always them coming out of their face. All I know is, that whenever I dated other types of black men, they didn’t act the way American black men do?

    • Tia 5 June, 2014 at 18:16 Reply

      I agree to an extent, but the influence of the Western world (America more specifically) is quite profound. You may have snagged a good non-American BM (super happy for you too) but I live in Canada, and many of the BM I’ve encountered over my lifetime display many of the same qualities as American BM that demean American BW (hence the reason why many of these BWE sites resonate with me and I’m a BW in Canada). In other words Canadian BM (my brother being one of them) are just as likely to be WW worshipers, and emotionally/mentally damaged.

  3. Andrea 28 March, 2015 at 20:27 Reply

    Looking at the comments, I feel compelled to compliment on a few things:

    -In regards to the actual “10 Signs of a Good Black Man”, I feel that a lot of the qualities themselves are ideal and antiquated. As a Black woman who is 30 and married to a man that has spent a large part of his young years fucking up in his quest to figure out how to be a man, I’ve come to understand that ALL Black men have some deep issues with how they see and relate to women. And these issues relate back to the Black experience-no matter which country your from. Blacks are seen as inferior, inadequate, and incompetent the world over. Black women even look at Black men this way–and this article and comments prove that. Black men often have to overpower Black women physically, mentally, and/or sexually to feel powerful. It’s fucked up, but real. Another result of this perceived inferiority, is the fact that Black men have assimilated to the patriarchal white supremacist culture that objectifies women as histrionic, sex objects that are undeserving of any real respect or reverence. And guess what? As Black women, we’re kind of fucked up too! Many of us have “Daddy issues” that cause us to have expectations of men that are rooted in what our Fathers did or didn’t do for us. All while totally neglected the fact that we got some shit about us that isn’t so wholesome and respectful. We got to wisen up y’all!

    My Black man is so beautiful, evolving, and dynamic that I can’t box him into a “top ten” list. By trial and error, I’ve figured out my role in his growth and development. I must consistently challenge him to be a man of character and integrity–something that he didn’t know that he should aspire to be-thanks to an upbringing in the projects by a grandmother who couldn’t read or write. He went to college, married,had three children, and became a felon all before the age of 26. All on the name of trying to figure it out.

    *NEWSFLASH* No man will ever arrive on your doorstep as a complete and perfect package. That’s why the institution of marriage is no longer valid in American culture. We have all these unrealistic expectations of people (that truth be told, we don’t even have of ourselves) and when they let us down, we divorce them, call them dogs, and blame them for our lives being ruined. We have to re-develop our concept of what a “good man” and “good woman” is. Maybe the top ten list should’ve started like this:

    1. A good man is one who is growing and evolving. He takes ownership of his mistakes and understands that he must work to make life better for not only his family, but for himself too.

    All that other shit is just some trumped up fluff…

    • goldenladyluv 24 April, 2015 at 06:25 Reply

      this was by far one of the most sensible comments to a seemingly questionable article…in most cases we all will have some sort of knick, scratch, or crack. i also believe it’s important to want to help a mate heal…and be willing to encourage greatness when needed. much love!

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